Friday, September 7, 2012
Can You Imagine Four More Years of That?
CHARLOTTE: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says with only “59” more days until the 2012 Elections, everybody who was still in town waiting for Obama’s down-sized speech that was moved indoors just in case God is real, couldn’t stop talking about Wednesday night, when Disgraced Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief personified the cultural values of the today’s Disingenuous DemocRATS and sounded more like a campaign speech for a third Clinton term than an endorsement of Obama.
The reason Slick Willie gave the speech was obvious: If Obama wins, Slick gets the credit for having made that victory. And if Obama loses, The Clinton Team is well positioned for 2016. At least the Obama campaign waited until Slick’s speech was over before spamming an “absolutely urgent” e-mail message supposedly personally signed by Bill Clinton, groveling for yet another $5 donation again.
Even Clinton seemed bored. No wonder the speech was hidden from journalists beforehand.
- The 49-minute speech was way too long, but every dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed short-attention-span DemocRAT in the audience was enraptured, as always. Unfortunately the down-sized TV audience thought the election would be over before his speech was finished. The Blower remembered when Clinton nominated Dukakis in 1988 and people were holding up signs saying “Please stop,” and they cheered when he said, “In conclusion…” And that was only 33 minutes.
But there were so many lies, and so little time. The way Clinton kept talking, he must’ve thought he was still president. But finally the ordeal was over, at least until Thursday night. And Freddy Factchecker couldn’t stop wondering why the guy who was impeached and disbarred for perjury kept saying, “This is the what the truth is.”
And wasn’t that Monica Lewinsky’s former rabbi giving the benediction Wednesday night, only minutes after the former President took the stage at the DemocRAT National Convention? Curiously, none of our Kneepad Liberals in the Press thought there was a real story worth reporting.
Hurley the Historian asked why nobody at the DNC recalled how Rabbi Wolpe had publicly condemned Bill Clinton during the sex scandal, after the Perverted President was impeached for lying about sticking his Peyronie’s-bent penis into a worshipful Jewish girl’s waiting mouth in the Oval Office.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Bill Clinton’s “That depends on what your definition of oral sex in the Oval Office is.”
- Afterwards, at the Republican Rapid Response Center, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how Republicans seeking to influence potential women voters might be reacting to Clinton’s Speech.
“The GOP has a new message for voters disappointed with the president they fell in love with four years ago,” Kane explained. “It says he just hasn’t earned your love. Like in the 2006 movie “The Break-Up,” the Republican National Committee Thursday unveiled a new ad that concludes, “I think we should just be friends.”
Then there’s “Boyfriend,” from Better Direction.org, putting out an ad simply titled “Boyfriend” that features a daughter asking her mom “why do I always fall for guys like this?”
Stories We’re Working On
White house blames “others” for Jerusalem debacle at DNC Convention- God booed on convention floor
- Chance of rain at Obama speech time: 0%
- DNC delegates wear “Vote Black” buttons
- Nancy Pelosi promises DemocRATS will take over the House
- Advisors lower expectations for post-convention bounce
- Networks deny Liberal Bias
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said DemocRATS at the DNC Convention in Charlotte think they’re better off than they were four years ago:
(A) More welfare: 2%
(B) More food stamps: 2%
(C) Free abortions and sex changes: 2%
(D) Because Bill Clinton told them so: 94%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Clueless in Charlotte
This week, everybody who thinks the DemocRAT National Convention in Charlotte has been a total disaster, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is our Despondent DemocRAT, who says it was really worth paying all that money to drive all that way to Charlotte and pay ten times the normal rate for his bed bug infested hotel room, only to find out there was no refund for all that money he paid for a seat for Obama’s big speech at Bank of America Stadium that got cancelled.
Despondent wins a another money-groveling e-mail supposedly personally signed by Bill Clinton, a year’s supply Obama Kool Aid, that’ll be left over on Election Night, and a “Hillary 2016” bumper sticker. His winning limerick is:
When DemocRATS discuss their delusions
It’s not easy to come to conclusions.
Because in only three days,
You’ll never cut through the haze
Of all their left-wing whacko illusions.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who claims he’s still undecided about this year’s election):
When DemocRATS discuss their delusions
A favorite is “government intrusion.”
They are full of hot air
On things like health care
Their biggest trait is “confusion.”
The election in two thousand and eight
Was a disastrous twist of fate
Let’s hope we remember
And vote right this November
And show that vain Kenyan the gate.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Here’s what we’ve learned at this year’s conventions”
OBAMA REMORSE HOT LINE
E-mail your apologies and regrets today.
Some despondent DemocRAT items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally despondent DemocRAT subscribers.
Link of the Day
Three Times They Said “No” to God
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
