Special “Conventional Cancellation” E-dition

Thursday, September 6

More DemocRAT Downsizing

  • CHARLOTTE: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says officials here at the DemocRAT National Convention changed the venue of Obama’s big speech tonight. It will not be held at the 74,000-seat Bank of America Stadium. Instead, it’ll be coming from inside the Warner Cable Arena, Obama will be expected to speak to fewer than 15,000 people, or as the Liberal Mainstream Media would say, “over 24,000.” Team Obama is hoping all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed short-attention-span viewers don’t notice the difference. White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard claims the location was changed because of concerns for the weather, and absolutely not because anybody was afraid showing rows of empty seats on TV during Obama’s big speech would be disastrous, by contrasting his campaign of hope and change in 2008 with his demoralized defensive struggle for re-election in only “60” more days.
  • But did the Weather Man for WBTV in Charlotte really say Obama’s speech at the Bank of America Stadium should be OK because the chances of rain were very low for Thursday night?
  • Not to worry about all those Obsessive Obama Supporters who’d traveled to Charlotte to see Obama’s big speech. They can always watch it on a big screen TV in one of Charleston’s many gay bars.
  • Not only that, Hurley the Historian says security for tonight’s event should be especially tight, since on this date in 1901, President William McKinley was shot shaking hands at the Pan-American Exhibition in Buffalo, and died eight days later.

More Embarrassments and Humiliations

  • Disingenuous DemocRATS are accusing Republicans of disrespecting women. How ironic is it that the sex-offender scheduled to introduce Obama at the DemocRAT National Convention tonight is Disgraced Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton?
  • Tuesday night, Michelle Obama pleaded for her incompetent husband at the DemocRAT National Convention. Obama Supporters in the Press said her speech was 10 times better than Ann Romney’s and that was even before she took the stage to use the words “I” or Me” 83 times during her speech.
  • When the U.S. Debt topped $16 Trillion on Tuesday at the beginning of the DemocRAT National Convention, each household in America owed $136,260. That’s up 50% during the Obama Administration. Does anybody remember when candidate Obama called our $9 Trillion Debt “unpatriotic?”  
  • The Campaign for American Values political action committee launched a new advertising campaign commercial during the DemocRAT National Convention. “New Morning” is aimed at independent voters and DemocRATS unhappy with the Obama’s position on same-sex marriage.
  • A video showed Jimmy Carter passing the “Worst President In History” Torch To Barack Obama at the DemocRAT National Convention.
  • Another video showed the DNC’s Tribute To Philandering Drunk Ted Kennedy.
  • 20,000 Dumbed-Down DemocRATS cheered attacks on Romney’s patriotism by Disgraced Former Ohio Gayvenor Ted Strickland. “Having Ted Strickland address the DemocRAT National Convention in prime time was an insult to the hundreds of thousands of Ohioans who lost their jobs during his tenure as Governor. “He trotted out the same tired class warfare message against Mitt Romney that he used in his failed reelection campaign of 2010. It didn’t work then, and it won’t work now,” said Matthew Henderson, an Ohio Republican Party spokesman.
  • Debauched DemocRAT activist Sandra Fluke claimed she was offended after Fox News host Bill O’Reilly said red-white-and-blue condoms should drop from the ceiling at the end of her convention speech. At least O’Reilly didn’t say they were used rubbers.
  • Another Nazi reference at the DemocRAT National Convention: South Carolina DemocRAT chairman Dick Harpootlian compared his state’s Republican female governor, Nikki Haley, to Hitler’s mistress, Eva Braun.
  • And the DNC Crowd went wild for “Journalists for Obama” T-Shirts.
  • Meanwhile, at the Republican Rapid Response Center, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if voters would forget why we hadn’t heard very much from Mitt Romney and the Republicans about the downsizing of Obama’s Big Speech on Thursday night. “Maybe they’re trying to find somebody who can say something with a straight face,” Kane explained.
  • And maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Napoleon’s maxim: “Never interfere with the enemy when he is in the process of destroying himself.”

These Illustrated Spoofs of Current Events provided by Edward Cropper.

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Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our September fund-raising drive from the Obama Call Center in New Richmond, where because there are so few DemocRATS in Clermont County, they have already begun calling Republicans, just so volunteers would have something to do.

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