Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

We were pleased to provide credentials to The Whistleblower Newswire to cover this week’s DemocRAT National Convention in Denver. The way The Blower always beats up on Recovering RINOs, Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus will be welcome in our Spin Room. —DemocRAT National Committee
Does that mean The Blower will be joining us in our never-ending efforts to get Obama re-elected? —Obama Supporters in the Press
Does that mean The Blower won’t be calling me an incompetent gaffe machine with hair plugs? —Bombastic Joe Biden
Does that mean The Blower won’t be mentioning how the DemocRAT National Convention in Charlotte will be a far cry from the enthusiasm you saw in 2008? —The Obama Campaign
Does that mean The Blower won’t be reporting the number of Americans who consider themselves Republicans just hit a record high? —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
Does that mean The Blower won’t be reminding people I said “A Few Years Ago, This Guy Would Have Been Carrying Our Bags?” —Former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton
Does that mean The Blower won’t be reporting the number of Obama’s fund-raisers and rallies last week before he managed to stop off in New Orleans for a better-late-than-never photo op —Edward Cropper’s Editorial Spoofs of Current Events
Does that mean The Blower won’t be pushing the “Bullshit Buzzer” every time we say “Obama’s America is better off today than it was four years ago?” —Lobotomized Obama Supporters at the DemocRAT National Convention
Does that mean The Blower won’t be reporting how Obama has been struggling to inspire voters on the campaign trail, as well as comparing the size of our DNC Convention audiences with viewers who watched last week’s Republican National Convention or the Messiah’s 2008 over-the-top speech with the Greek columns in Denver? —Biased Television Networks really suffering in the ratings
Does that mean The Blower won’t be reporting our outrageous antics at the Democrat National Convention? —Occupy Protesters, already pissing on American Flags in Charlotte
Does that mean The Blower wouldn’t be showing that “I’m Just a Chair Video” as part of Monday’s National Empty Chair Day celebration? —Clint Eastwood Fans
Does that mean The Blower won’t be announcing how appropriate it is when the National Debt hits $16 trillion during the DemocRAT National Convention? —Debt Clock Watchers
Does that mean The Blower won’t be comparing the enthusiastic crowd at Romney’s Opening Rally at Union Terminal (where the New York Times reported the line of people waiting to get in stretched for five blocks) with Obama’s half-empty Ohio State kickoff event in May? —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
Does that mean The Blower won’t be reporting that we’re being bussed in to fill a 74,000-seat outdoor stadium to capacity when Obama accepts the DemocRAT nomination Thursday night? —Black Church Members from South Carolina
Does that mean The Blower won’t let us choose Ronald Reagan’s “Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the DemocRATS believe every day is April 15?” —Your Quote for today Committee
Does that mean The Blower won’t be using that free Obama bumper sticker we’re sending by putting it on the bumper of some RINO’s car? —Obama for America Finance Director Rufus Gifford
Does that mean The Blower won’t be reporting the number of people asking “Where are the jobs?” —Unemployed People at Monday’s Demo-Labor Party Union Day Picnic at Coney Island
Does that mean The Blower won’t suggest the Main Stream Media have their reporters label themselves as Democrat, Republican, and Independent the way we have our callers identify themselves? —C-Span
Does that mean The Blower won’t be asking how we were chosen to attend the Hags and Fags Convention in Charlotte? —Local DemocRAT Delegates
Does that mean The Blower won’t be pointing out that most people in Cincinnati were more interested in when Joey Votto would be returning to the lineup? —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
Does that mean with only “62” more days till the November Elections, The Blower won’t report that we only have nine more weeks to sell lying attack ads to Obama’s Liberal Super PACs to indoctrinate all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed short-attention-span news viewers. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen
Does that mean The Blower will be ignoring Dumbed Down DemocRAT delegates from Northern Kentucky, just because they’re stupid enough to believe Obama’s failed $787 Billion Stimulus Program was a big success? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Does that mean The Blower won’t be reporting when Trish the Dish asks when it’s Northern Kentucky’s turn to host the DemocRAT National Convention? —Channel 19 Short Attention Span News at 6:30 PM
That’s a trick question, isn’t it? — Channel 5, Sheree Paolello

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Dysfunctional DemocRAT Vice Presidential Selections to show that being a pompous gasbag is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a plagiarist with hair plugs.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Bombastic Joe Biden.

DISUNIFIED DEMOCRAT NATIONAL CONVENTION HOTLINE

e-mail your delegate debacles today.

Some Disgraced DemocRAT items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Disgraced DemocRAT subscribers.

Link of the Day

“We’ve Heard It All Before” (Extended Cut)

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.