Daily Archives: September 1, 2012

Special “Conventional Analysis” E-dition

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Romney to the Rescue

  • Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Thursday night concluded all that biased news coverage of the Republican National Convention in Tampa by Obama’s Supporters in the Press. Next week’s coverage of the DemocRAT National Convention in Charlotte will, of course, be fair-and-unbiased, when Disingenuous DemocRATS counter with Lesbians, Muslims, and a call for Free Condoms. No wonder Hillary plans to stay as far away from Charlotte as physically possible.
  • But those watching C-Span saw all of what really happened. A compassionate and capable Mitt Romney addressed fired-up delegates on the final night of the Republican convention, calling for “a better future” after the ‘disappointment and division’ under Obama. Romney said, “I wanted President Obama to succeed… I wanted America to succeed.”
  • Rising Republican Star Marco Rubio got in a few good whacks too, especially when the Freshman Florida Senator said, “Our problem is not that Obama is a bad man, he is a bad president.” That reminds us of last Saturday when Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall remembered when George Will said that two of greatest days in baseball were the day Frank Robinson was hired as the first black manager and the day he was fired for being a bad manager. The Blower says it’s now time for “America’s Second Great day.”
  • But Romney’s Money Quote Thursday night was “President Obama promised to slow the rise of the oceans, and to heal the planet. My promise is to help you and your family.” GAME, SET, MATCH ROMNEY! Could you believe all those adorable Romney grandchildren rushing on stage after the speech?
  • Obama “dismissed” Romney’s speech, but Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say Joe Biden’s whiny Thursday night e-mail groveled for another $5 donation before the all-important “August Deadline,” whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. One from Michelle came at 11:41 AM on Friday, and it was a pretty safe bet another one from Barack would be arriving before the end of the day.
  • And if you if you thought those Lunatic Liberals were all bent out of shape over Romney’s acceptance speech, you should’ve seen how they reacted after the iconic Clint Eastwood brought down the house when he fired up the crowd by interviewing an empty chair, he said was an invisible Obama. “We own this Country!” Eastwood said. “Politicians are employees of ours,” and “When somebody does not do the job, we’ve got to let him go.”
  • But just imagine how upset they would’ve been if the RNC had shown the Republican Party Animals’ (RPA) look back at the last four years, courtesy of some of Clint’s most memorable quotes.

  • Then there’s this parody of Clint’s endorsement of Mitt Romney called “The Unforsaken.”

  • Yesterday, just as The Blower exclusively predicted in our “Stories We’re Working On,” Mitt Romney toured storm-affected areas in New Orleans with Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and first responders while Obama was campaigning in Texas. The White House now says Obama now plans to visit Louisiana on Monday, after he gets done with his Labor Day campaigning in Toledo and Cleveland. The move by the Romney campaign was not only the right thing to do, but it was also a tactically brilliant upstaging of Obama, catching his Chicago campaign team flat-footed.
  • Here’s another prediction, which because by this time is no longer exclusive, since even The Fishwrap has it on Friday’s front page. Mitt Romney will be at Union Terminal for a Victory Rally at 10AM Saturday morning. There are only “65” more days until the 2012 Elections. What else did you expect?
  • Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1802, the “Richmond Recorder” published an article about Thomas Jefferson and his black slave mistress Sally Hemings. Maybe today would be a good time for CNN to re-run that report telling everybody about Super Racist Paul Ryan’s “Shartvse Sweetheart” in college.
  • Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he would be meeting with Mitt Romney this weekend. “Why do you think The Mittster’s flying in to Lunken Airport on Friday night?” Kane said. 

REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.

CONVENTIONAL ANALYSIS HOT LINE

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Link of the Day

Mitt Romney’s Acceptance Speech At The GOP Convention

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