Friday, July 27, 2012
Romney on Road
Presumptive Republican Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney began his a week-long trip to Britain, Israel, and Poland, to meet with leaders of some of America’s allies who’ve received some really shabby and offensive treatment from the Obama Administration. Amazingly, Romney hasn’t bowed to a single foreign leader yet.
How upset are Obama’s Supporters? An Olympic themed ad slams Romney at the Olympics. But how smart was it calling attention to one of Romney’s strengths— the 2002 Olympics. No wonder Obama Super PAC Priorities USA Action is taking this ad.
If Obama wants an Olympic Gold Medal, like his bogus Nobel Peace Prize, maybe he can retrieve Muhammad Ali’s that he threw into the Ohio River in the 1960s.
- Before leaving for Europe, NBC’s Brian Williams asked Romney if he planned to pick an incredibly boring white guy for VP, and Romney quipped, “You told me you were not available.” Meanwhile, with only “101” more days until the Presidential Elections, Obama is jetting around to campaign events on Air Force One making statements like, “Our union may not be perfect, but it is perfectible,” whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. No wonder Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says voters trust Romney more than Obama on the Economy 49%-43%.
The Twitter Olympics had hardly begun, and Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou was expelled for her Twitter posts commenting on African immigrants (“So many Africans in Greece at least West Nile mosquitoes will eat homemade food”) and expressing support for a far-right party. Voula will really be missed. Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says he’d like to triple jump her.- Back home, Liberals just can’t stop whining about Chick-Fil-A restaurants after the company’s president Dan Cathy stated his support for “traditional marriage” last week. Left-wing Lunatic Roseanne Barr even went postal when she wished everybody who at Chick-Fil-A got cancer.
Maybe that’s why Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception says, “How would you like to see this Chick Fil A’d?” For the location of the nearest Chick-Fil-A, CLICK HERE.
Now with some breaking news from “The Onion”: Chick-Fil-A will be debuting its New Homophobic Sandwich when its “Queer-Hatin” Cordon Bleu’ goes on sale.
- Our Clermont Crusader says that defamation lawsuit against former Clermont County Commissioner Archie Wilson has finally been settled. Terms of the settlement are not being disclosed and the parties “agreed to be bound by a confidentiality clause that has some punitive measures if it’s violated (especially to The Blower), especially the attorneys.
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says city leaders in Steubenville, have decided to change their official logo after the Freedom From Religion Foundation threatened to sue because the emblem included a silhouette of a cross atop the Franciscan University chapel. Maybe they could replace it with a new Chick-Fil-A location.- From the Great White North, at the ten-minute Clearcreek Township meeting in Warren County, Police officer Larry Cornett was assigned to guard the two trustees (one was missing in action). Officer Cornett weighs 350 lbs (the maximum weight limit in Ohio is 235 lbs if you’re 6 ft 5 in tall). He leaned up against the back wall fell fast asleep just like all the other overweight police officers here in Clearcreek Township do while on late shift duty. The police chief Terrill is in the same condition. When asked by one of the trustees to take the physical test to be a legal officer, he refused. Shouldn’t they have their guns taken away since they’re only a secondary police force? Maybe they should only be allowed to hand out warning tickets.
The Cincinnati City Mess (You only Read About in The Blower)
Cincinnati police chief James Craig knew before he was hired last summer the state of Ohio would require him to take the state peace officer exam to earn full police powers. Craig even signed his name to a state document on July 13, 2011, indicating he understood the state requirement. Now Craig says he “misunderstood” the meaning of that state document. Does Craig have a learning problem, too?
Bumbling city manager Dough Boy Honey was informed of the police chief test requirement by the state on July 11, 2011. Under a previous formal Freedom of Information request, the city did not include that July 11 document. City spokeshag Meg Olderding said the state document was, um, “overlooked.” Does Dough Boy Honey have an honesty problem, too?
Is the major reason behind Craig’s balking because he can’t pass the 200-question test, even though he’s had seven full time police supervisors tutoring him for months? Craig should take the test and stop the wimpy whining.
This weekend at Anderson Daze, the Anderson Township Republican Club will be sharing space (and hopefully expenses) with local and national campaigns to staff a booth at the 2012 Greater Anderson Days at Beech Acres Park. Disgraced Township Dis-Trustee Kevin O’Brien says he needs a ride home after the event, and he promises not to masturbate in your car.- Meanwhile, Angry Andersonians say there was nary a word about the Mad Masturbator in Wednesday’s edition of the “Forest Hills Urinal,” but Community Press Senior Editor Marc Emral gave himself a column to explain that this month, the cost of a voluntary monthly payment will be $3.50 (up from $2.50) for a kid to throw your FHU in the bushes every Wednesday, Thursday, or whenever he gets around to it.
- Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1953, an armistice was signed, bringing the Korean War to an end, and Defeatist DemocRATS in Congress began demanding an immediate withdrawal of all American troops from the Korean peninsula. How’d that ever work out anyway?
Northern Kentucky Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Congressman Goof Doofus has released a new graphic to help visualize the massive amount of regulations and government red tape facing businesses. The Republican-led House on Thursday passed legislation that would freeze major government regulations until the unemployment rate, now at 8.2%, drops to 6% or below. Hey Goofster, nice artwork—but how could we tell if it’s wrong?
Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane who the thought was really behind that Chick-Fil-A controversy, where all those Liberal Whackos are trying to put that great chicken sandwich restaurant out of business.
“My best guess,” Kane explained, “It’s the chickens.”
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
Stories We’re Working On
Obama Assault Ban Talk a Dem Dud- Romney questions if Brits are ready for Olympics
- New African-American Education Office an oxymoron
- Meatless Mondays to Fight Global Warming
- Price Hike at The Fishwrap
- Southgate House to reopen in Northgate
- Lesbians plan kissing protest at Chick Fil A in Florence
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said most people won’t be watching the 2012 Olympics in London:
(A) Too cold for women’s beach volleyball bikinis: 2%
(B) Can’t understand the language: 1%
(C) Reds have won seven straight: 1%
(D) Not enough coverage on TV: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Successful Submissions
This week, everybody who thinks Obama really stepped in it when he said “If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen,” e-mailed entries to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Marty Mocker, who says he really likes watching the way the Romney Campaign pummels Obama every time he goes off his teleprompter and off his teleprompter at the same time.
Marty wins, a women’s beach volleyball (in bikinis) video, a politically incorrect tweet from Voula Papachristou, and front row seats at the Chick-Fil-A in Florence for the upcoming Lesbian kissing protest. His winning Limerick is:
Here’s who to thank when you succeed:
You can skip over those with a leftist creed;
And don’t count those who always sleep late,
Or those who sit in cars and masturbate.
“Early to bed and early to rise” is the only rule you need.
So who can you thank when you succeed?
Don’t listen to those liberal hearts that bleed,
Forget presidents from Kenya,
And government handouts that demean ya.
Thank the Lord Almighty; of Him only take heed.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who says, “The Government didn’t help me write this!”)
Here’s who to thank when you succeed
It’s the Kenyan we elected to lead
If you succeed here or in Japan
Somebody else made that happen
(I think that socialist has been smoking weed)
The Dems are seriously vexed
Claiming Barak was taken out of context
But he said what he said
They should get that through their head
What kind of lies will they try to sell next?
I guess Henry Ford did nothing on his own
And Bell had help inventing the phone
Bill Gates was a fake
Betty Crocker didn’t bake
Obama’s ideology makes me groan.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“How about a political Olympics event?”
CONSERVATIVE COUNTERATTACK HOT LINE
E-mail your Republican Responses today
Some political strategy items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political strategic subscribers.
Link of the Day
Romney Web Ad Rips Obama’s “It Worked” Remark
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.