Monday, July 16, 2012
If It’s Monday, It Must Be Cincinnati
Yesterday at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane why Obama was coming to Cincinnati for just another campaign event today. “He has to be someplace,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained, “and Obama’s been campaigning for re-election every day since his Inauguration and with over-taxed payers picking up the $179,750-per-hour tab for Air Force One (which is so convenient for making illegal fund-raising calls), it was just probably our turn again. At least there’s no pretense that Monday’s over-taxed payer funded trip is anything more than a campaign event. And maybe just a little fund-raiser!
Kane said, “It will be interesting to see if John Boehner blasts Obama for misusing over-taxed payers’ fund one more time.”
Not to worry, says Obama’s White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard, “Over-taxed payers don’t pay for Obama’s campaign travel. No kidding!”
- “Is Monday a special occasion?” Freddy Factchecker asked.
Maybe Obama’s coming to Cincinnati to celebrate because Americans for Tax Reform Foundation and the Cost of Government Center calculated that Sunday was “Cost of Government Day,” when the average American earned enough gross income to pay off his or her share of the spending and regulatory burdens imposed by government at the federal, state, and local levels?
“Not a chance,” Kane said. “If Obama had his way, ‘Cost of Government Day’ would be on when the ball was starting to drop on New Year’s Eve.”
- “Wasn’t Obama just here?” Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus asked.
“It just seems that way,” Kane said. “Actually Obama was in Cincinnati to deliver his Historic Bridge Too Far Campaign Speech last September. Remember when Obama was pushing his “shovel ready jobs” with the Brent Spence Bridge in the background?” Obama should’ve have borrowed “the world will little note, nor long remember what we say here” from Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, because it almost seemed as if we were listening to Jimmy Carter again.
Because even Gary Girder understood there’ll be no new bridge. Do you think he read it in The Fishwrap? After listening to Obama’s speech, our unemployed member or the Amalgamated Union of Bridge Builders figured out there would be no new jobs, so on the way home from the speech, he jumped off the bridge and tried to kill himself. Does anybody recall if Channel 19 pre-empted Bill Cunningham’s new TV show during Obama’s speech? Does anybody care?
- “Why do you think they picked Music Hall for Monday’s Just Another Obama Campaign Event in Cincinnati?” our City Hall Snitch asked.
“Why not?” Kane replied, “It’s just another good reason to sell that place. And it’s right on the streetcar route, too. Maybe they could have a Trolley Folly Rally and bash Steve Chabothead while they’re at it.”
Plus, Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory and the rest of those Obama suck-ups at City Hall attending the event would never ask Obama’s Billion Dollar Re-Election Campaign to reimburse the City for additional police and fire safety services during his Monday campaign event, even if fiscally responsible Community leaders might actually believe Obama’s campaign costs should not be borne by local over-taxed payers. Maybe $tan Che$ley could pick up that bill, just like that donor did when Durham, New Hampshire asked the Obama campaign to foot the up-to-$30,000 bill for the Obama’s campaign stop in their city in June.
- “What kind of people will be showing up for Just Another Obama Campaign Event in Cincinnati?” said CH Snitch from 1000 Main Street.
“Just the usual suspects,” Kane said. “You’ll see City Hall Slackers, Union Goons, people looking for more free stuff from the government, and a lot of black people too— folks who can attend while the rest of us are working.”
Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose said on Friday, Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House were spam-gramming their local e-mail list, trying to get people to show up downtown on Monday at Music Hall for just another Obama campaign appearance. Tickets to the event were free, as long as you could afford gas to drive to one of those conveniently located Obama Campaign offices in Cheviot, Walnut Hills, or Forest Park to pick them up.
- What kind of things do you think Obama will be saying at Monday’s Just Another Obama Campaign Event in Cincinnati?” said Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders.
“Obama’s spent $100 million for lying attack ads about Romney in Battle Ground States like Ohio,” Kane made clear, “so even if Obama is now calling for a ‘Highbrow Debate on the Issues,’ you probably won’t be hearing him apologize.”
He’ll probably say, “Remember all those lofty promises I made in 2008? I totally kept them all,” just like he did in Virginia this week. And since Obama’s totally oblivious to the damage he has brought our country, he will make another breathtaking promise on the stump like, “We’re going to put this country on the right track.” And all those Dumbed-down Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Short-Attention-Span Obama Supporters will applaud and cheer, just like they always do.
Hurley the Historian added, “On Monday’s date in 1999 JFK Jr. was killed in a plane crash and I’m surprised our Kneepad Liberals in the Press haven’t found a way to work that Dead Kennedy into an endorsement for Obama today.”
- How will the Romney campaign be countering Monday’s Just Another Obama Campaign Event in Cincinnati?” asked Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo.
“Real Republicans are wondering if the Romney campaign would allow Obama’s Campaign Event in Cincinnati go unchallenged,” Kane said, remembering how last week in Northern Ohio, Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign featured Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty aboard the Romney bus in Maumee, Parma, and the Mahoning Valley, one step ahead of Obama, whose own “Betting on America” bus tour was scheduled to hit those same three areas.
That’s why our Quote for the Day Committee chose Obama’s CBS “Sunday Morning” quote: “If I were Romney I’d attack my handling of the economy as well.”
And this week the Hamilton County RINO Party was actually seeking recruits for Romney’s “Rapid Response Regiment,” because every battle-ready team must be able to respond quickly to a changing environment. And wasn’t it nice that the Obama campaign is already offering them an opportunity to respond rapidly before Monday’s Just Another Obama Campaign Event at Music Hall? At least we should see Romney’s Campaign Bus circling the block!
Our Cynical Conservative said: Alex T., Mall Cop GOP’s Hamilton County RINO, led by a former John Kerry operative and advocate for illegal immigration, with a finance director who is well-known for talking down to volunteers and activists, and the Romney campaign, staffed by clueless trust-funders who got their jobs because of their parents’ Rolodexes, might get around to trying to counter Obama’s visit. Unless there is bad weather, and they won’t want to go out in rain. Unless there is good weather, in which case they’ll be on the golf course. Unless there is a sale at Macy’s in which case it’s time to upgrade the wardrobe.- “Maybe the Cincinnati Tea Party could organize a little 1 PM Rally Against the Outsourcer in Chief on Fountain Square just to make things interesting,” Kane concluded, that’s if they could stop fantasizing that Ron Paul’s people will make credential challenges at the Republican Convention in Tampa to make him the nominee and if other Tea Partiers can forgive the local Tea Party “leadership” that sold out to Alex T. in exchange for their Messiah being crowned State Rep-Tile.
Our Tea Party Patriots could even explain the Obama Campaign’s Top Ten Lies & Exaggerations. Romney’s VP Wannabe Rob “Fighting for Face Time” Portman and Steve Chabothead could even open another Romney Victory Center. Over at Channel 5, Sheree Paolello says, “Don’t worry if you can get there, because we plan broadcast it live.” With only “112” more days until the Presidential Elections, what could be better than that!
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