Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

• If Disingenuous DemocRATS think the Obama All Stars had just another bad week leading up to the All Star Break,” think how bad it’ll be for the next “118” more days until the 2012 Presidential Elections. —Political Scorekeepers
• The president didn’t really call his Individual Mandate a “Tax” when he spoke to that silly little blonde TV reporter from Channel 5 in Cincinnati. —Obama’s $172,000 Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
• Make a $3 donation and you’ll automatically be entered in a lottery to win a free cup of coffee with me. —Joe Biden
• Should we really vote for Obama just because he says he “tried real hard” to make things better? —Dumbed-down Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Short-Attention-Span Americans
• Did Obama really admit his so-called Buffet Rule is bogus, because he now says secretaries really pay a lower tax rate than their millionaire bosses? —Nancy Pelosi
• I’m really happy about Obama’s job creation record. —DemocRAT Nation Committee Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz
• Romney must release his secret files because nobody knows if he’s breaking any law. —Obama’s campaign adviser “Baghdad Bob” Gibbs
• Did anybody hear me say the Tea Party is out to get black people? —Obama’s Spiritual Adviser Jeremiah Wright
• No wonder two-thirds of likely voters say Obama has kept his 2008 campaign promise to change America, but it’s changed for the worse. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
• Speaking of All Stars, isn’t it a coincidence that unemployment dropped in all 17 states that elected a Republican governor in 2010? —Ohio GOP Governor John Kasich
• Please don’t mention the guy who introduced Obama at that rally on Friday had been ordered to pay $500,000 to his former employer in 2009 after a judge ruled in that he had stolen trade secrets. —Dishonest DemocRATS
• But at his speech in Sandusky, Obama only used the words “I” or Me” every 13.09 seconds.
• Will newspapers still be making me an All Star if Romney doesn’t pick me as his running mate? —Rob “Fighting for Free Publicity” Portman
• Tonight at the All Star Sharonville Convention Center event, I’ll gladly explain my high school yearbook picture of me in drag that showed up in The Blower last Thursday. —Josh Mandel
• I rarely have the class to thank those who help me, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank Republicans for Higher Taxes for calling me the Howard Dean of the Republican Party, and for naming my All Star squealing outside the Supreme Court building as The Jean Schmidt Dean Scream. —Mean Jean Schmidt
• Will they be showing players scratching their balls tonight during the All Star Game? —Anderson Township Masturbating Trustee Kevin O’Brien
• On this date in 1925, the Scopes Monkey Trial began in Dayton, Tennessee, where high school teacher John Scopes was being tried for teaching “evolution” in violation of state law, and to celebrate the occasion, at the Creation Museum today, anybody by the name of Scopes will be allowed to enter free. —Hurley the Historian
• That’s why we chose William Jennings Bryan’s: “All the ills from which America suffers can be traced to the teaching of evolution.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
• How many more days are there until Bastille Day? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
• Has everybody forgotten that on Saturday’s date in 1789, people in France got a holiday when revolutionaries stormed the Bastille? — Pierre Leach
• Is America’s boycott on French products still in effect? —Goof Doofus
• Saturday’s also the day the CamBoozler always used to join me at what one of our favorite fine-dining establishments in Northern Kentucky, Chez Bastille, located at 303 Court Street in Covington. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
• The food was so good, it wasn’t surprising Chez Bastille was so hard to get into. —Whistleblower Food Critic Martin Upchuck
• We understand Chez Bastille has a great wine list. —Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
• Was that Chez Bastille restaurant approved by Weight Gainers? —Marc Wilson and Scott Pass “The Biscuits” Kimmich
• Folks who used to eat there all the time say, “Once you were there, you probably would’ve found it even more difficult to leave.” —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders
• Do you know any young men who’d like to learn French? —Vanilla Hills MILFs
• The word “Bikini” is French, isn’t it? —Miss Vicki
• Does anybody know the second line of “The French they are a funny race…?” —Horny in Hebron
• On what date should they celebrate Bastille Day in Kentucky? —Trish the Dish at Channel 19 News
• Sheree Paolello wondered about that too. —Jack Atherton

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Francophobia to show that French bashing is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a French Hater.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially people who think French fries are a great example of French cooking.

FRENCH CUISINE HOT LINE

e-mail your romantic recipes today.

Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers, like this picture showing how Pierre Leach likes Madame Leach to dress today.

Link of the Day

A French Lesson (with dirty jokes)

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here