Friday, July 6, 2012
More Hot Air
- Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says the heat wave came to Ohio yesterday when we saw dueling bus tours in the northern part of the state. Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign featured Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty aboard the Romney bus in Maumee, Parma, and the Mahoning Valley, one step ahead of Obama, whose own “Betting on America” bus tour was scheduled to hit those same three areas.
Do you think anybody will be asking Obama about that lawsuit Ohio private investigator Susan Daniels filed on Monday, July 2, in Geauga County (Ohio) Common Pleas Court demanding that Jon Husted, Ohio secretary of state, remove Obama’s name from the ballot until Obama can prove the validity of his Social Security Number?
And a new ad from the Republican National Committee was another warm greeting for Obama. Watching the Romney campaign is going to be a lot of fun, like when the Marine Corps Band played Romney’s Campaign Song on the White House Lawn while Obama greeted guests.
Hurley the Historian says President George W. Bush was born on this date 66 years ago in 1946, and today the RNC (RINO National Committee) says the best way for the nation to show how much they really miss him would be for every person in America to send them $66.
Just in case some of those GOP Representatives are beginning to cool off, our Anderson Tea Party Patriots have some fiery reminders for John Boehner and Republicans in Congress prior to next week’s ObamaTax Repeal Vote in the House.- Rob “Fighting for Fahrenheit” Portman was full of hot air when he said he was glad the World Choir Games were taking place in Cincinnati.
Ohio U.S. Senate Candidate Josh Mandel is turning up the heat on his opponent at the Country Inn in Georgetown on Thursday on his own a two-day swing through southern and eastern Ohio, but will anyone recognize his high school yearbook picture in yesterday’s Blower?
Somebody else who’s feeling the heat these days is Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien. Kevin was arrested for masturbating in a woman’s car. You should’ve heard some of the jokes WLW Hate Radio’s Darrell Parks was telling on the radio about the Old Masturbator before the Fourth of July Parade in Anderson. One place Whacky Jackie’s Illegitimate Son didn’t feel the heat was in the Forest Hills Urinal. His enablers there covered up that story completely, one more time.
Federal Judge Mike Barrett says he’ll have to recuse himself from hearing Kevin’s landmark masturbation case, but he did say he’d not refuse to be called as an expert witness.
“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman says Anderson Trustees should burn State Rep-Tile Peter Stautberg at the stake for helping keep Kevin in office.
- Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather says the Reds’ bats should be used for kindling, with all those runners left on base these days, especially since the team’s current slump is really jeopardizing Dusty’s leverage in talks about a contract extension.
- Republicans for Higher Taxes turned up the heat on Congressman Steve Chabothead for his amendment prohibiting federal funds for the Cincinnati streetcar. They believe only Cincinnati residents can comment on the streetcar, but that everyone should be required to pay for it. One Cincinnatian not happy with Chabot’s action is long-time streetcar supporter Sean Donovan.
In Cincinnati, SMLP Smithermouth and 55KRC’s Brian Thomas say Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin’ was just blowing smoke when she pretended to oppose higher property taxes.
Uncertified Cincinnati police chief James Craig is all hot and bothered about another scheduled hearing before the Ohio police certification board on July 19. Craig weaseled out of the first two hearings where he planned to make demands to be exempted from the basic State police certification exam just because he’s James Craig. What do you want to bet Craig will weasel out of this third hearing this month?- Craig seems to be afraid to take this basic test, even though he has seven full time police supervisor tutors helping him with the answers each day. California legal resident Craig is just too stupid to pass the test, so he demands to be exempted. Maybe Phoenix can help him pass the test.
CCV Action is trying to light a fire under Independent and Undecided Voters. Hello, folks, don’t you realize there are only “122” more days until Election Day?- Americans for Prosperity needs to light a fire under its board and chose a new state director for Ohio. Time’s a wastin’!
- Our Compassionate Conservative says if any person or charity donates a fan or air-conditioner to a poor person during the Summer Heat Wave, the donor should first write on it with a big black permanent marker: “FREE FAN – A GIFT TO THE POOR- NOT FOR Re-SALE!”
Our Quote for Today Committee chose Kin Hubbard’s “Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.”- Our Branch Norwoodian is all burned up because the City of Norwood is now five months delinquent in reimbursing City retirees, their widows, and dependents for pension and medical payments. A Judge affirmed the City must make monthly payments per collective bargaining agreements However, nothing has been paid since February. Payments are owed for March, April, May, June, and July. Phone calls to the Mayor and Director of Safety-Service go unreturned.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says these days in Northern Kentucky, you shouldn’t forget to wear your deodorant. And our Good Friend Bobby Leach says, a crowded elevator must really smell great to a midget.- Something else that burned our ass was seeing those phony patriot e-mails from elected officials wishing people Happy Independence Day on Wednesday, especially when they missed how long ago the Declaration of Independence had been signed. Even Trish the Dish knew Wednesday was the 236th anniversary. On the other hand, whoever wrote “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s press release, said we were celebrating our “235 year tradition of freedom and liberty.” Dysfunctional DemocRAT Senator Sherrod Brown’s over-taxed payer funded constituent e-mail said “two hundred and thirty-seven years ago, farmers, merchants, laborers, and soldiers celebrated a new nation.” What the heck—they’re both close enough for government work!
Finally, at yesterday’s bribe lunch, the hot topic was when a Conservative Consultant asked Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to compare “Taxation without Representation” in 1776 with the situation today. “That’s easy,” Kane explained. “Today with Obama and Congress all you get is Taxation with Misrepresentation.”
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
Stories We’re Working On
Yes, Virginia, It’s a Tax- If It Walks Like a Tax and Quacks Like a Tax
- Can We Repeal Justice Roberts?
- Romney Sets GOP Fundraising Record
- Obama Dissed During Speech
- Heat Wave Expected to Bake Kentucky
- Wife Cheaters in Vanilla Hills
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said most Apathetic Americans would be spending the Fourth of July holiday:
(A) Celebrating our Nation’s History: 2%
(B) Watching a patriotic parade: 1%
(C) Enjoying Fireworks and family picnics: 1%
(D) Getting another day off with pay: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Fourth of July Heroes
This week, everybody who thinks patriotism is truly passé e-mailed entries to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest. The winner is real war hero Ollie Hackworth, one of the survivors of that “Three Against a Thousand Massacre” saga The Blower described last year.
Ollie wins an autographed picture of Sergeant York, a complete set of Audie Murphy westerns on DVD, and a free dinner on Veterans Day at Dummy’s Restaurant. His winning entry is:
When we celebrate the Fourth of July
With all this heat, we’ll probably fry.
But that heat’s tepid compared to what will stress
George Soros and his slick buttboy P-O-T-U-S,
When they arrive at the gates of hell
After thinking their lives were so swell:
Their “administration” is just one big lie.
When we celebrate the Fourth of July
Let’s pause to ask ourselves why
We elected a president
Born a non-US resident,
And his incompetence just makes me cry.
When we celebrate the Fourth of July
It will be very hard not to cry,
The folks we’ve elected
Just can’t be respected
Lions and tigers and skunks, oh my!
And from the Anderson Laureate (who says, “Obama’s idea of patriotism is really great.)
When we celebrate the Fourth of July
What some people did makes me cry;
They gave up their lives
And our freedom now thrives
Because they were brave enough to die
But we also have plenty of tyrants,
Community organizers and half-breed Hawaiians
All they want is power
And they get more by the hour
I’d like to feed them all to the lions.
Because of real heroes, those phonies survive
Because others have died, they’re still alive
But they don’t give a damn
Their uncle’s not Sam
All they know how to do is to shuck, and to jive
Because great Americans have died
They can take our country for a ride
The current White House resident
Doesn’t deserve to be president
When he promised good things, he lied.
If a contest were held to select
The most egotistical person to elect
It would be a no-brainer
Because there is no one more vainer
If he wins in November, we’re wrecked.
I get so sick of watching him talk
And the arrogant style of his walk
He’s so full of his ego,
Let’s vote him out, amigo
And listen to the Dumbocrats squawk.
When we celebrate the Fourth of July
Remember Jeremiah Wright’s cry,
“God damn America” he said
Barack was in the same bed
He’ll tell you he didn’t hear that, but it’s a lie.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Kevin O’Brien, Anderson’s Masturbating Trustee”
HEAT ALERT HOT LINE
E-mail your cooling tips today
Some over-heated items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally over-heated subscribers.
Link of the Day
Obama’s Middle Class Promise Gap
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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