Daily Archives: July 3, 2012

Another “Bad Week for Obama” E-dition

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

  • If Disingenuous DemocRATS think it’s bad to people to call their Unaffordable Health Care Legislation “ObamaCare,” think how bad it’ll be for them to hear it called a “Tax” for the next only “125” more days until the 2012 Presidential Elections. —Political Scorekeepers
  • In Monday’s E-dition, The Blower just had to find out what all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, short-attention-span ordinary people thought about last Thursday’s Supreme Court decision that labeled Obama’s Orwellian-named “Affordable Health Care” a “Tax” which House Republicans plan to vote to repeal on July 11. —Whistleblower Focus Groupies
  • The Supreme Court has ruled, and there’s only one way ObamaTax can be overturned. The same way it was passed — by electing a new president and a new Congress. Voters will have the final say on the Health Care Law, and it’s time for them to get up off their fat apathies and cast ballots not only for Romney, but in every congressional race.—Republican Bloggers
  • All the Supreme Court has done in upholding Obama’s Destruction of Medical Care in America is to give another 100 million people justification to despise him and all he stands for. —Compassionate Conservatives
  • Besides getting a dead cat bounce in the polls after the Supreme Court ruled Obama’s Health Care Debacle is a “Tax,” Liberals still can’t stop whining about that Harvard University study which finds that July 4th parades energize only Republicans, turn kids into Republicans, and help to boost the GOP turnout of adults on Election Day. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
  • When Michelle compared Obama to “Biblical Figures” at AME Church conference in Nashville, is this what she meant? —Edward Cropper

  • Did you see former Ohio Gayvenor Ted Strickland standing behind Hillary when she says “Shame on you, Obama, for spending millions of dollars telling lies” in Romney’s TV ad? —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
  • After only 33 fund-raisers in June (eight times more than George Bush held), Obama is taking some well-deserved time out from the White House, spending the first part of July 4th week at Camp David. —White House $172,000 Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
  • Meanwhile, we’re hosting a big event in Paris on Independence Day. How patriotic is that? —Obama Campaign Fund-Raisers
  • Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1863, Confederate General Robert E. Lee’s last attempt to break the Union line at Gettysburg ended in disastrous failure, bringing the most decisive battle of the American civil War to an end.
  • That’s why we chose Robert E. Lee’s: “It is good that war is so horrible, or we might grow to like it.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
  • We told you Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien would be arrested on three counts of “Public Indecency-Exposure” for masturbating in a Wellborn woman’s car. The Hamilton County case number is C12CRB20460. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel
  • The reason Kevin didn’t call me to defend him is because I’m still suspended in Ohio. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
  • We already have Kevin scheduled for a “Penis Line-up” on Thursday. —“Crazy Eric’s” Cousin, “Jaywalking Joe” Deters
  • As long ago as December 30, 2009, I’m on record for saying “Kevin O’Brien Should Resign Immediately as Anderson Township Trustee.” —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
  • For two years Angry Andersonians have pleaded with State Rep-tile Peter Stautberg to introduce legislation to allow them to recall Kevin O’Brien. Stautberg has steadfastly refused to help them. He had no problem introducing special legislation to allow Terrace Park to sneak a tax levy through in a December vote. So why does he continue to protect Kevin O’Brien? Not only is Stautberg NOT helping to get him out, he is also refusing to call for his resignation. —“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman
  • It’ll really be worth more money each week to receive our worthless rag when you see how we bury this story. —Kevin’s Enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal
  • Jail’s not so bad, you can pull your pud all you want and nobody complains. —Whacky Jackie Illegitimate Son Kevin
  • Tomorrow is Independence Day, or as Liberals would say, the 236th anniversary of the birth of an unexceptional country. —Newsbusted’s Jody Miller
  • One in four Americans doesn’t even know who their forefathers declared independence from. While 76% correctly said Great Britain, 19% were unsure, and 5% mentioned another country. —Tea Party Poster Dave HatterThere’s no need for Scorn on the Fourth of July, here’s what really makes America great: It’s not baseball, mom, or apple pie. It’s our diversity. No kidding! —Our Foolish Fishwrappers
  • Fireworks displays during a smog alert are extra healthy for people with emphysema. —Obama’s EPA
  • Sunday we showed “1776” on the Turner Classic Movie station. But usually on the Fourth of July we show “White Christmas” and “The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.” —Warner Cable
  • How patriotic was our “Freedom Commercial?” —Dodge Challenger
  • All the City’s problems are under control, so we’ll be off until after Labor Day. —Our Nine Fine Clowns at the City Hall Circus
  • I proved what we all suspected: that Laure “No So” Cleanlivin’ was just blowing smoke when she pretended to oppose higher property taxes. —SMLP Smithermouth
  • How many more days are there until Bastille Day? —Pierre Leach
  • How many times does 59 go into 26? Not even once without Viagra. —Bob Mecklenborg
  • How much would The Whistleblower pay for an exclusive interview? —Tonia Roberts
  • Sunday’s political column (“GOP hopefuls nervously eye Ohio”) shows just how impossible it is to come up with decent material once a week. —Huggable Howard Wilkinson
  • Did everybody get home all right after The Blower’s Fourth of July Celebration? — Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
  • If you want to arrive home safe on the fourth, don’t drink a fifth on the third. —MADD Mothers
  • Who cares if only three Cincinnati Reds made the All Star team? Now everybody’s wondering if on the Fourth of July, Dusty’s boys will still be in first place. —Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather
  • Screw all those patriotic Fourth of July Parades. — Lame-Duck, Corrupt Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Junketing Jean Schmidt
  • At tomorrow’s Fourth of July Parade in Anderson, you can still drop off your dry cleaning at my new Cleaner Concepts store, right behind the reviewing stand. —Anderson Tea Partier Andy Pappas
  • Too bad you missed the Gay Day Parade in Downtown Cincinnati last weekend. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
  • Fourth of July Day Parades would be a whole lot shorter in Northern Kentucky if they banned Pandering Politicians. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
  • You can’t believe what a thrill it is to know that our country’s Independence Day holiday was named for our fair city. —Independence, Kentucky Mayor Chris Moriconi
  • On Thursday’s date in 1946, French designer Louis Reard unveiled a daring two-piece swimsuit which came to be known as the “bikini,” and guys ogling Miss Vicki on the Fourth of July at the at the Ft. Mitchell Country Club swimming pool will be damn glad he did. —Hurley the Historian
  • Do you remember when I said “A man will go to war, fight and die for his country, but he won’t get a bikini wax?” — Rita Rudner
  • We’ll drink to that. —Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
  • We forgot to jack up our prices enough for the Fourth of July. —Northern Kentucky Gas Gougers
  • Ironically, this year not a single person escaped on Independence Day. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
  • Why doesn’t Y’All Ville have a hot dog eating contest on the Fourth of July? —Weight Gainers Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich
  • How come nobody in Northern Kentucky invited me to be in their parade? —Governor Steve Beshear
  • Did everybody get home from the big race last weekend? —Kentucky Speedway
  • Do you want to know why all the guys will be eating so much watermelon at their Fourth of July cookouts tomorrow? We think it’s because they read all those reports that said watermelon has effects similar to Viagra— so they can keep their Fourth of July fireworks going all night long. That’s why I went out and bought a whole truckload of watermelons. —Blackjack Brian Richmond
  • It’s a lie. Watermelons don’t work as well as Viagra, and we ought to know. —Up Tight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell who fake their orgasms
  • Trish “The Dish” wants to know what happened to the Fourth of July weekend this year. —Channel 19 News
  • Sheree Paolello says “Some blondes really say dumb stuff.” —Jack Atherton

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

           The Blower makes fun of phony patriotism to show pandering politicians are not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t the most embarrassing elected official in Southwestern Ohio history (including Jerry Springer).

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Portman’s Protégé. So it’s not our fault!

FLAG ETIQUETTE HOT LINE

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Some flag-waving items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally flag-waving subscribers.

Link of the Day

The Whistleblower’s Really Patriotic Fourth of July Video

PLUS

Independence Day Quiz

Marine Corps Silent Drill Platoon

We always enjoy watching this movie on the Fourth of July

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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