Monday, July 2, 2012
What Ordinary Americans Think About Repealing the ObamaTax
Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen reports only 30% of Likely U.S. Voters say America is better off today than it was four years ago. That doesn’t sound very optimistic, does it?
That’s why The Whistleblower rounded up some of our usual suspects. We found them praying for jobs at a candle-light vigil around the Peace Pole in Anderson Township Saturday evening.
We just had to find out what all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, short-attention-span ordinary people about Thursday’s Supreme Court decision that labeled Obama’s Orwellian-named “Affordable Health Care” a “Tax” which House Republicans plan to vote to repeal on July 11.
- Mama Maruska, Retired Homemaker: Things have gotten so bad, my children are out of work. They’ve all moved back home with me along with the grandchildren, and at least with the ObamaTax, they’ll all be covered under the government-approved insurance policy I’ll be forced to buy.
Porky Dorkman, Student: My teacher (who belongs to an exempted union) said everybody in the class has to go home and tell our parents to call their Republican Members of Congress and tell them to support the DemocRAT’s ObamaTax even if nobody ever read it to find out what was in it, since it would only cost people who don’t belong to public unions $2 Trillion over the next ten years.
Marlene Mandible, Totally Unemployable: I hope House Speaker John Boehner and those Republicans in Congress forget about scheduling their vote to repeal the ObamaTax next Wednesday. Ladies on “The View” said DemocRAT Senate Leader Harry Reid will be forced to shut down the government right before Election Day.
Norma Rashid, Former TV5 Anchorwoman: If Republican in Congress would only forget about repealing the ObamaTax, I could just sit home alone waiting for you-know-who to call, except every time the phone rings it’s just another recorded message from Michelle telling me not to forget to vote for Obama, now in only “126” more days.
Linda Libel, Gossip Columnist: If Republicans in Congress would only forget about repealing the ObamaTax, maybe The Blower would find more space to publish some of my salacious scandals like the one about that Anderson Township Trustee who’s been accused of masturbating in a Wellborn woman’s car after she gave him a ride home from a party.
Jack Mehoff, Used Solar Panel Salesman: Republicans in Congress need to forget about repealing the ObamaTax next Wednesday and raising all that money to defeat Obama in November. Don’t they realize when the Supreme Court upheld the ObamaTax last Thursday, they gave another 100 million people another reason to loved Obama and all he stands for?
Suzie Soccermom, Tea Partier: When Republicans in Congress vote to repeal the ObamaTax next week, it will be a rallying cry for Tea Party Conservatives all across the country. No wonder Sarah Palin said, “Congress has the ability to create taxes – and also has the ability to rescind them. Upon their return from the July recess, Congress should act immediately to repeal this terrible ObamaTax on the American people.
Reverum Calhoun, Minister: If Michelle can campaign illegally in churches, does that mean the IRS won’t go after my non-profit exemption when I tell my congregation to call Republicans in Congress and urge them not to vote to repeal the ObamaTax next week, at the same time they call them all racists for voting to hold Obama’s Amazing Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt.
Emily Frump, Retired City Employee: Now that our New Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil is on summer break, will anybody be working to make sure city employees are not required to pay the ObamaTax along with government employees and stop wasting millions of dollars on our Girly Mayor Mark Mallory’s Trolley Folly and his relatives so they can open doomed soul food restaurants.
Bunky Tadwell, The Bard of Cleves: How’s this for my poem today?
The Supreme Court made a ruling,
A ruling that I dreaded.
Obama has won the day
The Constitution now is shredded.
Seedy Diehl, Northern Kentucky Homeless Guy: Now that everybody’s forgotten about Obama’s Historic “Bridge Too Far” Campaign Speech in Cincinnati that won’t result in any new bridges being built because money for the Brent Spence Bridge wasn’t even included in the Federal Budget, is it all right if I return to my refrigerator box at the hobo camp and let all you over-taxed payers pay my Medicare expenses under the ObamaTax provisions.
CH Snitch, 1000 Main Street: This weekend, the Hamilton County RINO Party says all party hacks are gladly volunteering to walk door-to-door campaigning for Mitt Romney, Josh Mandel, Steve Chabothead, and “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, because the only way America will be able to repeal the ObamaTax is by winning the presidency and both Houses of Congress in November.
Sid Schlock, Slumlord: If Republicans in Congress would only forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” some of those deadbeats on welfare who live in my run-down property might even be able to afford to pay the rent and I can wangle myself a seat on the CMHA Board.
Ken CamBoo, Northern Kentucky Journalist: Bluegrass Congressman Goof Doofus says he’ll be voting to repeal the ObamaTax next week, because the Supreme Court’s decision does not change the underlying truths of the President’s health care law. The law has neither reduced costs nor improved choice or care available to Americans. It punishes Americans who do not obtain “acceptable” health insurance and penalizes employers that do not offer it.
Tea Party Tim: If Republicans in Congress forget about their “Path to Prosperity,” we’ll surely be including it with our Demands for a Balanced Budget at our big April 15 Tax Day 2012 rally on Fountain Square, where we’ll kicking off the march to November.
Earl Pitts, Taxidermist: If Republicans in Congress plan to vote to repeal the ObamaTax next week, will “Junketing Jean” Schmidt once again be cheering for the Supreme Court ruling like she was when PMSNBC caught Southwest Ohio’s most embarrassing elected official in history (included Jerry Springer)?
Ed Norton, Currently Furloughed Northern Kentucky Sewer Worker: If Republicans in Congress forget about voting to repeal the ObamaTax next week, will Obama’s top advisors still be saying, “it’s not a tax” because Nancy Pelosi says calling Obamacare a “Tax” is just “Washington Talk” that Americans don’t really care much about?
REAL AMERICANS HOT LINE
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