Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

With only “132” more days until the 2012 Presidential Elections, this be our worst week yet for the Obama Regime. —Political Scorekeepers
Monday in a big defeat for Obama, the Supreme Court ruled it would still be OK to for us to check the immigration status of anyone we suspect to be in the country illegally.—Arizona Police Officers
Conservatives on SCOTUS also rejected limits corporate campaign spending limits. —Bundlers for Romney
And don’t forget last week when the Supremes said we had to give our members notice and the ability to opt out of proposed dues increases to be used to pay for DemocRAT election ads. —Union Goons
Our Death Panel is waiting to rule on Obamacare later on Thursday. We’re just trying to build up a little suspense. —Conservative Justices on The Supreme Court
Would Wednesday be a good day for House Republicans to vote to hold Obama’s Arrogant Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt? —John Boehner
Did everybody see how I ripped Obama’s use of “Executive Privilege?” —Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart
Wait till you see the results of polls that ask if Holder-Gate is worse than Watergate. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
Did anybody think these scandals might just be a preview of what Obama’s second term would be like if dumbed down voters were stupid enough to give him one? —Nostradamus Tadwell
The reason I cancelled Monday’s just-another-campaign-stop in Hamilton was because I was afraid they’d ask us to pay like that town did in New Hampshire, and not because only 25 people had RSVPed. —Vice President Joe Biden, Campaigning 24/7 at Over-Taxed Payers’ Expense
In Sunday’s front-page VP puff piece, did The Fishwrap forget to mention my best friends in Washington? —Rob “Fighting for Fundraisers” Portman
Hamilton County politicians who couldn’t bother attending my Ice Cream Social on Sunday in Greene County included my son P-P-P-Patrick, who’s running for Ohio Court of Appeals and “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup whose campaign mangler forgot to put it on the schedule. —Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine
When that known terrorist group took over Egypt and proved Obama’s so-called “Arab Spring” was nothing more than a radical Islamic nightmare, Obama couldn’t wait to congratulate the Muslim Brotherhood, especially after those fanatics claimed their future capital would be in Jerusalem. —Jewish Voters Beginning to Have Doubts About Obama
On this date in 1876, Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer had a fatal lapse in judgment when he underestimated the number of Indians on the other side of the hill at the Battle of the Little Big Horn, and also forgot to bring his three Gatling guns because they might’ve slowed down his cavalry. —Hurley the Historian
That’s why we chose Custer’s: “There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Did you think our Paddlefest photo of that bloated white bwana cruising down the river to Serpentine Wall with all the power provided by his Pickaninny paddlers was PC enough? —Unfurloughed Fishwrappers
Thanks for keeping all those drunken kayakers off the river last weekend. —Mothers Against Drunk Boaters
Is the Obama Campaign’s Marriage Registry Fundraising Gimmick the tackiest political appeal in history? That’s why we’re downplaying it.—Obama Supporters in the Press
As soon as lights went out, my fellow inmates at the Centre Correctional Facility began serenading me with “Teacher, Leave Those Kids Alone.” —Child Molester Jerry Sandusky
Gay Pride Week got started a little early when activists at the White House flipped off that presidential portrait of Reagan at Obama’s gay reception, but the Obama campaign will be selling Obama Car Magnets for this weekend’s Gay Pride Parade in Cincinnati. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
Can I be in the Gay Pride Parade, too? —The Whistleblower’s Weenie Wagging Hamilton County Elected Official
Will the Reds be in town during Gay Pride Week? Watching them blow saves is fabulous. —Gay Pride Organizers
Was Sunday the anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis? —Whistleblower Spoiled Sports Editor Andy Furball
Will there be many Gay Pride events for us to cover in Northern Kentucky? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
“My Old Kentucky Home” still includes “Gay Darkies,” doesn’t it? —Stephen Foster
Do you already have enough volunteers for The Blower’s booth? —Trish the Dish at Channel 19 News
Even Sheree Paolello wasn’t dumb enough to ask me that question. —Jack Atherton

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower ridicules gay bashers to show that intolerance of any kind is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Hairy Homophobe.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Phil Burr-ass.

HAIRY HOMOPHOBES HOT LINE

e-mail your rants and slants today.

Some family values items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally family values subscribers.

Link of the Day

Jack Webb Schools Obama on Democracy

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.