Saturday, June 23, 2012
Happy Paddlefest, Everybody
Paddlefest, in case you’ve forgotten, is when Liberal Loonies try to sell us down the river one more time, but organizer Brewster Rhoads says his annual event is not to be confused with next week’s annual Gay Paddlefest, where Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis like to give each other spankings at Sawyer Point. Not only that, our good friend Bobby Leach e-mailed us our Gay Paddlefest Joke: “What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.”- Rob “Fighting for Flotation” Portman says he’ll be there for a photo op, too— just like he’s been every year for the past decade. Then, with only “135” more days until this year’s elections, The Robster will be jetting off to the opulent Deer Valley resort in Utah for a fat cat cash fund-raising event, where VP wannabes will be sucking up to Mitt Romney big time.
Somebody else who’ll be trying to stay afloat this weekend is Obama’s Spokes-Dweeb Jay Cardboard who’s really been under fire lately. The White House Press Corps didn’t believe him at his daily deflections spin session when he tried to explain why Obama was not really a hypocrite for asserting Executive Privilege, even though he heavily criticized Bush for using it in 2007. Carney was also up a creek without a paddle when couldn’t remember slain Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry’s name. No wonder Terry’s parents are accusing Obama Regime Officials of “hiding something.”
And then GOP Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) said CardBoard’s comments claiming the administration has given Congress every document related to Fast & Furious are “hogwash.”
Speaking of the utter irony of Obama’s asserting executive privilege for a cover-up on the 40th Anniversary of Watergate, Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1973, President Richard Nixon’s advisor, H.R. Haldeman, told the president to put pressure on the head of the FBI to “stay the hell out of this [Watergate burglary investigation] business” and Nixon’s legacy was assured, just like Obama’s and his trusty Attorney General Eric Holder’s, who by the way, is looking more like John Mitchell every day.- And our Quote for Today Committee chose Richard Nixon’s: “Well, when the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.”
- In Washington, Whistleblower Legal Analyst Nolo Contendre says Thursday the Obama Administration saw some more chickens coming home to roost as all the news media were watching for the Supreme Court to announce its decision striking down Obamacare, and when that didn’t happen, they had nothing else to be distracted by, so they turned all attention on Holder-gate. Oh, the unfairness of it all!
And then when they looked at the decisions the Supreme Court did release, Justice Alito wrote for a 7-2 majority that Union Goons had to give their members notice and the ability to opt out of proposed dues increases to be used to pay for election ads. Justices Breyer and Kagan said they agreed with the most overruled 9th Circuit Court of Appeals that hiding the intent to raise dues in the boilerplate language of annual notices was sufficient. Remember how the media and Obama ridiculed Alito when he mouthed “not true” to himself during that State of the Union Address where Obama scolded the Supreme Court for protecting political speech by corporations and claimed that as a result foreign corporations could make political contributions? Well yesterday, Justice Alito wrote in the majority opinion, specifically that the dissenting opinion had “no merit.” How’s that for collegiality! That’s one reason good lawyers always refuse to irritate the judge whenever possible.
Speaking of Union Unrest, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Vice President Joe Biden is scheduled to visit Hamilton on Monday to mark the one-year anniversary of the movement that kept Senate Bill 5 from taking effect. But if they celebrate that now, what’ll they be cheering at the upcoming Labor Day Picnic at Coney Island?- With all the alleged intelligence in Wyoming (the City, not the State), you would think someone in their government would learn how to post a file to the internet. On Tuesday the city posted May’s City Clown-cil Minutes to their Clown-cil website. Except they didn’t. They produced a dead link that gives you nothing but an error message.
It just so happens it’s at this meeting where Clown-cil approved its own Mahogany’s-style sweetheart deal, where Wyoming over-taxed payers are giving away nearly $800,000 in cash and property so a Friend of Clown-cil can open a small restaurant. Fortunately those who want to read about it don’t need the City of Wyoming to learn how to post a file. A local blogger has written two in-depth stories about this giveaway – one which covers the details of the bad deal, and the other which exposes the unelected shadow committee that actually made most of the decisions. It makes you wonder why Wyoming’s City Clown-cil refuses to make the tough decisions they were elected to make.
- In the last few months Republicans for Higher Taxes has added a new feature to its site, where they mix in some “funny stories” from around the news with their usual stuff. The latest in their Funny Stories series discusses the arrest of a 400-pound naked woman who was charged with exposing her sexual organs. They are pretty sure it wasn’t Tabitha Hochscheid.
This weekend, local Team 12 volunteers will be trying to build on Romney Mitt-mentum in Hamilton County going door-to-door for victory in Wyoming (the City, not the State), Cheviot, North College Hill, and Sycamore Township. Meanwhile, the career courthouse crony mangling the Wenstrup campaign says if any of those places are in Ohio’s Second Congressional District, maybe the Romney volunteers could hand out some our crap, too— if we have any printed by then.
Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel says if that Hamilton County elected official accused of wagging his weenie at a woman who was not his wife joins those volunteers, he wouldn’t have to worry about seeing any of his neighbors, since he doesn’t represent any of those places.
Meanwhile Disorganized DemocRATS from “Team Scrappy” (whatever the hell that means) will be going door-to-door in Appalachia (wherever the hell that is), but first they could certainly use a fast $5,000 to equip volunteers with what they’re calling “DemocRAT Survival Kits” (whatever the hell they are). They say those kits include such crucial items as clipboards, literature, signs, maps, pens, and water – everything a good D-RAT needs to motivate and engage voters. This is a BYOBS event, and all Obama supporters are therefore expected to donate an extra $8 apiece before Sunday.
But The Blower thinks it would be really funny if instead, all those Disheveled DemocRATS descended upon Cedarville on Sunday at the Annual DeWhine Family Ice Cream Social and started throwing Fran’s pies.
- At the same time in Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders if the South Shore will get any credit for Paddlefest this weekend. “Doesn’t anybody know the wet part of the Ohio River is actually in our state, no matter what it got named?” The Camboozler asked.
Finally at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane if Obama’s White House Spokes-Dweeb Jay Cardboard could go to jail for lying at press conferences. “No more than any candidate, columnist, or elected official when they flat out lie,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained, “because they’re not under oath.”
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