Friday, June 22, 2012
Should We Be Changing His Name to “Eric the Withholder”
Was The Blower really first to call Obama’s latest scandal “Holder-gate?” Not long after Thursday’s e-dition came out, a couple of older “Holdergate” references also showed up on Google. The only question now is whether the New York Times will give us credit for Holder-gate, like they did for Portman’s protégé, “Mean Jean” Schmidt.
And we’re also now waiting to see who else echoes The Blower’s direct comparison between Holder-Gate and Watergate. What a great way to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Nixon’s Watergate breaking. It all looks so Nixonian and we’re waiting for somebody to ask “What did the president know and when did he know it.”
After all, nothing says “I have nothing to hide” with only “136” more days until a presidential election like an executive power grab to block investigators from looking at government documents. Obama’s last-minute assertion of executive privilege turned a political back-and-forth between the DOJ and a congressional committee into a full-blown scandal ensnaring the president. Now everybody want to know what’s hiding in those papers that pushed Obama to take this risk? Those Fast and Furious Documents must really be dynamite for Obama to paint himself into such a corner. Maybe this time the Crime will be worse than the Cover-up. Iowa Republican Senator Chuck Grassley says it now raises suspicions that Obama himself was involved in the operation. Do you think? No wonder Republican Latino Senator Marco Rubio called for Eric Holder to resign. It sure has the stench of cover-up.
And you can color us amazed. Boehner and Cantor couldn’t wait to announce their Fast & Furious Contempt Vote in the House next week. Where’d they find the testosterone?
How about Eric Holder’s “retracting his claim” that the Bush team knew about Fast & Furious? Was that anything like “lying to Congress?”
So what else are they lying about? Will we get to see somebody frog marched before this is over? At least it keeps the Economy off the front page for a while.
Amazingly, the Blame-Stream Media actually mentioned Obama’s Fast & Furious Scandal Wednesday night, but only on PMSNBC was it declared good for Obama and bad for the GOP. No kidding!
And did you see Obama’s White House Spokes-Dweeb Jay Cardboard trying to explain why Obama was not a hypocrite for using Executive Privilege even though he heavily criticized Bush for using it in 2007?
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Sam Ervin’s, “The President seems to extend executive privilege way out past the atmosphere. What he says is executive privilege is nothing but executive poppycock.” Ervin was Chairman of the Senate Watergate Committee whose 1972 investigation led to the resignation of President Richard Nixon in 1974.
Almost as historic in Washington, our DC Newsbreaker says the Congressional Women’s Softball Team lost Wednesday night to a team of lady reporters. Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel is still fuming over not being picked for the team.
And aren’t we all thrilled to know that Mean Jean was named her team’s MVP in their game against DC reporters? At least she wasn’t playing ball with the Turkish Ambassador during the losing effort! Maybe she’ll follow Pete Rose’s example and sell the trophy to raise funds to pay off her debts?
Ohio First District Congressman Steve Chabothead is opening his new campaign headquarters on Monday, and the career courthouse crony mangling the Wenstrup campaign in Ohio’s Second Congressional District wonders if that means, he ought to start thinking about opening a campaign office for his candidate, too.- Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1944, FDR signed the GI Bill to recognize and repay men and women returning from WWII for their service, after which the highly educated veterans charged up the hill to capture the American dream, and our nation embarked on a thirty year economic boom. It’s a pity our heroes of today are only treated as political pawns during Congress’ never-ending bi-partisan bickering.
Duke Energy has requested its state regulator (PUCO) for permission to enact a streetcar surcharge on its customers’ bills to recover the costs of moving underground equipment for the streetcar project. Republicans for Higher Taxes endorses this proposal, saying another streetcar tax would be a great thing for city residents. Long-time streetcar supporter Sean Donovan has yet to comment.
Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel says you can cross off Crosby Township (along with Colerain) as the location of the Hamilton County elected township official accused of wiggling his weenie. Wouldn’t a story about that justify paying more to see in the Community Press, when the pervert politician is finally identified?
In Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says there was a big story in The Fishwrap about somebody hacking into a road sign near Louisville telling motorists to “Beware of the Zombies.” Last year the same thing happened on I-71/I-75 in Florence. At least The Dissociated Press could’ve provided a picture.- Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about Obama’s Arrogant Attorney General Eric Holder’s testimony before Congress and the vote to hold him in contempt of Congress. “I sought out well respected prosecutors for their legal opinions,” Kane explained. Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters said, “Everyone knows that black guys never lie on the witness stand.” And in Northern Kentucky, our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders agreed, adding, “That goes double for hillbillies.”
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
Stories We’re Working On
No Supreme Court ObamaCare ruling this week- Manufacturing and Jobs Reports add up to more bad news
- Obama campaign spent more than it raised in May
- More Lies in Obama’s Biography
- Biggest internet sex sting in Clermont County History
- Who’s that “Weenie-Wagging” Elected Official in Hamilton County?
- Wife Cheaters in Northern Kentucky
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said Obama asserted “Executive Privilege” over all those “Fast & Furious” documents Congressional investigators were demanding:
(A) Trying to bluff Republicans in Congress: 2%
(B) More great advice from Bill Clinton: 1%
(C) Just a temporary diversion from the Economy: 1%
(D) He really does have something awful to hide: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Taxed to the Max
This week, everybody who can’t understand how his real estate values can be plummeting during the Obama Recession at the same time his property taxes are being jacked up, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is noted anti-taxer Norquist Tadwell, who says, “I wouldn’t mind paying these jacked-up taxes, if only they were educating the kids with the money.”
Norquist wins an autographed photo of the County Auditor with Egg All Over His Face, an Official Whistleblower Jacked-up Property Values Complaint Form, free tickets to a seminar to learn how to successfully challenge the Auditor’s phony baloney value for his property, a “No More Drive-By Appraisals” sign for his yard, and tips from Bill “The Ethnic Cleanser” Seitz on how he got his old pal the Disingenuous DemocRAT Hamilton County Auditor (who was permitted to run unopposed by the RINOs at 700 Walnut Street) to give him an historic tax reduction. His winning entry is:
When you pay your real estate taxes,
Don’t ask where your money goes if you want factses,
Just watch for Castellini and Mike Brown,
First in line at the Courthouse downtown
Making huge profits off of our backses.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who says, “The complexion of the neighborhood is certainly changing these days.”)
When you pay your real estate taxes
Can you see how the auditor relaxes?
He don’t have to work,
The greedy old jerk,
He just robs us, and them’s what the facts is.
And if he feels like hiking them higher
You might start looking for a home buyer
You can beg him for cuts
But he’s got you by the nuts
And your situation is nothing but dire.
If your taxes go up more and more
Eventually you’re gonna end up poor
If you have no more money
It really won’t be funny
When you get a foreclosure notice on your door.
But that won’t bother ol’ Dusty a bit
If you’re broke, he won’t give a shit.
He’ll just sit back and grin
And raise taxes again
And I don’t think that he’ll ever quit.
So maybe the answer is to rent
And let your landlord lament
You won’t own a house
And you’ll be poor as a church mouse
You might end up under a bridge in a tent.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Obama’s latest scandal called ‘Holder-gate’ ”
HOLDER-GATE HOT LINE
E-mail your terse testimony today
Some redacted items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally redacted subscribers.
Link of the Day
Most Arrogant Man In The World
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