Monday, June 4, 2012

Using Tomorrow’s Technology Today

These days, every news organization in radio, television, and the print media is trying to reinvent itself on the internet to attract more readers and viewers. They say it’s to meet the changing needs and tastes of news and information audiences, but The Blower says it’s because they need to cover-up the fact that the real reason they’re all losing audience or circulation is that they’re not doing their jobs right in the first place.

Just this week The Whistleblower Editorial Board was discussing some of the recent devices we ourselves have employed to do a better job of bringing you the news, and the entire Board agreed with our Quote for Today Committee’s choice of this observation from distinguished Math and Physics professor James Yorke: “The most successful people are those who are good at Plan B.”

Most visible of our efforts would be all those vile-and-disgusting pictures sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers. A dirty mind is certainly a terrible thing to waste.

Then we have “links” (those underlined blue words that are a magical method of taking the reader somewhere else on the internet).

With a link, we can show you an entire news item. That comes in handy if you’re trying to examine the entire context of what somebody wrote, the item linked in yesterday’s Blower reporting experts saying gasoline prices could hit $4-per-gallon this summer. If that doesn’t get your attention, we don’t know what would.

When we say the incompetent people running a candidate like “Bronze Star Brad’s” campaign haven’t updated his web page for two months, you don’t have to take our word for it, we can actually show you the oudated web page.

Best of all, we can actually show you something we said in the past. Linking to a previous edition in the archives comes in especially handy when we’re claiming we made a prediction that came true.

And you can always link to back issues of The Whistleblower at our archives on the Whistleblower-Newswire web page and enjoy some of your favorites at the Artis Conception Galleries, too.

Just Last Month, We Showed You Lots of Links

When Obama was caught spiking the football on the anniversary of bin Laden’s death at the hands of our Navy SEALs, we showed you “Why does President Obama take so much credit for killing Bin Laden?,” along with the “US Naval Academy’s Commandant’s Speech After Bin Laden’s Death.”
On Cinco de Mayo, we demonstrated our diversity with “People startled by Cinco de Mayo,” a “Cinco de Mayo Test,” a “Border Patrol Game,” and “How to talk dirty in Spanish.
On Mother’s Day, we paid homage to our sainted mothers with “Dude, That’s my Mom,” “The Mothers of Mother’s Day,” a “Mother’s Day Message,” “Happy Mother’s Day from Barack Obama,” and “Ann Romney Mother’s Day.” And for those marvelous MILFs we know, we sent along “Happy Mother’s Day, MILFs,” “Mother’s Day MILF,” “Happy Mother’s Day, MILFs,” and our “Happy MILF Day Song.”
Then for something completely patriotic, we showed previewed “Armed Forces Day 2012.”
Getting ready for our summer getaway, we showed you “Gasoline Prices in Your Neighborhood,” and “How to save money on gasoline.”
For “Distaste of Cincinnati,” we told you “Don’t leave home without it.”
On Memorial Day Weekend, we previewed “The 2012 National Memorial Day Concert,” and showed you “The Wrong Army,” “Remember Me,” “This Will Make You Proud,” and “The Greatest Play in Baseball,” “Reveille,” and “Romney’s Memorial Day Message.”
When Obama “evolved” to support same sex marriage, “The First Gay President,” “Mitt Romney on Gay Marriage,” “Here’s How You Know You’re Gay,” and “The Colors of Hamilton County.”
On Bluegrass Primary Day, we showed you “Which candidates to Trust,” and “JIM BUNNING: As Pitcher and Senator, Mean & Heartless.”
And our award-winning coverage of the 2012 Presidential Primary Campaign included “The Senator Who Became a Sellout,” “Broken Promises: Jobs And The Economy,” “A Republican Attack Ad,” “Silence,” “Are We Satisfied? No!,” “Familiar Rhetoric, Failed Record,” “Empty Promises: Debt & Deficits,” “Obama 2012: From ‘Hope’ to Hypocrisy,” “How Does Obama Grade Himself,” “From ‘Hope’ to Hypocrisy Excuses, Excuses,” “Basketball,” and “Not Even Half.”
But those were just the “Links of the Day” at the bottom of each e-dition. Add all those other links sprinkled throughout each e-dition and there’s a lot more entertainment and information with videos like: “Reason #4,682,987 Taliban Jihadists should think twice about taking up arms against America,” Trooper Babe Alecia Webb-Edgington’s “Legs” TV commercial, and the latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders historically accurate e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features a cabbie convicted of raping a drunken fare and a father-son convict combo in a Covington murder case but most of the perverted readers of the Robsters e-rag and enjoying the weekly trend of kinda-sorta attractive chicks we’ll just call “prison hot” as in “she’s pretty hot for a chick on her way to prison!” Check out the samples this week.

That’s why we always guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see our links and pictures on their computer monitors will never fully appreciate all the good stuff in that day’s edition.