Friday, June 1, 2012
The Sad State of Republican Campaigns in Hamilton County
As concerns mount over the lack of action in the Wenstrup campaign, with Alex T.’s Hand-Picked Hack in over his head having to work for a living for the first time in his life, attention has turned to some of the other campaigns.
While the hand-picked Friends of Alex calling themselves the “Young Leaders Council” gather for a totally insignificant and unproductive “happy hour” at The Banks, they just so happened to accidentally choose the same night the Blue Chip Young Republicans have their meeting. That was a planned move on their part to eliminate competition and get rid of the Blue Chippers. Blue Chip supports actual conservative candidates and issues. In their quest to quash the conservatives, they overlooked the fact that Alex’s Ally “Bronze Star Brad” was Blue Chip’s featured speaker.
That figures, the one-time Brad and his campaign manager get it together enough to go somewhere and speak to someone actually in the district he’s hoping to be elected to represent, and their puppetmaster Alex has a scheduling conflict in his egotistical quest to eliminate competition to his hand-picked group, led by a young lady who has a long history of sitting on Alex’s Lap. It’s long past time for Republicans to stop fighting each other and start fighting the DemocRATS, but that would involve more work and less alcohol.
- Sadly, other Republican candidates get their work ethic cues from Alex T. Mall Cop GOP and think all there is to running for office is going to cocktail parties on the east side, going to Reds games downtown, and telling west side conservatives how much you love them (while never going anywhere near them).
- In 2012, campaigns will need to reach voters online. Unfortunately, the online and social media “efforts” of the Republican ticket do not inspire any confidence for November.
“Bronze Star Brad’s” time capsule of a website has been well-noted. It’s June on the rest of Planet Earth, but at www.USABRAD.com it’s still early March.
This is Clerk of Courts Tracy Winkler’s webpage, such as it is. http://www.tracywinkler.com/newsevents.php Tracy has an event coming up, but her news article is six months old. Not bad for being totally unqualified for the office she holds and is only there because of the deal she cut with Alex T to create a job for his ex-wife so he could avoid alimony payments.
Commissioner candidate Marge Wuellner hasn’t bothered with a webpage, since she hasn’t bothered to campaign and the party is still trying to find a replacement candidate for the right to get slaughtered by Odd Todd Opportune. Running unopposed, Todd has no webpage, either.
ME, Greg Hartmann, has a decent website. http://www.greghartmann.com/ Congrats, Greggie, you’ve got the most comprehensive website of any countywide Republican candidate in Hamilton County, which is like being the most talented Bungal. Just hope Susan and Kellie aren’t keeping up with this on taxpayer time.
Coroner candidate Pete Kambelos has the advantage of running against an appointed incompetent incumbent DemocRAT with a complicated name. So, that means he doesn’t need a webpage? Have fun at all the festivals, Pete, passing out junk with your name on it and drinking beer with all the other self-important Gang Of Phonies, before you have to go back to private practice full-time. What a shame, because this race is winnable. It looks like the closest Pete will get to a dead man will be his own campaign.
Double-dipping engineer Ted Hubbard is unopposed so he has website. Ted thinks no one else will campaign against Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (in job-swapping and double-dipping).
\Google “Joe Deters” and this is what you get. His DemocRAT opponent has a web page attacking Jaywalking Joe. As for Joe’s re-election website, his official page seems to be filling the bill for the time being http://www.hcpros.org/about-us/biography-joseph-t-deters maybe his ne’er-do-well brother Buzz is supposed to be running his campaign.
At least Joe has that going for him, unlike Recorder candidate Wayne Lippert, who doesn’t have a working webpage at all http://www.waynelippert.net/
Deputy Dog Donovan has a webpage but it hasn’t been updated recently. http://www.donovanforsheriff.com/events.html
Closest thing to a website for Trea$urer Rob Goering http://www.ourcampaigns.com/CandidateDetail.html?CandidateID=79296 and how out of date is this? His DemocRAT opponent knows how to make a website. http://www.cramerding.com/Home
So, there you have the Hamilton County Republican mentality in a nutshell: rely on Republican turnout and your last name to keep yourself in elected office so the staff can do the real work while you play around all day with Alex T Mall Cop GOP and the Walnut Street Wizards.
Ask Bob Bungalhaus, Carl Parrott, Phil Heimlich, Rebecca Prem Groppe, and John Williams just how effectively that strategy works.
In Kentucky, while Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo is waiting for word on a big Republican Unity Meeting, The CamBoozler is reporting a large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky. Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man’s tractor.
“Hank,” the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. “Did you see this terrible accident happen?”
“Yep. Sure did,” the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor’s engine.
“Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?”
“Yep.”
“Were there any survivors?”
“Nope. They’s all kilt straight out,” the farmer answered. “I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.”
“President Obama is dead?” the sheriff asked.
“Well,” the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor, “He kept a-saying he wasn’t… But you know how bad that sumbitch lies…”
Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders celebrating Clint Eastwood’s 82nd Birthday were making their day by comparing some of their favorite Clint Eastwood quotes, like “I have a very strict gun control policy: if there’s a gun around, I want to be in control of it,” “A man’s got to know his limitations,” and “I tried being reasonable, I didn’t like it.”
Also, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane was amused by the Hollywood skywriter’s spacing problems when he tried to write “Happy Birthday, Clint.”
REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.
Stories We’re Working On
US lost 129,000 millionaires in 2011- Early Obama backer leaves DemocRAT Party
- Iran says: Trust us, we’re not really making a bomb
- US filings for unemployment aid at a five-week high
- Republican groups plan $1 Billion ad blitz
- Moveon.org warns it might have to pull the plug
- Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters web site is still down while his license is suspended
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Readers Poll respondents said Obama was losing support this week:
(A) Insulting all the Poles and Jews: 2%
(B) Not spending enough time campaigning: 1%
(C) It got so bad, Biden had to be sent home for a week: 1%
(D) Not raising enough money to get his message out: 96%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Up Your Octane!
This week, everybody who is well aware of the fact that gasoline prices have more than doubled since Obama took office, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Orville Octane, who says buying gasoline is really a religious experience these days, because every time you see how much it costs to fill your tank, you yell, “Holy Christ!”
Orville wins a “Bomb Their Ass and Steal their Gas” T-shirt, a siphon for stealing his next-door neighbor’s gas, and once a week, One of Eric Deters’ Mexican Midgets promises to hide in Orville’s trunk so he can jump out and switch nozzles to Orville’s gas tank when other drivers are distracted waiting for their cars to fill up. His winning entry is:
Paying Four Dollars for a Gallon of Gas
Makes Crooked Bastards, Inc. happy, alas.
But they won’t be happy for long,
‘Cause greed is the name of their song,
As they shove the pump hose further up our ass.
Paying four dollars for a gallon of gas
Is a phony price gouge, but it will not pass.
For Obama and his New World Order, you see,
It’s one more tool to destroy the bourgeoisie,
But Barry and his hell hounds can kiss my white ass.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who’s still not successfully completed his racial sensitivity correspondence course):
Paying four dollars for a gallon of gas
Is kinda like takin’ it right up the ass
I’ve got a car that runs on coal
Green energy ain’t my goal
When it comes to eco-friendly, I’ll pass.
When I was a kid, we rode bikes,
We walked where we could, and went on hikes
We did what we could
With coal, gas and wood
And there were no such things as homos and dykes.
Paying four dollars for a gallon of gas
Is nothing less than a pain in the ass
I hear Charles Foster Kane
Has a car that runs on grain
I wish I had a car that runs on grass
Paying four dollars for a gallon of gas
Is really a royal pain in the ass.
But I pay what I gotta
‘Cause my car won’t run on watta
And it costs too much to cut my damn grass!
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Our GOP Candidate we can now call Mitt”
OBAMANATIONS HOT LINE
E-mail his foul-ups and failures today.
Some Obama-Bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Obama-Bashing subscribers
Links of the Day
Obama’s Failed Investments
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.