Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Real E-Mails from Real Subscriber
Tonight’s Republican Primary Election will be a really big deal for the Romney Campaign, because according to the GOP Delegate Counter, those 145 Texas delegates will be more than enough to win the nomination in Tampa. — Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus- But the biggest election news story tonight will be coming from Austin, to see if Obama gets embarrassed in the DemocRAT Primary one more time. —Noted Texas Political Reporter Lone Star Tadwell
Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says only 49% of the people they interviewed think Memorial Day is one of nation’s most important holidays, the same as last year.—Patriotic Americans- This Memorial Day, at least Obama found time for his campaign photo op during the traditional Memorial Day event at Arlington National Cemetery and the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. —WWII Medal of Honor Winners
- What’s the big deal? Dead soldiers are only “Political Props.” —Obama Supporters in the Press
On Friday’s date in 1980, left-wing lunatics found a new way to spew their Liberal lies when we began broadcasting. —CNN- Just because our announcers are uncomfortable calling America’s fallen military “heroes,” doesn’t mean we’re totally unpatriotic. —Obama Rooters at PMSNBC
- Next year when Obama’s raised $1 Billion for his re-election campaign, maybe he can lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Donor in Chicago. —Compulsive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose
Sunday’s Rolling Thunder got a lot more publicity last year when I showed up for a ride on a Harley. —Sarah Palin- I tried to become relevant again when I showed up on Memorial Day with Mitt Romney (and his big lead over Obama with veterans) for a patriotic tribute at the Veterans Museum and Memorial Center in San Diego. —John McCain, 2008 Republican Presidential Nominee
Did everybody see me on Sunday’s PBS Memorial Day Concert before it got rained out? —Colin Powell- That’s why we chose General Norman Schwartzkopf’s “It doesn’t take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
- That was a truly inspirational account about the origin of “Taps” in The Blower’s Memorial Day e-dition. Unfortunately, according to Snopes.com, that story was not exactly true. —Freddy Factchecker
- That’s why I always say “When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” —Liberty Valance
OK, let’s see if the guys at Snopes.com can find fault with this version of “Taps.” —Tom Paine-in-the-Ass- Did we miss an opportunity by not having a really big event on Memorial Day? —Tea Party Patriots, Waiting For Flag Day (whenever the hell that is)
On Memorial Day, every Real Republican in Hamilton County on the Special Whistleblower Insiders List offered a silent prayer for the souls of all those brave men and women whose political aspirations have died under the leadership of the Hamilton County RINO Party. —Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda- As the Official Voice of the Conservative Agenda, make sure The Blower doesn’t forget June 1 will be the 16th anniversary of the Hamilton County Stadium tax. —Looney Libertarian Josh Weitzman
Isn’t it great that draft dodgers get a paid day off on Memorial Day too? —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham- The reason I didn’t ask for any money on my Happy Memorial Day message was because that over-taxed payer funded e-mail was part of my constituent service. —Disingenuous DemocRAT Sherrod Brown
- Who says we don’t report all the important issues just because our traditional News Poll question on Memorial Day has always been “Which do you like better– brats or metts?” —TV12 News
- Does anybody remember when you could actually afford to just get in your car and drive somewhere on Memorial Day because gasoline now costs have more than doubled during the Obama Administration? —Greater Cincinnati Gas Stations
Every year Distaste of Cincinnati is proof that Hell is full and the dead are walking the earth. —Downtown Clown-cil- This year our members donated their used food to all those licensed panhandlers and the homeless. —Greater Cincinnati Restaurant Association
- Hasn’t anybody figured out we’ll deliver a pizza to your house for a whole lot less than it costs those idiots at Distaste of Cincinnati? —LaRosa’s
- It’s a good thing City Clown-cil passed a law saying price gouging is still OK. —Distaste of Cincinnati Vendors
Memorial Day parades would be a lot shorter if they kept publicity-seeking politicians away and the only people marching were there to honor America’s war dead. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo- We were hoping to see members of the Lesbian Avengers Motorcycle Club riding topless in the Y’All Ville City parade. -—Bluegrass Breast Inspectors
- I was only there to honor the MILFs. —Bobby Leach
We think announcing the exact location of DUI checkpoints on Memorial Day Weekend really helps a lot. —Mothers Against Drunk Driving- Every Memorial Day weekend, I always celebrate the anniversary of the Beverly Hills fire. —Greedy Disgraceful DemocRAT, Hearse-chasing Attorney $tan Che$ley
- On Memorial Day, I went to the cemetery to visit my law license. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
- On Memorial Day, all Second Amendment Advocates should offer a silent prayer for the souls of all those victims of gun violence, who died because laws already on the books have not been enforced. —Billy Bob Carbine, Bluegrass Rifle Association
- Memorial Day is one of those holidays where we honor a special event or a birthday by pretending it always happened on a Monday and then leaving our trash at the curb for an extra long time. —Uncle Jay, Who Used to Explain the News
Did the Covington Commissioners really place a wreath for me at the Tomb of the Unknown Midget? —Disgraced Former Covington Commissioner Steve “I’m 5’0”, Not 4’11”Mergele- Did they really have a ceremony to honor Civil War heroes like General Hooker at the Piece Bell in Newport? —Phyllis on Madison
- Memorial Day is always a great time to enjoy a three-way. —Paul Patton Her on the Ass
- Memorial Day is always a great day to recall your failed political campaigns. —Trey Grayson
- Tell us about it. —Gary No Moore and The Trooper Babe
Memorial Day is always a great time to enjoy a memorial probe. —The Murg- Guys at the Fort Mitchell Country Club always tell me Memorial Day is a great time to wear my bikini. —Miss Vicki
- Memorial Day would always be a great time for The Fishwrap to get scooped by The Blower on a story about a well-known person from Northern Kentucky being arrested for DUI. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
Memorial Day is always a great time to be invited to a big picnic. —Weight Gainers Members Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich- We’re still trying to figure out when Confederate Memorial Day is officially celebrated in Northern Kentucky. —Rufus Redneck
- On Confederate Memorial Day, do you think I should tell people I’m related to Jefferson Davis? —Goof Doofus
You can’t fool me. Wednesday is the traditional date for Memorial Day, right? —Trish the Dish at Channel 19 News- Curiously, Sheree Paolello says that’s not what it says on her Celebrity Anchorbabes calendar. —Jack Atherton
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower ridicules sunshine patriots to show that claiming to be a Great American is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a draft dodger getting paid for a day off on Memorial Day.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham.
THE REAL MEANING OF MEMORIAL DAY HOT LINE
e-mail your patriotic prose today.
Some patriotic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally patriotic subscribers.
Link of the Day
Romney Releases Memorial Day Message
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
