Sunday, May 20, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE OBAMA STORY THIS WEEK was how that story about Obama’s birth certificate just won’t go away. This week, Obama Supporters in the press were super busy trying to suppress reports that in 1991 Obama’s literary agents were using the Barack Obama “born in Kenya” language until April 2007, just two months after then-Senator Obama declared his campaign for the presidency.
Here’s how Obama’s agents described our Composite Kenyan: “Barack Obama, the first African-American president of the Harvard Law Review, was born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia and Hawaii. The son of an American anthropologist and a Kenyan finance minister, he attended Columbia University and worked as a financial journalist and editor for Business International Corporation.”
No wonder Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpiao says Obama’s so-called birth certificate is not only a fraud, it’s a fake fraud. How many more examples does this nation need to prove the Liberal Press was so busy swooning over Obama they failed to report the truth about him when he first ran for president?
- OUR NUMBER TWO OBAMA STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama’s Billion Dollar Re-election Campaign at the White House was caught inserting electioneering material touting Obama into biographies of the past nine presidents on the Official White House web site. The Blower doesn’t know why anybody’s surprised. After all, according to this Official White House Photograph, Obama also considers himself the thirteenth disciple of Jesus.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE OBAMA STORY THIS WEEK was when leaders of the G8 united Friday night at Camp David, the lavish presidential retreat that has played home to many historic international negotiations, and Reuters reported that the leaders were only there for a giant “sleepover,” as if they were putting hair in curlers and talking about boys. Didn’t they know about all the really important BS Obama was discussing at dinner?
Seated clockwise from Obama in the Official White House Photo by Pete Souza are: Prime Minister David Cameron of the United Kingdom, Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev of Russia, Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany, Herman Van Rompuy, President of the European Council, José Manuel Barroso, President of the European Commission, Prime Minister Yoshihiko Noda of Japan, Prime Minister Mario Monti of Italy, Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada, and President François Hollande of France.
Maybe Reuters noticed all those pictures of our self-absorbed president on the wall overlooking the dinner table.
Some of the other comments on that Weasel Zippers story include:
Big Al says: The stack of books behind him on the shelf are all copies of “Dreams From my Father.”
Rufus says: I didn’t even have to look to know what they were. Obama is seriously disturbed.
pst314 says: Wasn’t it Jimmy Carter who, when staying at Camp David, would take down all the photos of past presidents that he didn’t like and replace them with photos of himself?
And Scooby says: Let’s not forget, the second he was elected he created the office of the ‘President-elect’ complete with logo and seal. Unheard of. That’s when we all knew for sure… He will never let go of this thing. Mark my words
MONDAY in our Special “Moms and MILFs” E-dition, The Blower said, “A MILF is a terrible thing to waste!”:
Even a year after the long-awaited death of Osama’s bin Laden, our Eternal War on Terror continues, Obamatized DemocRATS and their Willing Accomplices in the Liberal Press continue to ask why we’re still fighting. So with Armed Forces Day coming up on May 19, maybe it’s time to find out what our American heroes are really fighting for.
Duty? Honor? County? What really keeps our American Fighting Men going so far from home? That’s why yesterday on Mother’s Day, we asked some of lonely young heroes so far from home overseas and they told us what really kept them going was thinking about all those MILFs back home.
[READ MORE HERE]
TUESDAY in our Special “First Gay President” E-dition, The Blower reported Barney Frank still won’t invite Obama to his wedding and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
If Bill Clinton could be “America’s first black president,” Obama can surely be our first gay one. — Newsweek Magazine
Is Obama cashing in on his same-sex marriage support or what? Only a few minutes after Obama’s surprise announcement, we came out with a whole line of line products to pander to our gay and lesbian supporters. —Obama Re-election Campaign
With only “174” more days until the November Elections, could Obama’s stance on marriage possibly get any gayer? —Kentucky Senator Rand Paul
When I led “Junketing Jean’s” Replacement around Southwestern Ohio by the hand last Friday, was either of us accused of being gay? —Rob “Fighting for Family Values” Portman
When Republicans change positions, we call it “Flip-Flopping.” When DemocRATS Flip-Flop, it’s “evolving.” —Liberal Pundits on TV
The Fishwrap’s new idiotorial page editor Dave Holthaus says he just wants to help our region “evolve” into a tolerant community. —Whistleblower Alternate Life-styles Editors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis
[READ MORE HERE]
WEDNESDAY in our Special “Devolving Democracy” E-dition, The Blower explained it’s just “Dumbing Down”:
Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen said Obama was motivated by politics, not policy, when he declared his support for same-sex marriage, according to a new poll released on Monday. 67% of those surveyed by The New York Times and CBS News since the announcement said they thought that Obama had made it “mostly for political reasons,” while only 24 % said it was “mostly because he thinks it is right.”
Obama is now calling for repeal of Defense of Marriage Act. He dropped that little Gay Bomb during a $1 Million Sodomy Rites Fundraiser in NYC hosted by gay singer Ricky Martin.
The Blower says, “Color us unsurprised.”
Disgraced Former Pants Dropper in Chief Bill Clinton may have been dubbed America’s First Black President,” but the way Obama appears to be “devolving” during the next “173” days until the Presidential Election, don’t be surprised if Obama Supporters in the Press are calling him our first Openly Gay-Female-Hispanic-Asian-Jewish President by Election Eve.
[READ MORE HERE]
THURSDAY, in our Special “D-Word Update” E-dition, The Blower concluded it was no wonder all the other letters were jealous!:
Wednesday in our “Devolving Democracy” Edition, we said it was just like “Dumbing Down.” A few days earlier, we said Obama’s Billion Dollar Re-Election Plan was to “Divide, Distract, and Deceive.” Maybe that’s why whenever The Blower uses the word “DemocRAT,” it’s usually preceded by another “D-Word,” for alliteration (a literary effect achieved by consecutive words that begin with the same consonant, in case all you SCPS graduates wre absent that day).
And today, with the 2012 Presidential Elections only “172” days away, we brought you a few other D-words that come to mind when the Official Voice of the Conservative Agenda thinks about Obama and the DemocRATS. Look them up in your Funken Wagnalls if you don’t know what they mean:
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY in our Special “Historic Presidency Update” E-dition, The Blower said, “With Obama’s Budget, they couldn’t even Fudge iT!” and The Next 171 Days Will Seem Like Eternity:
Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says he’s surprised you didn’t see more about it on the news, but Obama’s budget just went down in flames. Harry Reid’s DemocRAT-Controlled Senate, which hasn’t passed a budget since April 29, 2009, voted 99-0 to reject it. Coupled with the House’s 414-0 rejection in March, that means Obama’s budget failed to win a single vote of support this year. Even Big Labor opposed it.
Weasel Zippers says White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard “Executed a Flawless Triple Axel Back Flip at Today’s Press Briefing,” when he called the Senate’s 99–0 vote against Obama’s Budget “Yet Another Gimmick.” Say what?
You can’t even use the excuse that the reason Obama and his D-RATS haven’t come up with a budget in the last three years is because he’s been campaigning for re-election since even before his Inauguration in 2009. Maybe it’s because even Disingenuous DemocRATS realize Obama’s ideas just plain suck. Nowhere in the annals of American History has a president’s budget failed to get a single vote from members of his own party. Hey Liberals— that’s what The Blower calls “historic!”
[READ MORE HERE]
SATURDAY in our Official “Honoring the Military” E-dition, The Blower reminded readers to send a salami to your boy in the Army.
The third Saturday in May has been officially designated as “Armed Forces Day,” when we salute all of the men and women in all branches of the service who protect us and our country. They can be called upon at a moment’s notice to put their lives on the line to ensure your freedoms, so a little gratitude on your part today wouldn’t hurt.
Each branch of the military used to have its own celebration, but Hurley the Historian says on August 31, 1949 then Secretary of Defense Louis Johnson announced the creation of Armed Forces Day. President Harry Truman also announced the holiday in a presidential proclamation on February 20, 1950. All branches of the military were asked to celebrate on the same day and they complied on the first Armed Forces Day which was held the following year on May 20, 1950.
And appropriately our Quote for Today Committee has chosen this from Jan Scruggs, Founder of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial: “The Price of Freedom is Never Free.” Luckily Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane found somebody willing to buy lunch for a veteran today.
[READ MORE HERE]
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
REPUBLICANS IN 2012: Mitt Romney stood in front of a giant debt clock at a campaign appearance in Florida. The Blower says he should never leave home without it.
OBAMA 2012: Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say this weekend, the Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House were spam-gramming their local e-mail list with an e-mail supposedly from a celebrity. Obama milked L.A. and George Clooney for all it was worth, so this time it’s New York, again, but with a different celebrity idiot. Former Cincinnatian Sarah Jessica Parker is the next Celebrity Stooge in line to host an Obama Fundraiser. Maybe they could call it “Tax in the City.”- OHIO RINO PARTY: In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett named Matt Borges as Executive Director and Izzy Santa as Communications Director. Izzy Santa? That sounds like a name only The Blower could’ve made up.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says unlike four years ago, Barack Obama now has a record to run on – and run against. The economy, the health care law, bailouts, stimulus spending, the changes from the so-called Arab Spring and much more will be hot topics of discussion in the months ahead. [READ MORE HERE]- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “President Obama released his financial disclosure statement today. It turns out he is now worth over $10 million. So at least somebody is doing well in this economy.”
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1862 Lincoln signed the Homestead Act, but unfortunately, thanks to our Disingenuous DemocRAT County Auditor (who was permitted to run unopposed by those geniuses at 700 Walnut Street for all those years) some of the property owners in Hamilton County are still waiting for their Homestead exemptions.
- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose President Ronald Reagan’s “We must not look to government to solve our problems. Government is the problem.”
- VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: Just as The Blower predicted, Hamilton County Republicans got another kick in the balls this week. Votes were finally counted after Clintonista Judge Mr$. $tan Che$ley finally said it was OK and Disgruntled DemocRAT Tracie Hunter could steal Judge John Williams’ Juvenile Court seat that he won fair and square in November 2010.
- HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: While the Hunter-Williams election was close enough to be decided by a DemocRAT federal judge, and as Elections Board Chairman, Alex T. did everything he could to have won this in court, the problems with this race started with his chairmanship of the local GOP. Other counties in Ohio shifted massively to the GOP in 2010 versus 2006 and 2008, Hamilton County did not. How can Chris Monzel beat Jim Tarbell while Williams loses to this Ditzy DemocRAT? Easy, Monzel was smart enough to cultivate his own grassroots base. Williams, as an employee of Alex T at the Board of Elections, and then as someone “assigned” to the Clerk of Courts, was the one candidate most dependent on Alex T in this cycle. All the other candidates who won had either won office before he was chairman or (like Jon Sieve) had very close ties to ones who had. The Alex T model (use Facebook and Twitter while partying it up with young women) simply does not work and those candidates in 2012 who follow it will find their own campaigns in serious JEOPARDY!
- MEDIA MENDACITY: Newsbusters’ Noel Sheppard reported the Obama-loving media had quite a hissy fit this week when the President’s America-hating Reverend Jeremiah Wright suddenly became a campaign issue despite all their efforts. So opposed to the mere mention of Wright’s name is NPR’s Nina Totenberg that on Friday’s PBS’s Inside Washington, she said Reverend Wright is irrelevant because the current White House resident – wait for it! – killed Osama bin Laden. We kid you not.
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #135 is to find a feminist and see if she has a sense of humor:
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be open when she brings it to you.
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: discovered that State Rep-tile Connie Pillich has accepted a $1,000 campaign contribution from a known racist. This is the Pillager’s second troubling racial incident in just the past three months. The disturbing details are posted on the blog.- SOREHEADS IN THE SUBURBS: When Connie “The Pillager” played the Race Card by opposing Ohio House Bill 408 to reform the dysfunctional Cincinnati Metropolitan Housing Authority by ensuring suburban representation, was she saying the only way minorities can make it to the suburbs is through public housing or that only minorities live in subsidized housing?
- MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: The Blower’s surprised The Fishwrap’s new idiotorial page editor Dave Holthaus (who says he just wants to help our region “devolve” into a tolerant community) hasn’t already given Connie a weekly guest column.
RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Mark your calendar for MAY 25! The Fishwrap is promoting an ALL WHITE DREAM AFFAIR at the The Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center. The theme is “Saving the Dream.” Is the dream to be all white?- THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Forlorn Fishwrapper Carrie Whitaker is reporting Cincinnati City leaders are now claiming they were “unaware” of chief’s lack of police powers? Somebody needs to call BS on that one. This requirement is absolutely well known. Craig has lost standing on his command staff and line officers. Meanwhile, Craig says, “I don’t need to take no steenkin’ test. Everybody else is out of step but me.”
- IN ANDERSON: Is the Anderson Laureate still waiting to see “Bronze Star Brad’s” big Armed Forces Day Speech at the Anderson Government Center?
OHIO’S SECOND CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT: When “Junketing Jean” Schmidt spent Afghanistan with Nancy Pelosi and her DemocRAT gal pals in Congress on an over-taxed payer funded trip, did they have to wear their keep their heads covered according to Muslim law? Jean’s Press Flack Barrett Brunsman says, “Jean’s Turkish donors would’ve been so proud.”
And doesn’t anybody remember the banner hanging on the wall at her victory party when she won that 11-way GOP Primary in 2005? The Blower does.
Speaking of Ohio’s poorly represented Second Congressional District, what a lame website. No updates in two months, no “thank you” for all those who voted for him. You’d think the guy lost the election, but he “WON” a primary. Ten weeks ago.
Now his campaign mangler is a Career Courthouse Crony unaccustomed to working for a living. The Sycamore Street Suckup needed a place to go so that Tracy Winkler could bring in an out-of-work Greed Township Trustee (who also happens to employ Tracy’s daughter at the cash-burning Greed Township Community and Senior Center). RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP eased the Suckup out of the Courthouse and into what looked like a cakewalk election so the Suckup would double his over-tax-payer paid salary next year as Dr. McDreamy’s District Director. Trouble is, in moving bureaucrats around to stroke his ego as kingmaker, Party Chairman Alex Trebeck is putting several of his candidates in “JEOPARDY!”
READING THE TEA LEAVES: Local Tea Party Patriots attended an “American Majority Activist” Training Session on Saturday. Main speakers wereClermont Tea Party Chairman Ted Stevenot and the Ohio Liberty Council’s Chris Littleton. Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen even stopped by to pick up a few pointers. (All three are The Blower’s Faux Facebook “Friends” so we can’t rip on any of them today.)
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for what used to be the Drive-in Movie Season, we found this licentious limerick by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Remembering When,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Friday Night Fun”
The demise of the drive-in is sad
There was so much fun to be had
To hell with the movie
There was something more groovy
To make all the sex organs glad.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says Kenton County Republicans are wondering whether the Original Gadfly Will “The Thrill” Terwort lied to the Bluegrass Fishwrap about being employed as a “legal assistant” (since the fly-by-nite law school grad can’t pass the Bluegrass Bar exam) or if he lost his job as a grocery bagger at Rempke’s market in Hebron. Maybe some of The Blower’s Boone County snitches can do a little investigation next time they need groceries! Regardless, The Thrilla’s only qualifications to serve in the KY Senate are “cream & sugar?” or “would you like paper or plastic?”
THIS WEEK IN KENTON CIRCUIT COURT: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders glorious e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features a felonious football player named Willie Williams who, believe it or not, isn’t a Cincinnati Bungal! What a relief! Seems Willie was caught on video breaking into a palatial estate in the good city of Ft. Mitchell. Willie says “If it weren’t for instant replay, I’d be a free man!”
FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT UPDATE: The family of a 16-year-old fatally shot by a Cincinnati police officer last August on Fountain Square has filed a federal lawsuit against the officers involved and the police department. It looks like Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters isn’t letting a little thing like his suspension by the Bluegrass Bar Association keep him from filing more frivolous lawsuits in Ohio. 
THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane if his publication what he thought about “Junketing Jean” Schmidt and her DemocRAT gal pals on an over-taxed payer funded trip keeping their heads covered in Afghanistan according to Muslim law. “Those scarves weren’t enough,” our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher explained. “Those bitches should’ve been wearing burkas so their faces would be fully covered because even God thinks they’re ugly.”
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “169” days away and the May 22 Bluegrass Primaries are just two days away.
Monday is “National Memo Day,” which is always in May 21. Unfortunately, we missed the memo explaining why.
Tuesday is “Bluegrass Primary Day,” and we can hardly wait to see if our predictions are correct one more time.
Wednesday will be “Lucky Penny Day” and The Blower will be putting in its “two-cents worth.”
Thursday is “National Escargot” So let’s go out and eat some snails. Actually, it was supposed to arrive earlier in the year, but you know how slow snails are.
And the first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “Each year at the Taste of the ‘Natti.”
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Link of the Day
American Crossroads: “Great II”
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