Sunday, May 6, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when was when Obama was unable to convince the Joint Chiefs of Staff to nominate him for the Medal of Honor for his actions of May 2, 2011, so he decided to award himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom instead.
During his address to the Global Community from Afghanistan, Supreme Commander-in-Chief Obama had Afghan President Karzai to hold the coveted award while he ran his head through the ribbon himself. “It is altogether fitting and appropriate that we do this,” said our new National Hero. “My actions on that momentous day will forever mark a new beginning in decision making, when the elimination call of terrorist has-beens are again validated by the wisdom of the Excellency in the White House Situation Room,” he added.
“I’m already envisioning the National Mausoleum that will one day grace the National Mall with the embalmed body of my First Pride, for all of posterity to see on every May 1 from that day to eternity,” waxed a proud First Mother Michelle Obama.
Yes, I want to say I agree with the DemocRATS that not everyone would have pulled the trigger on Bin Laden. After all, how many chances did Bill Clinton have to do it?
OUR NUMBER TWO LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus said everybody couldn’t stop laughing over Dylan Byers’ revelation that the “New York girlfriend” who played a significant role in Obama’s bogus autobiography “Dreams From My Father” didn’t actually exist.
Is there anything about Obama that isn’t a total fraud?
So why didn’t anybody notice until now? Maybe it’s because, just like with Obama’s “Dog Story,” Obama Supporters in the Press were too busy giving Obama a pass in 2008 and couldn’t bother to check his background.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was a when the percentage of Americans working or looking for work fell to its lowest level in more than 30 years, just as Obama’s re-election campaign was supposedly officially beginning in Ohio and Virginia this weekend.
This can’t exactly be good news for Obama, no matter how he tries to spin it, because this stark ‘participation’ figure of the proportion of Americans in work will underline the sense of continued crisis at a time when the views of many voters on the economy are just beginning to become focused for the Presidential Election in November.
Presumptive Republican nominee Mitt Romney pounced on the figures to reinforce his central message that Obama, who supposedly inherited a 7.8 % unemployment rate from President George W. Bush, cannot be trusted to manage the economy.
Although the April unemployment rate dropped to 8.1 per cent, this was mainly due to discouraged workers giving up hope and leaving the labor force. Despite the slow reduction in the unemployment rate from its 2009 high of 10%, three quarters of Americans believe the country is still in recession.
Only 115,000 jobs were added in April, the lowest number since a slow economic recovery began last August, and the number of people in work fell by 342,000.
British politician Benjamin Disraeli said, “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” Obviously, Obama’s Labor Department that comes up with these bogus monthly unemployment reports uses all three.
MONDAY in our Special “Honesty Day” E-dition, The Blower retold Rodney Dangerfield’s joke: “The problem with political jokes is that they get elected!”:
This month started with dishonesty, white lies, trickery, and our “Annual Whistleblower Apology E-dition” on April Fool’s Day, so we’re trying to end the month on a slightly higher note. Today’s “national holiday” supposedly encourages honesty in the workplace and the marketplace and to honor the honorable” with a focus on “a nationwide emphasis this coming year on honesty to prevent the increasing examples of lying and fraud that are harming society and damaging our nation’s quality of life,” according to the holiday’s creator, M. Hirsh Goldberg, former press secretary to a governor of Maryland.
Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says people were asked to rank professions in terms of who is the most honest in the 2011 Gallup Annual Honesty and Ethics Poll. Nurses topped the list, along with pharmacists, medical doctors, high school teachers, and police officers.
Still the least honest and ethical among us were members of Congress, lobbyists, car salespeople, telemarketers, and advertising practitioners
Whistleblower researchers have been working around the clock trying to find an “Honest Elected Official” among today’s office holders. The only ones who’ve ever come close to being honest have always been voted out of office for trying to tell the truth.
TUESDAY in our Special “It’s Mayday in America!”” E-dition, The Blower said, “Hooray, Hooray, It’s the First of May, because Outdoor Screwing Begins Today!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Sorry we couldn’t find any “Honest Elected Officials” for yesterday’s “Honesty Day Edition.” —Whistleblower Researchers
It was easy to make jokes about Obama at Saturday Night’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner. All I had to do was tell the truth. —Jimmy Kimmel
That’s why we chose Will Rogers, “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Obama even joked about eating dogs Saturday night. How’s that for being honest? —Obama Supporters in the Press
That’s why I said “I never lie.” —White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Carboard
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Obama’s End Zone Celebration” E-dition, The Blower asked if a 15-yard penalty was enough:
Hurley the Historian said last year on this date there was a spontaneous gathering on Fountain Square at noon to celebrate the Death of Osama bin Laden. Our good friend Bill Sloat’s son (USAF pilot) and thousands of others had joined and served to do what was right, and to right the great wrong. Bill said he’d be at the square at noon waving a U.S. flag and singing the Star Spangled Banner and was inviting others to join with him.
Our young men and women had sent Osama bin Laden to answer to God. We should’ve rejoiced, then prayed for peace. At that point, 5,493 service people had been killed, thousands more had been wounded. We should’ve remembered the 9/11 victims and all that t chaos and destruction. It was truly an historic day. Justice had been served. And for a brief moment during the Obama Administration, America was united.
THURSDAY, in our Special “May Day Mayhem” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Did anybody even show up at Piatt Park?”:
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says on May Day, a group of five men, three of whom listed their occupation on Facebook as “Occupy Cleveland,” were arrested in an alleged plot to bomb a bridge in Cleveland. In CNN’s coverage of the story, they note that the FBI uncovered the scheme when an FBI employee, “attended a protest group’s event.” That event, was the Occupy Cleveland Protest on October 21, 2011.
Why does the Liberal news media downplay the Occupy connection? Because many prominent DemocRATS including Nancy Pelosi, Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown, and Ohio Congresswoman Betty Sutton continue to praise the movement. The most progressive D-RATS understand that the Occupy Movement is an ally in their cause.
Is anybody other than the Ohio Liberty Council (OLC) reacting to the failed terrorist attack in Cleveland by calling for a full investigation of Occupy movement throughout the state? Didn’t these folks hold “training camps” for activists in Ohio where attendees were trained to “create havoc?.”
And does this mean those terrorist wannabes won’t be joining thousands of like-minded people working to share their direction of the country Saturday morning in Columbus, and cheering Michelle and Obama for what is claimed to be the first big rally of this campaign
Real Republicans in Ohio are now waiting to see how Boob Bennett responds to his first big test as Ohio RINO Party Boss to suck some of the air out of national media attention that Obama Supporters in the Press will be giving their endorsed candidate to dominate the news cycle on Saturday.
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FRIDAY in our Special “Young Obama in Love”” E-dition, The Blower wondered why it’s taken nearly six years for the media to start vetting Obama’s past:
This week, here’s why the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said Obama made up an imaginary girlfriend for his book:
(A) Didn’t think anybody would every check: 2% (B) Some people thought he was gay at the time: 2% (C) Thought autobiographies were fiction: 2% (D) His real girlfriend was inflatable: 94%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
SATURDAY in our Special “English Version of Our Illegal Aliens” E-dition, The Blower said, “Hooray-O, Hooray-O, It’s Cinco De Mayo. Outdoor Sexual Relations begin Today-O!:
Non-Hispanic Lower Price Hill residents who don’t yet “Habla Espanol” may not be familiar with today’s mucho grande “Cinco de Mayo Festival.” Today’s “Fifth of May Celebration” gives our maracas-shaking news media something else to hype and commemorates just another Mexican battlefield victory over the French. That victory eventually led to today’s illegal Mexican immigration, the spread of Taco Bell restaurants all over America, and our most recent swine flu epidemic.
Whistleblower Research suggests Cinco de Mayo was created by American Latinos. It’s just like Kwanzaa set to a Latin beat.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
REPUBLICANS IN 2012: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says the Republican National Committee is was trying to get ahead of Obama’s official campaign kickoff in Ohio and Virginia on Saturday with a media blitz labeling his re-election drive the “Hype & Blame” tour. Republican officials plan to call attention to Obama’s pledge to deliver millions of jobs in infrastructure and “green energy,” arguing that he has failed to deliver on those promises. Both states are key battlegrounds in this year’s campaign; Obama won both states four years ago after Republican George W. Bush won them in the previous two presidential elections.
OBAMA 2012: Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say this weekend, the Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House were spam-gramming their local e-mail list with a bogus e-mail from Obama, trying get people to take part in Saturday’s big rally in Columbus. If you couldn’t camp out all night waiting to get in, you could always watch it on streaming video. And if you couldn’t watch it, you could always send a donation.
BREAKING NEWS: Obama launched his campaign in unspectacular fashion on Saturday. According to ABC News, the Obama campaign had expected an “overflow” of people. Instead, the arena looked half-empty. The “Columbus Dispatch” reported Obama organizers even had people move from the seats to the floor of the gym in order to project a larger crowd on television.
- OHIO RINO PARTY: And it’s a good thing the Romney Campaign and the Republican National Committee were trying to get ahead of Obama’s official campaign kickoff in Ohio and Virginia on Saturday with a media blitz labeling his re-election drive the “Hype & Blame” tour. Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett needs all the help he can get.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says President Obama officially launched his reelection campaign Saturday with appearances in Ohio and Virginia, states critical to his reelection, and recent polling shows both are in play. But overall, it’s been another so-so week for the president, with his well-received plan for winding down the war in Afghanistan offset by another anemic jobs report.- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s “President Obama has come up with a new campaign slogan — ‘Forward’ — that’s the slogan. And believe me, if unemployment doesn’t improve by November, it’ll be “Forward my mail.”
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says, “Not that you’ll probably be reading too much about it in the Mainstream Media today, but on this date in 1945 we were all celebrating our victory over the Nazis in Europe.”
- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose President Harry Truman’s “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”
VOTER FRAUD: A DOJ official responded to that video released by James O’Keefe’s Project Veritas that shows a D.C. poll worker offering Attorney General Eric Holder’s ballot to an undercover activist: “It’s no coincidence that these so-called examples of rampant voter fraud consistently turn out to be manufactured ones.”
In other words, there wouldn’t be any holes in the system if conservative activists would stop pointing them out.
MEDIA MENDACITY: Newsbusters’ Noel Sheppard asks, “Is PMSNBC’s Chris Matthews stupid, dishonest, or both?”
On Friday’s “Hardball,” the host actually said of today’s report from the Department of Labor, “The unemployment rate did drop to 8.1 percent, the lowest rate since President Obama took office.”
Actually, Obama’s term began with unemployment at 7.8 % We’re used to liberal media members distorting economic data for this president’s benefit. But to falsely say unemployment is now at “the lowest rate since” Obama took office is either the height of ignorance, dishonesty, or both. Sadly, this is pretty commonplace on this so-called “news network” these days.
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #130 is an anagram: “President Barack Hussein Obama = A Democrat speaks inane rubbish.”
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: Yesterday’s entry outing “CincyCapell” and “Richard A Brockelmann” as Price Hill resident Craig Hochscheid led to their busiest day of traffic ever. They are not surprised by this, as Hochscheid has spent five years anonymously making racist attacks, anti-Semitic slurs, harassing phone calls and emails, sexist attacks, and numerous other unfounded smears against good people just because they do not share his extreme left-wing views. Hochscheid will likely continue being one of Cincinnati’s most low-brow residents, but thanks to the work of some anti-tax activists he can’t do it anonymously anymore.
SEX IN SCHOOLS: Let’s review some continuing information about a few of the terrible people in the Mason schools. We told you earlier this week about married Mason high school assistant principal, the gapped-tooth creep George E. Coates e-mailing Mason high school teacher Stacy Schuler photos of his penis, just before Schuler was arrested on multiple sex felony charges.
What punishment did Coates receive for his actions? None at all. Mason stopped his suspension procedure. He then resigned from Mason, and is now an assistant principal at Moore Haven high school in Moore Haven, Florida, a school in the Glades County school district. You can look up Coates’ current Florida certification here: http://www.fldoe.org/edcert/public.asp We hear Coates is getting along with his, uh, activities there.
DIRT-DIGGING DEMOCRATS: point out that for all the supposed gains to GOP prospects from redistricting, Republicans have already lost two of their own. Congressman Steve Austria opted against running for re-election after his district was sliced up, and Junketing Jean Schmidt was ousted in a GOP primary by a physician with no elective experience.- MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: While The Fishwrap was quick to report that our Lame-Duck Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt had only raised $5,000 for her legal expense fund (Some kind souls at an outfit called “Global Eclipse, LLC” sent her a check at the end of January), our Feckless Fishwrappers forgot to tell you the rest of the story. The names of the owners of Global Eclipse, LLC are Ugur Koyluoglu, Cenay Havacilik, EA Havacilik, and Ekim Alptekin. We’ll give you three guesses on their ethnic origin! Here’s a hint, they didn’t observe Armenian Martyr’s day last Tuesday!
HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: In case you didn’t receive his Thursday press release announcing “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s new campaign manager, Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex Triantafillou (pronounced Alex) who’ll be Blogging Till the RINOS come home, is now celebrating that back-room deal he just made.- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: there was a big meeting of religious leaders to promote racial healing this week at The Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center. Guess which presidential candidate they’re all supporting.
THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): The Cincinnati city clown-cil public safety committee met Tuesday afternoon to discuss yet again black-on-black violence in the city. Mayor Mark Mallory, city mangler Dough Boy Honey, and ignorant police chief James Craig and clown-cil aren’t concerned at all about black-on-white violence. Apparently, black-on-white violence is quite acceptable to them.
The real underlying reason for these multiple city discussions is an under-the-table effort to coerce the broke city clown-cil to continue paying huge money payouts to a private group called Cincinnati Initiative to Reduce Violence. How is CIRV doing so far in reducing violence? The fact is, they haven’t reduced violence in the least. CIRV is a black money soaking sponge with no results. That kind sounds like Welfare.
- FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: Bob and Doug McKenzie report Monroe City Schools are broke. Now they want to send all the children to Middletown’s failed schools. They will surely get a good education with Lebanon City Schools rejecting Sam Ison in charge of Middletown Schools. That’s what happens when you spend all your money of a football field and nobody shows up to pay admission.
IN ANDERSON: Trustee “In Russ We Trust?” Jackson says, “Even if our population (excluding all that Section 8 housing) is only 95.9% Caucasian, you can still find 437 Mexican restaurants that have not yet closed during the Obama recession, and every one of them will give you Montezuma’s Revenge.” The Forrest Gump School Board still threatens to change the Anderson Redskins’ team name to Aztecs if voters don’t approve a 28% tax hike they plan to put on the next ballot, so everybody in Anderson would have to piss away another $500-per-year in jacked-up property taxes and those over-paid administrators can keep their over-paid jobs. And Liberal loonies like Greater Andersonians Promoting Peace say we should all feel just as guilty about Mexicans as we do about homosexuals, Blacks, and other minorities. - CLERMONT COUNTY: John Becker, an obscure GOP State Rep-tile candidate from Clermont County, has endorsed Rob “Fighting for Fund-raisers” Portman for Mitt Romney’s running mate. Never in the annals of suck-upery have we seen anything quite so blatant.
READING THE TEA LEAVES: Local Tea Party Patriots have things so under control, this weekend they’re trekking to Indianapolis to rally for Richard Mourdock, who’s running in next Tuesday’s Indiana Primary against 36-year RINO incumbent Dick Lugar. Would this be before, or after they demonstrate against Obama in Columbus?
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for to enjoy the warmer Spring weather, we found this special springy poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Sonnets for All Seasons,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“It Might As Well Be Spring Fever”
I’m glad that Spring is finally here,
It brings some warmer breezes.
But it also brings more allergies,
With watery eyes and sneezes.
TROUBLED TAILGATER TINO DELGATO: With the death of Chicago Bears Defensive back David Duerson and Junior Seau the impact of Head Trauma and Concussions is coming out. Look for another Law suit against the NFL. That will make around 150 so far but they will all be coming out of the wood work soon. The head trauma will be found to cause most everything. I look for some fan that has gone to NFL games to sue the NFL for “Tailgate Trauma” or Hangover Monday and loss of job status. Smoking can cause cancer and Pro football can cause head trauma. So maybe one should not smoke or play Pro Football. Go Figure!!!
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says since today is Derby Day, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders heard stories about that friendship Charles Foster Kane and Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel enjoyed with Queen Elizabeth, who will be boycotting this year’s Kentucky Derby for the fifth year in a row.
Linda and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane would’ve liked to have gotten together with Lizzie once again, since the pair have been exchanging Christmas cards with Her Majesty ever since that time the three were together at Will Farish’s Lane’s End Farm in 1991.
Linda especially remembers three years ago at the Queen’s Derby Reception when everybody started showing family pictures to each other, and the Queen pulled out a photo of Prince Charles and his new wife Camilla.
Linda also reminded our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher that she was the one responsible for insisting that people who applied for Whistleblower subscriptions be “Persons of Consequence,” but she had nothing to do with The Blower’s current policy, where persons who’ve been found to have misrepresented themselves as consequential movers and shakers, are declared “Persons of Inconsequence,” and then are removed from The Blower’s e-mail list without notice.
Alternative Life-style Editors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis like Derby Day at Churchill Downs when they sing “My Old Kentucky Home,” especially the part about the “Gay Darkies.”
- THIS WEEK IN KENTON CIRCUIT COURT: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sandersrosy red e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features some serious thugs gettin sentenced to serious time and a few the of the ugliest mugs we’ve seen yet. But curiously no mention of Eric ………. Deters 61+ days and counting suspension from the practice of law in the great Commonwealth of Kentucky. Billy Bob the Bluegrass Bailiff is pretty sure he heard the Robster say “There’s no reason to kick a dog when it’s down, not even a bulldog… especially when you’re standing on the dog’s head and need that foot to keep him there in the first place!”
- THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders from both sides of the river were asking Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo about “Eric Call Me Crazy” Deters’ suspension. Several Persons of Consequence had noticed The Blower’s item asking if anybody had looked up “Crazy Eric’s” membership information on the Kentucky Bar Association web site lately? It still shows his license is suspended, despite the fact his 61 days were up on April 25. Under “Status,” it says “Former Member – Suspended-Discip. 180 Days or less” What’s up with that?
Do you think our Feckless Followers at The Fishwrap saw that little item? Because the next morning, there was Jim Hannah’s big front page sob story all about how “Crazy Eric” still didn’t have his law license back. The on-line version even had a photo galley of Crazy Eric’s publicity photos.
Curiously, however, in that long list of Crazy Eric’s courtroom catastrophes, there was nary a mention of Crazy Eric’s most embarrassing loss last year— when on October 27, 2011, after nearly fourteen months of intense litigation, Attorney Eric C. Deters finally dismissed his frivolous lawsuit with prejudice against Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and The Blower. And in accordance with settlement terms prepared by ACLU National General Counsel, acting as our attorney, The Whistleblower (long a champion of Free Speech, the First Amendment, and Fair Play), was pleased to publish Attorney Eric C. Deters’ unedited response sent to our counsel on October 25, 2011.
You don’t think The Fishwrap purposely left out any mention of the part The Blower might have played in Deters’ Downfall?
Maybe that’s why Award-winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception captioned it this way: “Your Honor I would like to request a short recess. The Whistleblower’s letter of commendation is blank.”
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “183” days away and the Bluegrass primary in May 22 is 16 days away.
Monday we’ll be getting ready for Armed Forces Day on Saturday, and The Blower will be trying to find out what our American heroes are really fighting for.
Tuesday is “Victory in Europe Day (V-E Day),” commemorating the end of fighting in Europe during World War II. Obama will no doubt be taking full credit for that military victory too.
Wednesday will be “Lost Sock Memorial Day” recognizes your drawer full of unmatched socks.
Thursday, will be “Clean Up Your Room Day” which parents eagerly await……….. and kids dread!
And the first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “When your girlfriend doesn’t really exist” in honor of Obama’s “Composite.”
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
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