Monthly Archives: April 2012

Special “Presidential Travel” E-dition —

Saturday, April 28, 2012

White House Clears Itself on Travel Violations

  • Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says these days everybody’s talking about that paltry $467,585 over-taxed payers borrowed to pay for Michelle’s vacation to Spain last year. Edward Cropper calls her “Just a Typical American Tourist.” Maybe even Blue-collar DemoRAT voters in swing states, stuck taking depressing “stay-cations” because they can’t afford gas and hotels, are finally becoming resentful of the first family’s 17 lavish vacations around the world and don’t want to borrow more money from the Chinese, just to pay for the Obamas’ holidays. The Blower’s only been complaining about that for the past three years.

Speaking of the Obamas’ outrageous “Traveling Expenses,” at Thursday’s press conference, GOP House Speaker John Boehner took the White House to task for campaigning on over-taxed payers’ dime – at a cost of $179,000 per hour on Air Force One – and trying to manufacture a fight with Congress over an issue (keeping student loan rates low) that both parties are working on.  “The president keeps attempting to create these fake fights because he doesn’t have a record of success or a positive agenda for the country,” Boehner said. “It’s as simple as this: The emperor has no clothes.” But Michelle is making sure you can’t say that about the Empress.

And White House press secretary Jay Cardboard was hammered by ABC News’ Jake Tapper to explain the difference between “official events” and “campaign events” when it comes to Obama using federal money to fly around on Air Force One.

Let’s face it: if over-taxed payers are just now getting upset because they’re paying for the Obama’s lavish lifestyles, just think how much of their money Obama’s re-election campaign is costing them. Obama’s “Billion Dollar Re-election” isn’t how much money he’s trying to raise for lying TV ads. It’s how much it’s costing over-taxed payers for Obama to hop on Air Force One for his daily campaigning and fund-raising.

Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose just received a spam-gram from Obama’s Re-election Campaign at the White House. This one was supposed to be from Michelle selling chances for dinner with Obama and George Clooney on May 10. Meanwhile, the audience at New York University snickered when Vice President Joe Biden bragged “Obama ‘Has A Big Stick. I Promise You’.” Biden’s double entendres are always good for a laugh.  

  • Speaking of Travelocity, folks hereabouts are still wondering why “Junketing Jean” Schmidt cancelled her plans for another free trip to Afghanistan at the last minute. Our Dirt-Digging DemocRATS say maybe she wanted to stay in Washington for this year’s “Republicans in Drag Awards.”
  • Speaking of guys in drag, check out the dreadlocks on the Bungals’ number one instant millionaire NFL draft pick, Dre Kirkpatrick.  
  • Troublemaking Tailgater Tino Delgato says during the NFL draft, it gets a little old watching the green room where all the prospects are seated. Many draftees have their “extended” family, illegitimate children, sycophant entourage of supposed friends, girlfriend de jour and of course their agent. They must hug EACH of them for the cameras before going out to the stage. Why not hug AHEAD of time and put the draftees in a room with Mom, Dad, and a wife and without these future parasites. Go Figure!!!
  •  Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says when they draft a new player and sign him, the person needs to be measured for his uniform, right?  Why not share those measurements with the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office to save time when the inevitable arrest and booking occurs? Semper Si and Deputy Dog Donovan would be wise to hang on to their Bungal-size gear for the next player-felon to come along.
  • Did former City Clown-cil Member Jim Tarbell really scoop up some of that crappy property along the City’s Trolley Folly route? Award-winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception says it looked like this.
  • Tax-and-Spenders in Wyoming (the City, not the State) say Clown-cil woman Vivacious Vicki Zwissler shouldn’t complain about giving a developer a defunct restaurant property the Hamilton County Auditor values at $443,000, along with $270,000 for repairs and improvements on the developer’s BFD “promise” to bring 25 jobs to the City. At least it’s not another Million Dollar Mahogany’s Soul Food Bistro, like Cincinnati City Clown-sale gave away at the Banks.
  • Meanwhile, it won’t be the official Saturday Morning Market you’ll see open today on Five Mile. It’s just the Anderson Asparagus Growers offering some of the spring produce they tend to miss when the open late in May.
  • Hurley the Historian says a lot happened on this date in history: In 1789, Fletcher Christian led the Mutiny on the Bounty. In 1945 Benito Mussolini was executed by a mob and strung upside down from a lamp post. In 1967, boxing champion Muhammad Ali refused to be inducted into the U.S. Army and was immediately stripped of his heavyweight title. In 1970, Nixon approved the Cambodian incursion. Hurley says he wasn’t sure which event to celebrate today but then he decided to enjoy Italian tonight.
  • Finally at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how much it was costing over-taxed payers for Obama to use Air Force One for his re-election campaigning and fundraising.

“What if Obama removed the American flag from the tail fin and replaced it with his campaign logo?” Kane asked. “Do you think anybody would notice?”


Bluegrass Bell-Ringers

  • Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says with only 24 more days until the May 22 GOP Primary Elections, if the weather’s nice this weekend, it would be a good time for volunteers for all of those Republican candidates running for Goof Doofus’ seat in Congress to be going door-to-door, passing out information to prospective voters.  Saturday night would also be a good time to ride around tearing down opponents’ yard signs.
  • And did Vanilla Hills Mayor Mike Martin ever get an earful from Kenton County Circuit Court Judge Patricia Summe Thursday afternoon, when she asked why anyone would think it was OK to burn city documents, just because those documents might be evidence in a lawsuit against him. The Blower can hardly wait to hear that report from Taliaferro, Carran, and Keys Monday night at River Ridge Elementary School.  The law firm is acting as special counsel to investigate allegations of Martin’s retaliatory behavior and comments, misuse of city facilities, and improper disposition of city property. He’s also accused of violating open records laws, improper administration of the civil service ordinance, and bidding and purchasing concerns. Meanwhile, former Vanilla Hills Mayor Mike Sadouskas asks himself every day how he ever lost the election to a bozo like Mike Martin.
  • And did you hear the story about little Steve Megerle and one of his buddies parking his little two-seater sports car in a city lot in the 400 block of Madison Avenue? On his return, he saw it on the back of Jess N Son’s tow truck heading to the impound lot. Little Stevie chased the wrecker driver on foot for about one block trying to get him to stop. He asked the driver why he towed his car, and the driver told him that the meter maid requested it towed because he owed $220 in unpaid parking tickets. So then he had to go pay all of the parking tickets, and had to ride the bus to Jess N Son’s garage and pay $80 more for the towage. Did Little Stevie really stack all those unpaid parking tickets together to sit on them so he could see over the steering wheel?
  • Special Days for today include “Great Poetry Reading Day” and “Kiss Your Mate Day.” Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says there’s no limit to the number of times you can kiss your mate today, or rules on the part of the anatomy you can kiss, but he recommends that you limit your kisses to just one mate.
  • Secretaries on the South Shore couldn’t stop thanking The Blower for this week’s Secretary’s Day Special.
  • An e-mail advertising the Northern Kentucky Symphony Orchestra’s May 12 concert in Florence has links to some of the music scheduled to be played. No kidding. If they included all the songs, you wouldn’t have to buy a ticket.  
  • Finally, Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $2.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.

This week we’re featuring Norbert Bleek, a cute little 8-year-old from Northern Kentucky whose mother couldn’t afford to buy him new Nike gym shoes and Polo T-shirts all the time, so Norbert was forced to wear his older sister’s tattered, out-of-style, hand-me-down dresses. For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department. 


  OBAMA TRAVEL RESENTMENT HOTLINE

e-mail your offended feelings today.

Some “Staycationing” items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally “Staycationing”  subscribers.  


Link of the Day

Obama Claims he’s He’s Visited 57 States


Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here