Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Happy Secretary’s Day, Gals!
Oh, we’re not calling it “Secretary’s Day” anymore. We’re supposed to say “Administrative Professionals Day,” so you little ladies can feel better about your hum drum jobs. Now would you mind getting us a cup of coffee?
Hurley the Historian says this made-up holiday was created in 1952 by a Young and Rubicam advertising executive who found a way to give his secretary something that didn’t cost money.
No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Barry Goldwater’s “I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, that’s fine!” Is that some Compassionate Conservatism or what!
Male Chauvinist Employers of America explain why they changed the name of today’s “Secretary’s Day” holiday to “Administrative Professionals Day.” It was cheaper than giving the gals a raise.
The Unemployment Office says tomorrow on “Take Your Daughter to Work Day during the Obama Recession,” you can always bring her here.
Way back when, in The Original Whistleblower edition that came out April 23, 1991, our Top Ten List was the things a boss could do for his secretary during Professional Secretaries Week to make her feel really special. We showed our bad taste even then.
Our good friend Joe Braun says they’ll really be celebrating “Secretary’s Day” in a special way at Patty Brisben’s Dildo World, Strauss & Troy’s favorite client in Loveland, Ohio.- Finally, now that Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters is no longer suspended from practicing law in Kentucky, members of “The Cabal Out to Destroy Him” are wondering when The Blower will be publishing its undercover report on how “Crazy Eric” plans to celebrate this very special occasion.
Now Little Ladies, maybe we can get back to work so we can publish the rest of this e-dition, one of these days.
SPECIAL SECRETARY’S DAY LINKS
The ‘Mad Men’ Guide to Secretary’s Day
Happy Secretary’s Day from Landalor Industries
Just Shoot Me: Secretary’s Day
The Cincinnati City Mess You Will Only Read About Here
Cincinnati city clown-cil held a special meeting Monday about reducing black-on-black violence. Does this mean they think it’s OK to have black-on-white violence?
Useless and ignorant police chief James Craig, who has no power to enforce the law, spoke to clown-cil and grandstanded to the virtually all black audience and the TV cameras without removing his new custom made black leather outdoor jacket to show off all those silver generals stars on his collars and shoulders. He also wore his self-selected snazzy black shirt that makes him feel like he’s still in a Los Angeles police uniform, since he’s still a legal resident of the state of California.
The only strategy Craig can come up with to reduce violence is yoof programs and giving repeat criminals jobs. It’s always that same-old, same-old with Craig. How about finding jobs for decent law abiding citizens instead of criminals?
The silly mayor and the clown-cil are big on rhetoric on crime, but instead they spend masses of city money on senseless money guzzlers such as outfitting a million dollar soul food restaurant for a deadbeat relative of the mayor, the street car amusement rides to nowhere, and pimping out the City Hall courtyard for wedding ceremonies, despite having every religion known to man within a block.
Isn’t it well past time to get some good leadership in the city, instead of this collection of fools?
Why the Wheels of Justice Grind Slowly
Down at the Hamilton County Courthouse, CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says Judge John West’s work pace gives him the unique distinction of having the largest number of unresolved cases among Hamilton County’s felony court judges (25 % higher than the average caseload of the 15 other Hamilton County Common Pleas Court judges and more than 40 % higher than the state average.) Award-winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception says, “Sometimes being a judge must be really hard work.”
More Sex in Schools
Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel is busy checking out an e-mail that was forwarded from somebody named Tommy Hamer claiming a Superintendent of a local School District is having an affair with the husband of one of her administrative team members. Tommy also suggests the woman went on a cruise during Spring break with a married man. Tommy says he would not make this up to smear the woman or take the chance of being sued. He’s doing it for the children. Do you think it’s possible that “Tommy Hamer” is not the person’s real name?
Meanwhile, Back in Washington, D.C.
Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Edward Cropper, one of Artis’ students at the Conception School of Political Parody, is having a lot of fun these days with his “photo-shopped editorial spoofs on current events.”
“Jay Carney Says White House Cleared From Columbian Scandal As He Introduces New Assistant Press Secretary,” “Being Checked Out Real Good, If You Know What I Mean?,” and Bill Clinton Raising Money for DemocRAT Senate Candidates.”
(See more of Edward Cropper’s work here.)
Bluegrass Ballots
- Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says tonight’s that big Republican Congressional Candidates Debate in Oldham County, and with only 27 more days until the May 22 Primary Election to see who’ll take Goof Doofus’ seat in Congress, The Blower will be there to cover it. You Bet! As the official voice of the Conservative Agenda and the publication of record for all the political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in Northern Kentucky, our readers know to expect nothing less.
Maybe they’ll be talking about some of these items:
That newly formed SuperPAC “Americans for Growth, Opportunity, and Prosperity” is supporting Massie. It is rumored that a major move by the SuperPAC is underway. No details are immediately available, since the SuperPAC is being extremely cautious about being accused of co-coordinating with the Massie campaign.
They have reason to be fearful, because within days of the announcement of the SuperPAC, sources very close to our Trooper Babe’s campaign were quoted as saying “that all the stops are being pulled out by the “party elite” to stop Massie. Big pressure is being applied to friendly local Federal officials immediately to investigate Americans for GOP for potential campaign coordination.”
Curiously, Federal officials took two years to announce the investigation of the GSA. One would think that the Las Vegas party which included over 300 people at a public venue (in which almost $1,000,000 was spent), would have been noticed earlier. Contrast that to a rumored investigation of a small new SuperPAC, only DAYS after it is formed! Ken CamBoo’s snitches are hoping for an announcement of an investigation prior to the May 22 Primary date, just to smear Massie.
- Trooper Babe’s new name is “Alecia Webb-Embarrassment.” After all the help from The Goofster and his friends, her campaign is essentially broke. Looking at her finance report: she has not paid any of her staff, nor media bills, nor Justin Brasell’s outside consulting firm. Her big announcement was the list of 20 (mostly retired) politicians who are endorsing her. It is rumored she hired the same DemocRAT operatives who troll the nursing homes in Covington obtaining signatures on absentee ballots to track down her endorsees!
It’s also interesting to compare this endorsee list of 20 to her donor list. Most are absent from donor list. It is one thing to sign an endorsement; it is another to sign a check! These are many of the same freeloading has-been politicians who habitually showed up at fund-raisers for others, to be seen and enjoy the free eats and drinks, but don’t think they need to write a check.
- Campaign Cash Update: Gary Moore released a mega publicity campaign touting him as the leading money raiser. If you add the amount of money rumored to have been raised by the SuperPAC supporting Massie to the amount the Massie campaign publically reported, Moore is a distant second in money raised and AW-Embarrassment is “in the dust”!
- One has to wonder if Trooper Babe’s endorsements of heavy weights (Goof Doofus and “BeanBall Jim” Bunning will pressure No Moore to get out of the way for weaving our Webb to Congress. Of course, we all know how Goof’s endorsement of Steve Smith for county commissioner sent him packing to Florida instead of the courthouse. We remember too, how Mitch came out and said “I rarely endorse in primaries.” That quickly gave way for Trey Grayson’s one-way ticket to Massachusetts instead of Washington. Hard telling how BeanBall’s nod will help Trooper Babe, but not much either, we are guessing. Maybe back to writing parking tickets!
- Terwort signs have sprung up like toadstools after a spring shower this morning all along Dudley Road. The Blower is surprised his opponents aren’t pulling them out like weeds.
- Finally, in a recent interview with a Blower pollster, Kenton County was named #1 in Kentucky as the “most likely” to see politics filibuster productive progress. Of the three commissioners, Jon Draud was voted most likely to portray unity when he can remember. Kris (knuckles) Knochelman was most likely to have a smile on his front side, while holding a knife on his backside. Beth “What a Jewel” Sewell has set an all-time record as going to the most meetings without showing a grin or anything that resembled a smile. Our advice would be to smile and turn that frown upside down! Come on, Jesus loves you too! Beth should have auditioned for the Allstate commercials. She would have beaten out Bobby Knight.
SECRETARY’S DAY HOT LINE
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