Daily Archives: April 24, 2012

Anti-Social Media E-dition

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Real Tweets from Real Twits

  • If you want to see what this nation has really become during the “Age of Obama,” just look at the twaddle people are Tweeting to each other these days. —Stunned Sociologists
  • We’re all Tweeting more but actually communicating less. —Ordinary Dumbed-down, Self-absorbed, Media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, short-attention-span People  
  • Look what happened when we started sending each other e-mails. —Lazy Letter Writers 
  • And just look at how Tweets are replacing meaningful dialogue. —Gifted Conversationalists
  • You won’t believe how many “Friends” we have. —The Whistleblower Faux FaceBook Page 
  • Tweets make our jobs easier. —English Teachers and Grammarians
  • Remember when we used to spend hours each day writing letters? —Lonely Lovers
  • The so-called social media doesn’t make people more sociable. —Divorce Attorneys
  • Twitter makes it easy for people to spread rumors and lies. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel
  • These days, we have couples text each other to express their true feelings. —Marriage Counselors

  • Twitter makes it easy to spew “Hate Speech” too. —Networking Nazis
  • Just think how we create havoc with Twitter. —Irresponsible Celebrities
  • Social contact enables people with dementia to maintain their level of functioning longer. —Recognized Researchers
  • When we were teenagers, we actually spent hours every day talking to each other on the phone. —Geezer Citizens, Trying to Remember
  • The best part about getting all those Tweets at the newspaper is they don’t take long to read. —Lazy Reporters
  • And printing somebody’s Tweet is easier than getting a real quote. —Furloughed Fishwrappers
  • Why do you think they keep firing our lazy reporters. —Metro Mole
  • Using Twitter, somebody wouldn’t have to call all those press conferences to get my name in the papers. —“JayWalking Joe” Deters
  • Sending out Tweets makes it easy to keep the media interested in your vice presidential campaign. —Rob “Fighting for Facebook” Portman
  • Twitter makes it easy to stay in touch when you’re out of the country. —“Junketing Jean” Schmidt
  • Or just plain “Out of Touch.” —Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
  • With Twitter, I certainly don’t even need a press secretary. —“Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup
  • Scotty loves it whenever I Tweet him. —Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory
  • Disgruntled former followers can Tweet you anonymously. —Goof Doofus
  • Did everybody see my Tweet about the end of my Bluegrass Bar Association suspension? —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
  • Who started this Twitter madness anyhow? —Hurley the Historian
  • Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to Tweet free. —Your Quote for Today Committee
  • You won’t believe how much all those suckers are willing to pay for cell phones and wireless service. — AT&T, Verizon, Sprint Nextel, and T-Mobile

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

          Sometimes The Blower ridicules Twitterers to show that Time-wasting Tweeting is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t reading this message on his cell phone.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Faux FaceBook Friends.    

TWITTERING TWITS HOTLINE

e-mail your Terrible Tweets today.

Some social networking items in today’s Blower were sent in by our social networking subscribers.

Twitterers Link of the Day

Code Class at Twitter!

 

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