Sunday, April 22, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when The Blower said a picture was worth a thousand words. The picture of the back of the head of the most famous white Hispanic in the world more than proves that quote and destroys the case filed by the Florida special prosecutor for murder in the second degree, a charge that hinges upon malice, evil intent, or other willful action taken without justification by George Zimmerman.
When liberal Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz immediately began blasting Angela Corey for her “thin” affidavit charging Zimmerman and claiming the first time a judge got a look at her case, it would be thrown out as fast as today’s Fishwrap, you knew something was really stinking up the Florida legal system.
Just as predicted, the first judge to look at the case set bond for Zimmerman despite the prosecution’s demand that he be denied bond, or that it at least be a million dollars cash money, and Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and all those other racial racketeers demanding Zimmerman be hanged and then there could be a fair trial.
Lest you think The Blower is being unfair to racial racketeers this week, look at the ABC photo and judge for yourself.
OUR NUMBER TWO LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was our “Bam Bites Dog” story when every dog had his day.
Last week, the Obama Attack Machine was casting about looking for a can’t-lose, most-important-topic-of-the-month to slam Republicans in the press with, and the the main stream media found about old tale of the Romneys going on vacation from Massachusetts to Canada 25 years ago, and not having room inside the car with the parents and five sons, they took their dog along in a car top carrier complete with windscreen instead of putting him into a kennel for two weeks. So the White House sent a picture of Obama with the dog Teddy Kennedy gave him in the Presidential limousine as the way true dog transported his dog.
Edward Cropper’s photo-shopped editorial spoof on current events showed a different take, when Obama told his lap dog David how lucky he was to be riding inside the limo.
Unfortunately, Obama had written in his autobiography that when he lived in Indonesia he had eaten snakes, grasshoppers, and would you believe, dog so often that he got used to it. The Blower is waiting for Obama to blame George Bush for making him misspeak in his autobiography.
The Blower also has asked its pollster Ron Rassmussen to conduct a scientific poll of registered dogs to see if they would prefer to be taken on vacation or to be eaten.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was a couple of President Obama’s Secret Service guards were scouting out Columbia for Obama’s current junket/ vacation/ campaign trip and when sampling what was being offered, confused the charge for that night’s investigation and sampling and offered $25 to settle the $800 bill. After all was said and done, including several agents, the up-till-then asleep media began looking at Facebook pages and other media confess-all sites for all of the vacationing agents.
Now a couple of Obama’s Secret Service guys were scouting out Columbia (the country, not the university) for Obama’s recent junket/ vacation/ campaign trip and when sampling what was being offered, confused the charge for the night of investigation and sampling and offered only $25 to settle the $800 bill. After all was said and done, including several agents, the up-till-then asleep media began looking at Facebook pages and other media confess-all sites for all of the vacationing agents.
Lo and behold, somebody found a picture of Sarah Palin’s Secret Service guard standing behind Sarah carefully watching her world class ass and bragging about it, You Betcha! Mama Grizzly has loaded her moose rifle and the Secret Service isn’t so secret anymore, and that now ex-agent best be watching his own ass these days. Why is it Obama’s Supporters in the Press can’t do a story about one of Obama’s scandals without finding a way to blame Sarah Palin?
Then we remembered those ads last century about the man in the Foster Grant sunglasses. Well now we know what they were looking at, and who could blame those Secret Service guys, after having to guard the likes of Hillary and her homely offspring?
MONDAY in our Special “The Tax Man Cometh” E-dition, The Blower asked if you remembered when America was founded to avoid taxation and offered three quick fixes:
Disingenuous DemocRATS and Obama Supporters in the Press may still be blaming President Bush for everything that’s ever gone wrong in the country since the Battle of Bunker Hill, but tomorrow will still be your dreaded TAX DAY and The Blower once again offers these three common-sense suggestions to fix our whole tax-and-spending mess:
No withholding. No phony refunds. If folks had to write really big checks on TAX DAY, they’d actually know how much they’re paying.
Until we have a simple flat tax without all that paperwork, over-paid Congressmen should be forced to fill out every one of their constituents’ tax forms for free.
Hold EVERY election on TAX DAY!
Then we wondered if “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup or any of those Latter-Day Anti-Taxers who spoke Sunday afternoon at the Cincinnati Tea Party’s big Tax Day Rally on Fountain Square would come up with something as simple as this. If they did, everybody who bothered to show up could’ve saved themselves a trip.
TUESDAY in our Special “Death or Taxes” E-dition, The Blower reported some people are still trying to make up their minds and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Obama’s top campaign adviser David Axelrod made it clear on Sunday that Obama has no plans to pay any extra money from to defray the deficit after his tax returns showed he paid a lower effective tax rate than his secretary. He just wants you to pay more. —Fox News
You have to be in the loop to take advantage of tax loopholes. —Millionaires in Congress
Tax Freedom Day in Ohio arrived last week on April 12 this year, when Ohioans earned enough money to pay this year’s tax obligations at the federal, state and local levels. —The Tax Foundation
FDR became a Good DemocRAT on that date in 1945. —Hurley the Historian
That’s why we chose FDR’s “Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Most people don’t have to keep their tax records for more than three years, but if we suspect you’re a tax cheat, we’ll make you produce every document from the day you were born. —Your Friends at the IRS
And Please don’t forget to pay your taxes today. 21 million illegal aliens are depending on you. —Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “US Invasion” E-dition, The Blower was still not on Homeland Security’s extremist list!:
Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1775, Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from Boston, riding to every Middlesex, village, and farm to warn the countryside that the British were coming.
And this morning, our Quote for Today isn’t just bringing you one little quote, they have the whole damn poem. And wouldn’t you know, even way back when, the New York Times was already undermining America’s patriotism.
- THURSDAY, in our Annual “Patriots’ Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “Now for something completely patriotic!”:
Wednesday, we told you how on that date in 1775, Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from Boston, riding to every Middlesex, village, and farm to warn the countryside that the British were coming, and today’s the day in 1775 when Patriots in Lexington and Concord fired the opening volley for liberty.
Hurley the Historian says a lot of blood was shed on this date in American history. Besides 1775, when the shot heard ‘round the world officially began the American Revolution during the Battle at Lexington Green, in 1861, we had the first bloodshed during the Civil War. In 1993, Clinton’s Attorney General Janet Reno blew up David Koresh and his followers at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco; and in 1995, Timothy McVeigh blew up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Now which of these events do you think our Kneepad Liberals in the Press are most likely to mention?
Some people confuse today’s “Patriots’ Day” celebration with George W. Bush’s “Patriot Day” commemoration on September 11.
- FRIDAY in our Special “Dead TV Show Hosts” E-dition, The Blower asked how do they stay looking so young and said “Let’s Play “What’s My Line?”
Remember that old TV game show where celebrity panelists put on blindfolds and tried to guess the identity of a famous person as the mystery guest? Let’s tune in to today’s program.
All those Birthers and After-Birthers out there (including Donald Trump) thought it was Barack Hussein Obama, so we had to give you another clue, because with all the Liberals’ convulsions over Gun Control and Concealed Carry Permits, Hurley the Historian said it was amazing Kneepad Liberals weren’t celebrating Adolph Hitler’s 123nd birthday on Wednesday. After all, if there was ever a guy who believed in Gun Control, it was “der Fuehrer,” and our Quote for Today Committee chose Hitler’s “What luck for rulers that men do not think.”
Noted ACLU Attorney Scott Greenwood was really sad Cincinnati City Clown-cil said Nazis for Peace had to delay their scheduled visit to Cincinnati to commemorate the Hitler’s Birthday. Maybe they’ll be in for Don Imus’ Birthday on July 23. But that shouldn’t stop the rest of us from celebrating with a little Furor over the Fuehrer. So now, from “The Producers,” let’s all sing “Springtime for Hitler”:
- SATURDAY in our Annual “Ecological Warning” E-dition, The Blower reported politicians were using all the mud and we wished everybody a Happy Earth Day:
Since Sunday would be another great day for our Left-Wing Lunatics and Obama Supporters in the Press— because that’s when they’ll all get to whine, complain, and continue to blame George Bush, Congressman Paul Ryan, Tea Party Patriots, Donald Trump, the Whistleblower-Newswire, and the rest of those mean-spirited Republicans for everything on Earth, while at the same time, not coming up with solutions for any of the problems (real or imaginary) they profess to perceive.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose this profound pronouncement from John Davis, editor of the “Earth First! Journal: “Human beings, as a species, have no more value than slugs.”
On the other hand, our good friend Bobby Leach likes the Kentucky Coal Miners Association’s new slogan for Earth Day: “Earth first, we’ll strip mine the rest of the planets later.”
Hurley the Historian says Earth Day was invented by Deranged DemocRAT US Senator Gaylord Nelson from Washington and was held on April 22, 1970 as something the unwashed draft dodgers in college could do with their time when they weren’t busy protest the Vietnam War.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
REPUBLICANS IN 2012: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus there have been a lot of ups and downs in former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich’s 2012 Presidential Primary campaign so far, but this time he may be down and out, because just like in “16 Tons,” every day his campaign gets a another day older and deeper and debt and he’s not getting any more delegates. [SEE THE GOP DELEGATE COUNTER HERE] - VOTER FRAUD: Here’s another kick in the balls for Hamilton County Republicans. Clintonista Judge Mr$. $tan Che$ley finally says it’s OK to count those votes so Disgruntled DemocRAT Tracie Hunter can steal Judge John Williams’ Juvenile Court seat that he won fair and square in November 2010.
OBAMA 2012: Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say the Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House were spam-gramming their e-mail list this week trying to appeal to pet owners.- DIRT-DIGGING DEMOCRATS: looking for more mud to sling at Republicans say don’t be surprised if you don’t seen much of That Lame-Duck Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt any time soon, since she’s signed up for ever junket under the sun during the rest of her time in office. Maybe we should now call her “Junketing Jean.”
OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Conan O’Brien’s: “That Secret Service sex scandal keeps growing. Here’s the latest: Three of the Secret Service agents involved in the sex and cocaine scandal are now leaving the agency. On the bright side, they’re going to have one hell of a going-away party.- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says for the first time, fewer than half (49%) of U.S. homeowners believe their homes are worth more than when they bought them. Not surprisingly, only 18% say now’s a good tie to sell their homes.
- MEDIA MENDACITY: Over at Newsbusters, Noel Sheppard reports for the second week in a row, HBO’s Bill Maher went after Ann Romney, the wife of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney. On Friday’s Real Time, the host said, “I’m not attacking Ann Romney. She’s brought up five very shiny and remarkably lifelike boys.”
OHIO RINO PARTY: Everything seems to be quiet at Ohio RINO Party Headquarters, where Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us why they’re having so much trouble trying to revive former Chairman Boob Bennett.- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #246 says you should Define “Multiculturalism” as the State-sanctioned grievance industry that stokes division and resentment, while always under the delusion that it is doing something positive called “celebrating diversity.”
- FOOLS IN SCHOOLS: At this week’s FCPS Bored of Education meeting Mary “Money Bags” Ronan announced to her employees that their jobs are all in jeopardy and the final ax will fall Wednesday night. After learning about the announcement, failed CFT “president” Julie SellYourSoul immediately sprung into action and did…well…absolutely nothing. Somewhere there exists a “private and special” analysis from the American Federation of Teacher$ but this secret report is nowhere to be found and not available for teachers to view. Why after three years of hiding has SellYourSoul decided to surface and make a complete mockery of what was once a thriving and healthy teachers union?
MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: Down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says they’re still getting calls about that photo in last Sunday’s paper that showed a lesbian holding a sign with an arrow pointing at her partner bragging “I fuck her.” In a related item, The Fishwrap showed a picture of former TV 5’s Norma Rashid and Charlie Luken “reunited” at charity event. The Blower remembers how we always used to write about when they were “united.”- HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: People are still wondering why Blue-faced Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP wasn’t on stage at last Sunday’s Tea Part event on Fountain Square. Was he rally on vacation on some beach with Junketing Jean?
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: Continuing their efforts to honor the supporters of Mean Jean Schmidt, Republicans for Higher Taxes celebrate the work done by the Clermont County Republican Leadership PAC to pass out phony sample ballots to GOP voters to make them think Schmidt, Portly Prosecutor Don White, and Phone Boy Nick Owens were the endorsed Republican candidates when in fact they weren’t. This disastrous effort was organized by Joe Braun, and funded by former Commissioner R. Scott Croswell, Holiday Homes, and Lykins Companies.- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: our Redneck Republican wonders “What the hell is Emancipation Day anyway?” Since when is this a holiday?! The reason taxes were due Tuesday instead of Monday was because Monday was Emancipation Day in Washington DC. Most people have never heard of that one before. The blacks have the only holiday which honors one single man, a whole month (February) for “history,” and now another day for them to sit on their butts and whine about their persecution.
FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: Bob and Doug McKenzie report an e-mail circulating about the Superintendent of a local school district having an affair with the husband of one of her administrative team members. Just what we need— more sex in schools.
IN ANDERSON: Astonished Andersonians will find it hard to believe the actual amount of the settlement in that case where Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien’s former employer Robert W. Baird and Co. was seeking repayment of a paltry $336,175 the company paid to just one of Kevin’s former clients who committed suicide.- READING THE TEA LEAVES: Respected political scientists who measure the effectiveness of Conservative Political Activity at the Conservative Accountability Project (CAP) reported that one reason the Cincinnati Tea Party’s big Tax Day Rally on Fountain Square was so poorly attended was because local Tea Party organizers have succumbed to the same hypocrisy, and are now afflicted with the same incompetence and avarice they first claimed to have set out to overcome. How else could you explain why a Tea Party member nominated Alex T., Mall Cop GOP to continue to fail as the Hamilton County RINO Party Boss?
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR OFFENSIVE OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for to enjoy the warmer Spring weather, we found this special springy poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Sonnets for All Seasons,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“It Might As Well Be Spring Fever”
I’m glad that Spring is finally here
It brings some warmer breezes
But it also brings more allergies
With water eyes and sneezes
HOW ABOUT THEM REDS?: Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather remembers lLast year this week when Reds pitcher Mike Leake was arrested on a shoplifting spree at a downtown department store, and Saturday afternoon, the young right-hander celebrated by giving up four runs in the bottom of the second inning on his way to another loss, this one to the lowly Cubs in Chicago.- IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Hamilton County Tea Partiers may have sold out to the RINOs, but the Clermont County Tea Party appears to be taking out the cronies one by one.
- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders how many people at last night’s Fourth Dist GOP Lincoln Day Dinner honoring Goof Doofus were Disgruntled former members of the The Goofster’s Army, accusing their leader of cutting and running.
THIS WEEK IN KENTON CIRCUIT COURT: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders highly touted e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features all sorts of criminals but no pot cases despite the fact that it was published on 4/20! Ken Camboo, however, is starting to wonder about the Bluegrass’ Finest… how did this woman in a wheelchair assault not one, but TWO police officers?!- LEGAL UPDATE: The Cabal out to destroy “Crazy Eric” Deters says they are not looking forward to next Wednesday, when Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters will have completed his 61-day suspension by the Bluegrass Bar Association. The last 59 days have been so pleasant.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on Earth Day was invented by Deranged DemocRAT US Senator Gaylord Nelson from Washington and was held on April 22, 1970 as something else besides the Vietnam War for unwashed draft dodgers in college to protest.- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose this profound pronouncement from John Davis, editor of the “Earth First! Journal: “Human beings, as a species, have no more value than slugs.”
CFK-TV: Over at Anderson Community Television, our CFK production crew wonders if Disgraced Dis-Trustee Kevin O’Brien is trying to sell enough tickets to the Anderson Township Republican Club’s “Kevin O’Brien Celebrity Roast” so he can earn enough money to pay the settlement Judge Nadel says he still owes Baird & Company.- THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about those editorial illustrations focusing on national events that will soon be appearing in The Blower.
For years, Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus has been asking us to find somebody to create artwork to compliment his national news coverage,” Kane explained.
“And since The Blower has always been known for encouraging new talent,” Kane added, “it wasn’t surprising when Award-Winning Illustrator Artis Conception showed us the work of young Edward Cropper, one of his students at the Conception School of Political Parody, that we would only be too happy to show our readers young Mr. Cropper’s photo-shopped editorial spoofs on current events.”
Today, young Mr. Cropper says, “Look who’s claiming he wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”
You can find more of his clever commentary on his own web site.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “197” days away and the Bluegrass primary in May 22 is 30 days away.
Monday we’ll be cleaning up after Earth Day.
Tuesday you’ll be reading “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers,” and somebody will be commenting on the end of Eric “Call Me” Deters’ 61-day suspension by the Bluegrass Bar Association.
Coincidentally, Wednesday it’ll be Secretary’s Day, and we’ll try to remind you not to call the “gals” that day.
Thursday, Fired Fishwrapper Howard Wilkinson will have been on his new job at WVXU Radio for a whole day, and we’ll see if any of his stories were first reported in The Blower.
And the first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “What happened to the Reds this year?”
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Link of the Day
F*ck the Earth Day
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