One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Happy Patriots Day, Everybody!
Yesterday we told you how on that date in 1775, Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from Boston, riding to every Middlesex, village, and farm to warn the countryside that the British were coming, and today’s the day in 1775 when Patriots in Lexington and Concord fired the opening volley for liberty.
Hurley the Historian says a lot of blood was shed on this date in American history. Besides 1775, when the shot heard ‘round the world officially began the American Revolution during the Battle at Lexington Green, in 1861, we had the first bloodshed during the Civil War. In 1993, Clinton’s Attorney General Janet Reno blew up David Koresh and his followers at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco; and in 1995, Timothy McVeigh blew up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Now which of these events do you think our Kneepad Liberals in the Press are most likely to mention?
Some people confuse today’s “Patriots’ Day” celebration with George W. Bush’s “Patriot Day” commemoration on September 11.
White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard says today on Obama’s “Eat the Rich Tour,” the President will be telling people the most patriotic thing they can do is to pay more taxes. Obama Supporters in the Press will no doubt agree, since that’s all they’ve been doing the same thing for years.
In a bipartisan move, Republicans for Higher Taxes is wishing everyone a Happy Tax Week. They believe the world’s greatest event – the paying of your taxes – should not be confined to a single day of celebration.
On the other hand, “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup says Congress would be more fiscally responsible if elections were held on Tax Day. Congressman Steve Chabothead seems to agree. His latest blog says: “Move tax day from April 15th to November, in close proximity to Election Day. This would result in taxes being in the forefront of peoples’ minds when they go into the voting booth.” Do these guys read The Blower or what?
Meanwhile, Compulsive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say, “It’s a shame we’re not super rich, so we could be more patriotic.”
Respected political scientists who measure the effectiveness of Conservative Political Activity at the Conservative Accountability Project (CAP) reported that one reason the Cincinnati Tea Party’s big Tax Day Rally on Fountain Square was so poorly attended was because local Tea Party organizers have succumbed to the same hypocrisy, and are now afflicted with the same incompetence and avarice they first claimed to have set out to overcome. How else could you explain why a Tea Party member nominated Alex T., Mall Cop GOP to continue to fail as the Hamilton County RINO Party Boss? 
Down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole says they’re still getting calls about that photo in Sunday’s paper that showed a lesbian holding a sign with an arrow pointing at her partner bragging “I fuck her.” According to Embarrassed Editor Carolyn Washburn’s e-mail to Cin-News Users, here’s how Wedgie is responding:
Yes, the photo was completely inappropriate, on many levels.
I learned about this after midnight Saturday when someone in our operation saw this photo and alerted us. We stopped the presses to change the photo and threw out thousands of papers still sitting at our dock. Unfortunately a few thousand papers had already gone out to carriers.
I deeply apologize and am working this morning to understand why this photo was chosen in the first place and why it was not caught sooner. I take this very seriously.
Again, I apologize.
The Blower remembers former Fishwrap editor Tom Callinan’s so-called apology after names of jurors on the Marcus Murder Trial were published in February 2007. Even Bellwether Blogger Bill Sloat called it “Wishy, Washy, and Squishy.”
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose this line from Kimberly Johnson, who said, “Never ruin an apology with an excuse!”
Astonished Andersonians will find it hard to believe the actual amount of the settlement in that case where Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien’s former employer Robert W. Baird and Co. was seeking repayment of a paltry $336,175 the company paid to just one of Kevin’s former clients who committed suicide.
Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking about Fishwrap Editor Carolyn Washburn’s sort-of apology for publishing a photograph of a lesbian holding a sign with an arrow pointing at her partner boasting “I fuck her.”
“It won’t be an official apology until it actually appears in The Fishwrap,” Kane explained. “And it’s just like what The Blower said in on February 25, 2007: “Being politically correct means always having to say you’re sorry.”
That also might the reason The Blower only apologizes on April 1.
Bluegrass Babes
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says with only 33 more days until the May 22 Primary Elections and that blockbuster letter to Goof Doofus yesterday, our NoKY Snitches are in overdrive:
Alecia Webb-Edgington was the Fourth Congressional District Chairwomen, prior to resigning to run for Congress. It is apparent what she and Ken CamBoo really do think of voters and elected officials in other counties. Look at the official Wikipedia description of the Fourth District:
“Kentucky’s 4th congressional district is a congressional district in the U.S. state of Kentucky. Located in Northern Kentucky, it is a long district that follows the Ohio River. The majority of voters live in the booming suburban Cincinnati counties of Boone, Kenton and Campbell, which includes such suburbs as Covington, Florence, Newport, and Fort Thomas.
The district is represented currently represented by Republican Geoff Davis.” Only Kenton, Boone, and Campbell counties are listed. Nowhere in the description does it even list the other 21 counties in the 4th district!
Update of Edgington Campaign strategy: They have conceded the Boondoggle County vote to be split between Massie and Gary Moore, with Massie winning the county due to the few people who will actually vote for Moore. What Gary doesn’t realize is how many of even his contributors whom he strong armed, are not going to vote for him.
AW-E plans on winning most, if not all of the outlying counties except Massie’s home Lewis, due to her exposure of being Fourth District Chair and Goof Doofus’ fundraising and mailing lists. The prize is Kenton, which she plans on taking big because Gary Moore is a non-factor (except with the fellow members of St. E’s board). They are counting on local Tea-Party favorite Tom Wurtz to draw enough strong conservative votes from Massie to allow her the victory. Tom doesn’t even know some of the help he is receiving is from AW-E operatives. “Mean Jean” Schmidt tried a similar tactic having another candidate shill for her to split the vote and we all know how that worked out this.
- According to Goof Doofus: “In a tight race with seven candidates, anything can happen, but being the only woman in the race, Alecia’s TITS are worth six points.” But Ken CamBoo wants to know if that’s six points for each breast, or is that the total for the pair.
Trooper Babe’s campaign staff is still reeling from her disastrous “No Show” for the end of session crucial votes on the Bluegrass Budget, which most Kentuckians thought was part of her current job. The negative public reaction to her gallivanting off to glitzy fund raisers, one of which was in Washington DC is huge. Based on her recent campaign finance report showing her fund-raising in third place, she certainly got “no bang for those bucks” and traded big negative publicity for small amounts of cash. She’s like the teenager who skips school, only to discover her parents took both cars that day. Even more embarrassing: she has Goof Doofus’ fundraising list, campaign staff, and DC contacts. Is the “smart money” backing away from her?
Finally, as you’ve heard, Bluegrass Governor Steve Besheared called the General Assembly into special session Monday to finish the transportation budget that Senate president David “Sore Loser” Williams abruptly went home without passing the budget in the Senate. Here is a photo from Monday’s opening day where Lucifer himself gives marching orders to Senate Pro Tem Katie Stine and his other minions.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our April fund-raising drive The Fourth District Republican Party, which plans to honor Goof Doofus at its annual Lincoln Day Dinner on April 21.
PATRIOTS DAY HOT LINE
e-mail your red-white-and blue comments today.
Some patriotic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally patriotic subscribers.
LINK OF THE DAY
Patriotic Tribute to our Military
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.