One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Listen My Children and You Shall Hear…

Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1775, Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from Boston, riding to every Middlesex, village, and farm to warn the countryside that the British were coming.

And this morning, our Quote for Today isn’t just bringing you one little quote, they have the whole damn poem.

And wouldn’t you know, even way back when, the New York Times was already undermining America’s patriotism.

Speaking of All Things Revolutionary, The Blower’s gotten several discouraging reports about Sunday’s big Cincinnati Tea Party Tax Day Rally on Fountain Square. A good Conservative whose name you might recognize submitted this report:

No one that was there thought it was a good crowd. 55 KRC’s Brian Thomas started it out by apologizing for the poor crowd. Making excuses about how people were out enjoying their freedom doing yard work for the bitches they live with. Most speakers followed with the same lame excuses.

But what do they expect since the Cincinnati TEA party has been totally undermined and subverted by Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T. Alex, Mall Cop GOP? Alex T. couldn’t beat a D-RAT if his life depended on it. But he sure knew how to beat these Tea Partiers. Heck, the current President of the Tea Party nominated Alex T. for re-election. And where was Alex T.? On vacation on some beach with Junketing Jean, since she’s taking as much as she can with both hands during her lame duck period?

Unlike the Clermont County Tea Party, which is taking out the cronies one by one, perhaps if Tea Partiers in Hamilton County hadn’t sold out to the RINOs, more people would’ve shown up.

Brian Thomas was up first and announced that he could not get excited about Romney but could get excited about the Senate and House candidates, but he failed to mention who the US Senate candidate even was.

Mike Wilson and George Brunemann were the next two speakers. Both of them spoke for over one hour of the two hour event. Neither had anything interesting to say. They must really like to hear themselves talk, since no one else was paying attention. People watching streaming video at home saw “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup give another great stump speech. But folks who read The Fishwrap or watched local news on TV would’ve never have known, since our next Congressman’s Press Secretary must’ve been AWOL.

And by this time the crowd started to melt away and the event was summed up best by Ohio Treasurer “Dick” Yost, who said after coming off the stage (after another uninspiring speech), “If I knew the crowd in Cincinnati was going to SUCK so bad, I would have gone to the Cleveland Tea Party event.”

BTW, “Old Blueface” is about to have another big success this week when Judge Mr$ $tan Che$ley finally says it’s OK to count those votes so Disgruntled DemocRAT Tracie Hunter can steal Judge John Williams’ Juvenile Court seat that he won fair and square in November 2010.
Mary “Money Bags” Ronan announced to her employees that their jobs are all in jeopardy and the final ax will fall Wednesday night. After learning about the announcement, failed CFT “president” Julie SellYourSoul immediately sprung into action and did…well…absolutely nothing. Somewhere there exists a “private and special” analysis from the American Federation of Teacher$ but this secret report is nowhere to be found and not available for teachers to view. Why after three years of hiding has SellYourSoul decided to surface and make a complete mockery of what was once a thriving and healthy teachers union?
And why does The Fishwrap even bother with its sham list of “Women of the Year?” This year, they don’t even list their achievements, instead asking for a stupid quotation. And what’s with listing the woman’s husband’s name as the first item? Last year, didn’t some of those women end up in jail?
And it’s funny how The Fishwrap lets all those seasoned reporters and Michael Keating, the award-winning photographer, “take” early exits. And in the same paper, they asked people to suggest interesting people to highlight. The Fishwrap had already asked people to submit wide-angle Cincy photos to use at the top of its pages. It’s just like The Blower always says: why pay for stories and photographs when subscribers will do it for FREE?
And did you hear what happened Saturday night at The Fishwrap? Metro Mole says Saturday nights are always hectic and these days the staff is less than skeletal. They had a story on some gay issue and some fool pulled a stock photo from the library. Prominent were two women, one holding a sign with an arrow pointing at her partner captioned “I fuck her.” Many thousands of papers were off the presses and on their way to UDF and Kroger before some hero saw what had happened and hollered stop the presses and impounded most of the offending papers. Wedgie Washburn got an avalanche of calls from outraged readers. She told her staff they should not discuss this with anyone outside, nor even among themselves (First Amendment notwithstanding). Maybe she should’ve said not to e-mail stories to The Blower, too.
And with today’s Racial Healing Moment, our Redneck Republican wonders “What the hell is Emancipation Day anyway?” Since when is this a holiday?! The reason taxes were due Tuesday instead of Monday was because Monday was Emancipation Day. Most people have never heard of that one before. The blacks have the only holiday which honors one single man, a whole month (February) for “history,” and now another day for them to sit on their butts and whine about their persecution.
The head of The Blower’s Research Department, Hemlock Holmes, has uncovered a website that may be useful to those Americans who oppose such things as abortion, gun control, open borders, gay marriage, the removal of Christianity from the public square, the incremental destruction of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, the incremental subjugation of American sovereignty to a New World Order, and out-of-control deficit spending (i.e. those Americans who by such beliefs, especially if they were ever in the armed services, are now classified as rightwing domestic terrorists by the Department of Homeland Security). You may file a complaint with the DHS Office of Civil Rights and Civil Liberties by e-mail here. In your complaint, be sure to identify yourself as a right-wing domestic terrorist, list all your beliefs which support that conclusion, and request confirmation that you have been placed on their list of threats.
Finally, yesterday at a “Bribe Lunch” at Uno’s with a political consultant, the “briber” asked Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what he thought about Sunday’s disappointing Tea Party Rally on Fountain Square. “The only thing more dull and boring than that event was The Fishwrap’s so-called reporting. I thought Huggable Howard was gone. No wonder by press time for today’s e-dition, we hadn’t seen a single online comment. Maybe one of our Tea Partiers could can send us a video so the guys at CFK-TV on Anderson Community Television can produce another episode of Political Science Theater 2012.”

Bluegrass Blowback

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo received this open letter for Kentucky’s Fourth District Congressman Geoff Davis, and The Blower is publishing it without embellishments or apologies:

Dear Geoff:

You could have knocked any one of us over with a feather when we heard of your resignation several months ago. “Say it ain’t so, Joe” went through my mind. The rumors that there had to be an impending scandal or major health issue for you or a family member circulated. In a bizzare way, it would almost be better if one of those reasons were true. Because it leaves us with “selfish.” Yes, SELFISH. How could such a word be associated with Geoff Davis?

The man who was known for actually “walking the walk and not just talking the talk.” The man who actually ministered prisoners before he was politician because it was the right thing to do and not just for publicity. The man who rose from very humble beginnings to become our Congressman. A man who’s resume reads like a novel. Child in single parent home, West Point, attack helicopter squadron commander with Mid-East experience, volunteered for Rangers instead of cushy Pentagon job. Private sector employee experience, then founding your own small business. How many people with this type of background does God put on this earth?

You were our hero. You were not just a Congressman, you were our well rounded Congressman fast tracked by leadership (given choice committees), envied by your Congressional peers. The real beauty you brought to this job was that you were not a lawyer nor a career politician who has no clue what real families and businesses go through on a daily basis to survive. You were in a position to actually help make the difference our country so desperately needs now. Senator, Vice-President, or even dare say President Geoff Davis? Yes Geoff, you really were that good.

So I shall speak the whispered unspeakable. How Dare You leave just to spend more time with your family? This may sound callous, but what about all the people who believed in you and sacrificed treasure, time, and talent to get you where you are? We bought in heavy and supported you through those first three campaigns so you and our district would be solid for many years to come. Remember the night when you lost the first election and immediately announced to run again? We were with you then and stayed with you ever since. You want more family time, so do us all! What about the service people in Afghanistan on their fourth deployment with their spouse working here and trying to hold their family together? What about the laid off worker taking two or three part time jobs to support their family? What about the small business person working 80 hours a week scared to death the bank is going to pull his credit line? All parents want more family time!

What about the night after night we spent at the Victory Office making phone calls for you, feeling like a replacement window telemarketer? What about our walking the neighborhoods in the rain, knocking on doors for you, instead of being at our kids’ soccer game? What about our hosting or attending fundraisers, writing those checks, or badgering our neighbors for you. What about our taking your calls at quarter end listening to you beg like a homeless whino for more money, so your numbers looked good? Instead of all these things, WE could have been spending more time with our families. You got all the glory, the perks, and now the juicy Congressional pension & lifetime healthcare, which you are all entitled to because you did earn it. We are just mighty sorry to see you go under these circumstances. We did all of the above because we believed in you and thought if we worked so hard, this process would not have to be repeated anytime soon.

You left a power vacuum and an overall discomforting list of candidates. Too bad your first choice, Kevin Sell did not run. At least he was smart enough up front, to realize he had a young family and did not want to be away. Your sloppy seconds choice of Alecia Webb-Edgington (doesn’t the name sound like a reporter for NPR or a cousin to Gilligan Island’s Thurston Howell the 3rd?) is curious. Even though you have not officially endorsed her, everyone knows you gave her your fundraising list & your former aide is her campaign manager. She is the type of candidate you campaigned against. She is one whose every paycheck has come from a government agency! If she makes it to Congress, will this be the fourth pension she will be eligible for? It must be the relationship AW-E forged with your wife. Don’t you and Pat realize she has been playing you like the undercover cop she was? I guess even Rangers have to let their wives “wear the pants in the family”. Because it is unthinkable that you would support a women who has voted with the democrats 43% of the time and whose husband is tied to unions. What rational is there for AW-E’s spouse (or any republican candidate) to contribute $1,000 to democrat Steve Brashear’s gubernatorial campaign? She may have a political future, but definitely not strong enough (or Republican enough) for Congress at this time.

Gary (“Hand Out”) Moore – After being the Judge Executive for ten years, won his county by only 74 votes! And let us be kind here, against someone not considered to be a “strong candidate”. Gary is an ex-democrat, tax & spender who’s political style is old time politics, who takes very good care of his friends if you take care of him. (Can you spell Sewer Board?). If elected to Congress, we have a pool going, trying to guess how may deals he cuts between the Washington airport and his office on the first day!

Marcus Carey – An OK blogger, but a Congressman? We think not. How many elections has he lost?

Thomas Massie – Let me see here, Prize Winning engineering and business genius at MIT, founder of a high tech robotics company, Tea Party conservative and Judge Executive. What is not to like? Is he a minority, is he gay, was he in the KKK? No, nothing that bad. According to Ken Cam-Boo (Kenton, Campbell, and Boone county party elite) Judge Massie has committed the ultimate sin. He is from Lewis County and neither Kenton nor Boone, which makes him or anyone else not from Northern KY a “hillbilly” and therefore unelectable (now really, exactly how many hillbillies have you ever heard MIT admitted?). Too bad no one can ask Congressman Gene Snyder what he would think about that? I wonder if all of the other elected officials and voters from all the other counties in the fourth district realize how strongly they are being discriminated against by the “power elite?”

All the rest running: Are probably decent people, but don’t have a clue or the wherewithal to raise the $1 to 2 million it is going to take to get name recognition in this far flung, four media market campaign.

Geoff – Would you reconsider running? Or is your strategy to “Pull a Kasich”? Go to the private sector, make real money from all your contacts we paid for in your campaigns, and return to take McConnell’s seat when it is time? Your kids will be old enough and your wife may want you out of the house by then anyway.

PS. Do you have any clue how badly you embarrassed yourself (The emperor has no clothes and probably none of your minions has the guts to tell you) over how poorly you handled the now famous Massie ad? Didn’t your handlers tell you in a situation like this, you keep your public mouth shut? Or are you so desperate for AW-E to win that your last big public memory won’t be the REINS act but an embarrassing “tit for tat” denying what you said on the house floor, which is public record. Massie completely “smoked” the high-powered AW-E & Moore campaigns by having the brilliant idea to run the ad during the UK game (which every TV in KY was tuned to)! But then again, what does a genius from MIT, hayseed from Lewis County know? Then your doofus denials gave the story legs and turned it into a Commonwealth-wide front page spectacle! I believe nearly every Republican in this country is sick of the negative ads in the presidential primaries and has been afraid they are tearing our party apart. Massie brings out the most positive campaign ad that anyone in this country has seen in months, (starring you!) and you trash it? What’s up with that? If you are really that clueless, perhaps it is a good thing you are retiring.

Signed: Disgruntled former members of the Davis Army – “We did not desert you, you left the unfinished battle”

GOOF DOOFUS HOT LINE

e-mail his real reasons for quitting today.

Some disgruntled items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally disgruntled subscribers.

LINK OF THE DAY

From ‘Hope’ to Hypocrisy: Excuses, Excuses

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

US Invasion E-dition