Sunday, April 15, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when Obama Supporter Hilary Rosen did what Mitt Romney never would’ve been able to do. According to Sago, she united all Republicans [Santorum supporters, Gingrich supporters, conservatives and moderates] against her comments and against the Disgraceful DemocRATS who said Romney would be wrong to rely on Ann Romney’s opinion on the economy because “she has never worked a day in her life.”
Ann Romney, who is a breast cancer survivor and is fighting Multiple Sclerosis, has probably worked harder than the obnoxious Hillary Rosen, as she has raised five sons and 16 grandchildren. We don’t have to wonder anymore if the Republicans will unite behind Mitt Romney. It’s already happening. DemocRATS are now trying to shy away from Hillary Rosen’s statements and she herself is trying to walk it back. This is one of those statements you cannot walk back. She said it. She believes it. And stay at home moms around the nation are speaking out. Hillary Rosen could very well have awakened a sleeping giant that will destroy the DemocRATS in 2012.
OUR NUMBER TWO LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was “Obama’s October Surprise” when Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus reported how Obama had totally divided the country over the Trayvon Martin debacle
White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard said the Obama Administration would now have nothing more to say on the matter.
In a related item, Obama’s Attorney General Eric Holder has agreed with Racial Racketeers Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton that the White Hispanic accused shooter George Zimmerman should go on trial a week before the Presidential Election in November.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reported the members of the Ohio News Media had done their customary lackluster job reporting how “unanimously elected” incoming Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett didn’t mention he was the one who’d foisted his protégé, Currently Resigning-in-Disgrace Party Boss Kevin DeWhine, on the Party in the first place. Some of the headlines included: “Ohio GOP touts unity to defeat Obama in November,” “Bennett returns as Ohio GOP chairman,” and “Ohio Republican Party Has a New Leader.”
Lazy Ohio political reporters also failed to mention some of the headlines the last time Bennett ran the party:
“Scandal-ravaged GOP on brink of losing Ohio” (Akron Beacon-Journal, October 21, 2006); “Ohio GOP stunned and staggered” (Toledo Blade, November 9, 2006); “Bennett’s back room deals lead to GOP train wreck” (Buckeye Buzz Blog, December 1, 2006); “Ohio Republican Party, leaders face FBI investigations”(RedState.com, July 17, 2006); “Democrats win big in Ohio; Strickland easily takes governor job” (Toledo Blade, November 8, 2006); “Strickland wins 77 of 88 Ohio Counties” (Cuyahoga News Monthly, December 2006); and “Obama, Democrats Sweep Ohio (Cincinnati Enquirer Blog, November 5, 2008).
MONDAY in our Annual “Easter Monday” E-dition, The Blower asked if DemocRATS were still blaming Bush for the Death of Jesus and reported about that “Twitter from God”:
Yesterday was Easter Sunday, so we e-mailed God to ask why He doesn’t stop all that teenage violence, especially at schools. And God Twittered back: “Maybe because I’m no longer allowed in schools.”
Remember when Madeline Murray O’Hare complained she didn’t want any prayer in our schools, and we said, OK?
Then, someone said you better not read the Bible in school, the Bible that says “Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbors as yourself,” and we said, OK.
Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, classmates, or even themselves.
Think about it.
TUESDAY in our Special “Gas Gripes” E-dition, The Blower reported the price had more than doubled since Obama took office and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Sunday we discovered the “Real Meaning of Easter” was Hollow Chocolate Messiah Bunnies. —Befuddled Biblical Scholars
And this year at the White House Easter Egg hunt, Barack the Bunny gave us giant Easter Eggs filled with debt. —Your Grandchildren
Only about 30,000 people showed up to hear my “Sermon on the Hill” in Texas on “Savior Sunday.” —Tim Tebow
High gasoline prices are a big problem for the country, but only because they hurt Obama’s re-election chances. —Kneepad Liberals in the Press
Just because it was one of the most-played pieces of audio from the Trayvon Martin story, please stop asking why one of our producers purposely edited Zimmerman’s 9-1-1 call to make him appear racist and fan the flames of racism with then just “209” more days until the Presidential Elections. —NBC News
If you think I’m going to chance a grand jury not indicting Trayvon Martin’s racist murderer, you got another think coming. —Florida Special Persecutor Angela “I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Grand Juries” Corey
WEDNESDAY in our Special “Obamacare Costs” E-dition, The Blower said, “Who says Money can’t buy you health insurance?”:
Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus said Obamacare will actually add more than $340 billion to the nation’s budget woes over the next decade, according to a new study by a Republican member of the board that oversees Medicare financing.
And if that’s not another good reason for Liberals to support Obama’s historic health-care initiative, we don’t know what is.
Now if we only knew a local Congressional Candidate with a medical background, the news media might even quote him.
THURSDAY, in our Special “Free at Last” E-dition, The Blower observed that we seem to be the only one who’s noticed!
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Tax Freedom Day has finally arrived in Ohio, and everywhere you look, everybody’s ignoring it.
Republican Governor Kasich forgot to read a proclamation, acknowledging that this is the date our friends at the Tax Foundation say the average Ohio over-taxed payer has worked long enough to pay all of his federal, state, and local taxes for the year. Ohioans will spend an average of 29% of their incomes on federal, state, and local taxes in 2012. That’s more than the average family spends on food, clothing, and housing.
Ohio Republican Senator Rob Portman forgot to mention Tax Freedom Day too. He’s too busy sitting around waiting for reporters to call and ask if Mitt Romney had selected him as his running mate.
Ohio DemocRAT Senator Sherrod Brown thinks we don’t pay enough taxes, so if it were up to him, your Tax Freedom Day would be arriving sometime in September.
And Hurley the Historian says FDR became a Good DemocRAT on this date in 1945. And that’s why your Quote for Today Committee chose FDR’s “Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.”
FRIDAY in our Just Another “Friday the Thirteenth” E-dition, The Blower said, “Just say no to Triskaidekaphobia!”
Our Garrulous Grammarian says the first thing we need to do is to explain the difference between “Triskaidekaphobia” and “Paraskevidekatriaphobia”
Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number thirteen. It comes from “treiskaideka,” the Greek word for thirteen plus “phobia,” which means “fear of,” so Triskaidekaphobia would be “a fear of thirteen.”
Paraskevidekatriaphobia is the Fear of Friday the 13th. The word “paraskevidekatriaphobia” was devised by Dr. Donald Dossey, who told his patients that “when you learn to pronounce it, you’re cured!”
SATURDAY in our Special “Tax Day Rally Update” E-dition, The Blower gave you 1040 reasons to hate the government!
It was almost Tax Day in America, and over-taxed payers who hate paying taxes would no doubt be planning to car-pool to that big Cincinnati Tea Party Tax Day Rally on Sunday, April 15, between 3-5 PM on Fountain Square. Other people will be there demanding a Balanced Budget, since even the dumbest among us should realize you can’t spend more than you take in, except the US Government.
Organizers keep talking about the way they “launched the Cincinnati Tea Party three years ago,” but long-time Persons of Consequence on both sides of the river know it’s not exactly a new idea.
Back in 1993, The Whistleblower even played a small part in putting together an April 15 anti-tax rally on the same Fountain Square and a big July 30 anti-tax rally at Sawyer Park. Bill Clinton was in the White House, and “It’s the Spending, Stupid!” was just being heard for the first time.
Folks from “Taxed Enough Already” were even then trying to form a coalition of individuals and 30 organizations who were fed up with being overtaxed, government spending, and waste. That was a real Tea Party Rally, as the Commemorative April 15, 1993 Whistleblower Newswire clearly shows. No wonder the High Fiven White Guys at The Enquirer endorsed the event and Howard Wilkinson (before he became “Huggable”) may have even written something about it.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
REPUBLICANS IN 2012: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says according to our Official CNN GOP Delegate Counter, Mitt Romney has 651 of the 1,144 delegates he needs for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination in Tampa. Rick Santorum dropped out a distant second with 275. Newt Gingrich is still sending out press releases with 138, and Ron Paul is still out of luck and out of money with 71. Hey, Fat Lady— start warming up!
- VOTER FRAUD: Did Poll Workers on Primary Day in Washington, DC really offer Obama’s Attorney General Eric H. Holder’s ballot to vote… to a complete Stranger? Other voting locations in DC offered to sign for ballots. But how could that be? Eric Holder has said multiple times that there exists “no evidence of Voter Fraud.”
BTW, speaking of local DemocRAT Voter Fraud Watchers, how’s Judge Mr$ $tan Che$ley coming on her case where Disgruntled DemocRAT Tracie Hunter tried to steal Judge John Williams’ Juvenile Court seat that he won fair and square in November 2010 ago?
OBAMA 2012: Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say the Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House were spam-gramming their e-mail list on Monday trying to get followers to sign a class warfare petition to support so-called “The Buffett Rule” to make sure rich people paid more than their fair share of taxes. The only problem is Obama’s friend Mr. Buffett, who says he supports the plan, is one of the biggest tax scofflaws in America. Let us know when Buffett’s companies pay his billion dollars in taxes, owning back to 2002. Later in the week, Obama admitted “The Buffett Rule” was just a gimmick, and White House tax returns showed Obama’s $95,000-per-year secretary was paying a higher rate than the Obamas. Oh, the hypocrisy!
DIRT-DIGGING DEMOCRATS: looking for more mud to sling at “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup, the surprise winner of Ohio’s Second Congressional District Primary whose advisors have rendered him unprepared for Congress, turned up some interesting information this week. Ironically, it was on one of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Flying Monkeys. Check Wednesday’s E-dition for a “Where Are They Now” Update on the original Schmidt-Heads.- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Jay Leno’s: “The Obama administration is trying to distance itself from remarks made by long-time Democratic adviser Hilary Rosen. She said that Mitt Romney’s wife, Ann, a stay-at-home mother of five who has cancer, has never worked a day in her life. The ironic part — because of that idiotic statement, she may never work another day in her life. And now, even vice president Joe Biden is furious. He said, “Making stupid comments that hurt the president, that’s my job. She has no right.”
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says with this year’s tax filing deadline extended until Tuesday at 11:59 PM, you wouldn’t believe the number of people who still haven’t even begun to work on their tax returns.
MEDIA MENDACITY: Over at Newsbusters, Noel Sheppard reports Bill Maher on Friday told what many would consider a rather racist joke: After commenting at the beginning of HBO’s Real Time that it was Friday the 13th, the host warned his audience, “If a black cat crosses your path it is bad luck – except in Florida where you’re allowed to shoot it.”
OHIO RINO PARTY: Can you believe all 66 members of the Party’s Central Committee “unanimously chose” a failed leader from the past like Boob Bennett? They all must’ve been “Unanimously Stupid!” - LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #105 says you should invite all your Liberal friends to protest at today’s Tax Day Rally on Fountain Square. For sure, biased TV reporters would gladly interview them.
- FOOLS IN SCHOOLS: At this week’s FCPS Bored of Education meeting, Julie Sell-your-soul finally went on the attack, criticizing bored members for cutting so many teacher positions. It’s a little late for all that Julie, after you’ve let Evil Bolton and Mary “Money Bags” Ronan bitch slap you all over Cincinnati since you’ve taken office.
MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: To encourage their long-suffering political reporter to retire, both Skaggie Maggie and Editor Carolyn Washerwoman wrote nice letters of recommendation, so Huggable Howard Wilkinson could get a job at a public radio station, where his liberal leanings would be appreciated.
HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: In the Official Republican Response to Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory’s Annual “State of the Taxes” Speech, our Blue-faced Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP picked Amy Murray, one of his “Five Who Didn’t Survive” on City Clown-cil to be totally ignored by the press. But the worst part was when The Windbag went off the reservation, gave his own so-called Republican Response, and couldn’t stop sucking up to Mallory.
Unfortunately, Alex T. was too busy Tweeting about the Reds, Ashwin was too busy hanging out with his DemocRAT buddies, and Maggie had some serious shoe-shopping to do at Kenwood Towne Centre Mall, so we didn’t see a video of Amy’s Republican Response on the Party Web Site at press time the next morning.
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: blogged about the changing of the guard at the Ohio Republican Party, believing that Kevin DeWine’s forced resignation was another Jason Voorhees massacre on Friday the 13th.- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Racial Healing Fans were still upset after one of CNN’s reporters said “Nigger” on live TV for the second time in three weeks. Don’t they know you’re never supposed to use the words a person actually uses when you quote them? Whoopi Goldberg and CNN’s Don Lemon also support The Blower’s campaign to allow journalists to say the “Full N-Word” on the air when it was an actual quote in a story.
THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll Only Read About in The Blower): This week the city was advertising for a new police recruit class. Among the rules for qualification on the city of Cincinnati web page, under human resources, it states all applicants “must be a resident of Hamilton County” and “must have a valid Ohio driver’s license upon appointment.”
Cincinnati’s Ebonics-speaking chief keeps his resident status in California. He rents a space here with rented furniture. He also retains a California driver’s license. He can’t make arrests and cannot uphold Ohio law.
- FROM THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: Bob and Doug McKenzie report the lights at the court house will only going to cost $73K. But Dennis Picket in Clearcreek Township paid $85K for a filter for their fire truck’s exhaust pipe. That makes the lights at the court house look cheap.
IN ANDERSON: With the same spirit of unity which appears to be infusing itself at all levels of the Republican Party, “In Russ We Trust” Jackson says the Anderson Republican Party plans to welcome Trustee Kevin P. O’Brien back into the fold, and is organizing a “Celebrity Roast” in his honor.
- READING THE TEA LEAVES: If every local Tea Party member that ever there was will be on Fountain Square today to listen to boring speeches about Taxes and a Balanced Budget Amendment, wouldn’t this be a good time to rob all their houses?
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR OFFENSIVE OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: whose latest Springtime Selection, “Up Your Equinox,” is available at better bookstores everywhere, except of course in Cleves:
“GAS PAINS”
The price of gas has gone sky high.
It’s the highest this year by far.
But leave it to that Obama guy
He’ll put a windmill on your car.
- IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Ted Stevenot, Clermont Tea Party community leader claims to be among the boring speakers scheduled to appear at today’s Tax Day Rally on Fountain Square.
IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says procrastinators are really taking advantage of the extra two days to pay their taxes this year, which why staffers at H&R Doofus offices will be bus all weekend helping constituents file their tax returns. Just bring in all your receipts in a shoe box or a shopping bag, and the Goofster’s aides will give you all the personal attention you deserve, especially since with their boss’ retirement, there’s no campaigning to do. - THIS WEEK IN KENTON CIRCUIT COURT: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders hilariously funny yet insightful e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now!
This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features more of the usual burglars, druggies, dealers, and thieves but also a few unique scofflaws like Diane Bartel who corrupted the outcome of charitable gaming; Steven Boles Jr, who doesn’t look much like Al Capone but was convicted of engaging in organized crime; and last but certainly not least, Jerry Stutler who wanton endangered the good people of Vanilla Hills while molesting a deer! Sounds like it must have been quite a sight to behold but we’re glad to know it’s illegal to molest a deer, even in the Bluegrass State!
LEGAL UPDATE: Lovely Lisa Wells, who’s getting paid by WLW Hate Radio for doing the program “Crazy Eric” Deters was doing for free, says Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters is scheduled to finish his 61-day Bluegrass Bar Association suspension in about ten more days, anD courthouses all over Northern Kentucky are standing by for a flurry of frivolous lawsuits to follow.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1865, President Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, died from an assassin’s bullet. Shot by John Wilkes Booth at Ford’s Theater in Washington the night before, Lincoln lived for nine hours before succumbing to the severe head wound he sustained.
- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose the most inappropriate quote they could find for the occasion: “ Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”
CFK-TV: Over at Anderson Community Television, our CFK production crew wonders if the Anderson Township Republican Club’s “Kevin O’Brien Celebrity Roast” would be something they should plan to produce.- THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how embarrassing it was for the White House this weekend when a dozen of Obama’s Secret Service agents were sent home after a prostitution scandal in Colombia, because at least one of them refused to pay a prostitute. Bill Clinton probably would’ve given the guys a medal.
“I remember that time in Iowa when we were doing advance work for Ronald Reagan’s visit to Sioux City,” Kane explained. “One of the Secret Service agents got in trouble for ‘cow-tipping,’ but not for anything like ‘defrauding a madam.’ ”
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “204” days away and the Bluegrass primary in May 22 is 37 days away.
Monday we’ll be talking about Tax Procrastinators. Tuesday you’ll be reading “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers,” and no doubt people will be having a tough time trying to decide between “Death and Taxes.” Wednesday Hurley the Historian will be telling us how today’s news media would be reporting Paul Revere’s Ride. Thursday is Patriots Day, so we’ll be bringing you something completely patriotic. The first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “Do the rich really want to pay more.” Also on Friday, it’s Hitler’s Birthday, and we’ll all want to get ready for that.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Link of the Day
3 Great Reasons to Pay Your Taxes (or Else)!
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this g ood stuff today.