One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Thursday, April 5, 2011
Happy Opening Day, Everybody
The 2012 Cincinnati Reds Opening Day has finally arrived and they might as well make it a paid holiday, because for local employers, it’ll probably be the least productive day in the year. If P&G thinks its employees are goofing off watching YouTube videos on most days, wait till they find out how many man hours are spent watching the Findlay Market Parade. $225 Million– do you think they’re paying Joey Votto enough? Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says, “Just think how much he’ll be getting every time he strikes out with the bases loaded.”- And at today’s Opening Day, after Sheriff Simon Leis fires one over the plate in the ceremonial first pitch, will Senator Rob “Fighting for Fastballs” Portman bounce the lineup card to the umpire?
In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker remembers when Obama threw out the first pitch at Nationals Park in 2010. Obama’s pitching is like his health care plan. It’s wild, to the left, and way, way outside. It was almost as bad as Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory’s most embarrassing first pitch in history. They both throw like girls. But Obama apologist Van Jones says “Obama wouldn’t lose support from the black community even if he came out as gay.” And were those boos we hear when Obama was announced? Could people finally be catching on?- Hurley the Historian says on this date in 33 AD the first baseball game was played between the Bethlehem Braves and the Jerusalem Giants. [You can watch that play-by-play here]
And with only “214” more days until the November Elections, Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says according to our Official CNN GOP Delegate Counter, the only candidate who gained any delegates at all Tuesday night was Mitt Romney. He now has 640 of the 1,144 delegates he needs for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination in Tampa. Rick Santorum (still with 264) says he might have enough delegates by 2016. And Newt Gingrich (still looking for his 136th delegate) needs to change his campaign logo- In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says everybody’s speculating about the new Ohio RINO Party Boss after that big Central Committee meeting on Friday the 13th. Maybe Ohio GOP Governor John Kasich will give us a clue when he speaks at tonight’s Lincoln Day Dinner in Ross County, wherever the hell that is.
Hereabouts, Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP says he was honored to receive the “near-unanimous support” of our County Central Committee to serve another term as your County Party Chairman. OK, everybody—what was it Einstein always said about “Insanity?” And did Alex T. get the number of days wrong in that self-congratulatory e-mail he sent out? Maybe it was 218 more days when his DemocRAT Deputy Ashwin Corrattiyil (pronounced Ashwin) wrote his boss’ acceptance speech over the weekend, and the only thing he had to change was “near-unanimous” part.- Republicans for Higher Taxes published a list of some of Mean Jean Schmidt’s biggest donors. Those who know the truth about Schmidt’s record of higher taxes and unethical behavior would call this a “name of shame” campaign, but the way that blog sees it, these useful idiots are true heroes who earned a spot in the Tax Hike Hall of Fame.
Hamilton County over-taxed payers received great news on Monday when the County Commissioners unanimously rejected the Museum Center’s request for a $150 million county property tax increase to repair a building owned by the City of Cincinnati. After interest, it would have cost nearly $300 million to repair a $24 million building. So just who are these conservative leaders who have done an excellent job opposing the Museum Center’s unjustifiable tax requests?
Not surprisingly, the Hamilton County RINO Party sent out a “newsletter” with no mention of this victory for over-taxed payers. No congratulations for the conservative opposition which helped defeat this bad idea, nothing to thank the Commissioners who did kill it. So much for the party of lower taxes. One conservative activist confirms to us, “The Hamilton County Republican Party did NOTHING to assist our efforts to stop this tax increase. We expected them to be completely useless, and they lived up to expectations.”
Republicans for Higher Taxes, however, had no problem weighing in. They said the Museum Center is entitled to unlimited taxpayer funds with no questions asked, and sharply criticized all three County Commissioners for their refusal to raise county property taxes to help maintain Cincinnati’s buildings.
Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about all that Opening Day hoopla, and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher said now that the 2012 Cincinnati Reds Opening Day has arrived, all that hype that fueled our hope for renewal will soon vanish for another year.
And just in time to enjoy the 2012 baseball season, we found this realistic prophesy in Bunky Tadwell’s “American Pastimes,” sold in better bookstores everywhere, except Cleves.
Opening Day is on the way
And baseball soon will start.
The Reds will show us promise
And then will break our heart.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Bob Feller’s “Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday’s success or put its failures behind and start over again. That’s the way life is, with a new game every day, and that’s the way baseball is.” Well, so much for 2012. Maybe 2013 will be better.
Bluegrass Balldroppers
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says unlike the Hamilton County RINO Party Boss, Republicans on the South Shore don’t have any trouble keeping track of the days until the next election. Today, Kentucky’s May 22 Primary Elections are in only 47 more days.- In Lexington, celebrating has finally subsided after the UK Wildcats showed basketball fans in Ohio what winning the NCAA Championship was like. And those UK fans were so well behaved, except one guy who lost a foot.
Our Late Night TV Joke Watcher says Jay Leno even commented on the melee: “Well, congratulations to Kentucky. They won the NCAA championship 67-59 over Kansas, very nice. Did you see the news after the game? People in Kentucky flipping over cars, they were burning couches. That was all on the same front lawn.”
- Fourth District Congressman Goof Doofus called for Republican congressional candidate Thomas Massie to pull his first campaign television ad because it used one of Davis’ floor speeches without his permission. What’s that all about? Most of Goof’s constituents would be happy to have proof The Goofster actually had something intelligent enough to say in Congress.
- The upcoming Congressional debate should be interesting. Boondoggle County Judge Once Moore has told a forum group that he opposed the 2008 $48 million Parks Tax. That’s his opinion. The Blower wonders what he’ll say when videos and literature show that he actually supported and spearhead the Monster Parks Tax?
Finally, in today’s “Keeping Up With the Joneses Segment,” the Cabal out to Destroy Crazy Eric Deters, says Lovely Lisa Wells, who’s getting paid by WLW Hate Radio for doing the program “Crazy Eric” used to do for free, told us The Fishwrap was reporting Disgraced Bun-Gal’s Cheerleader Sarah Jones once claimed she worked as a secretary at Eric Deters Law Office in Independence. Our Caballeros wonder if we’ll have to wait until April 24 when Crazy Eric’s 61-day Kentucky Bar Association suspension is over to hear more about her position there.
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our April fund-raising drive by Joey Votto’s Agent, for all the publicity The Blower will be giving their client every time he strikes out with the bases loaded.
OPENING DAY HOT LINE
e-mail your 2012 forecasts today.
Some fair weather items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally fair weather subscribers.
Link of the Day
10 Worst Ceremonial First Pitches
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.