Saturday, March 3, 2012
Robocalls Gone Wild!
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says today it’s only three more days (and about 427 more robocalls) until Super Duper Tuesday on March 6, and you can feel the excitement in each one of our 88 counties. All over Ohio, so-called political writers and talking heads on TV will be tell us “It’s the most import Ohio Primary Election in history,” because after all, isn’t our state motto “Ohio, the Gall Bladder of It All?”
Three of the four 2012 Presidential Hopefuls will be flying around the state today looking for votes. Romney, Gingrich, and Santorum will be attending the taping of Fox News’ Huckabee show Saturday at the former DHL facility in Wilmington where more than 8,000 people lost their jobs when the place closed. Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and Mitt Romney will even be in Southwestern Ohio: Newt’s free event is at 9 A.M. at the Back Porch Saloon in Hamilton. Rick’s free event at the Crowne Plaza in Blue Ash is at 9:30 A.M. and it’s “All the Free Ribs You Can Eat with Mitt” at the Montgomery Inn Boathouse at 6:15 P.M. These events are such a BFD, down at Hamilton County RINO Party Headquarters, Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP’s DemocRAT Errand Boy Ashwin Corattiyil even sent out an e-mail to promote both events in the order of their appearance.- Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says somebody must’ve seen something interesting in the Ohio Second Congressional District poll numbers this week, or else why would That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt actually be buying last-minute TV commercials to tell voters she’s “Above Reproach” after her opponent, war hero Brad Wenstrup, donated so much of his own money to his own campaign.
Meanwhile, all those Dumbed-down, Self-absorbed, Media-influenced, Celebrity-obsessed, Politically-correct Uninformed Short-attention-span Registered Voters are waiting for those endorsement idiotorials in The Fishwrap to see who they tell them which candidates they should support.
And Tea Party Members will be watching re-broadcasts of CFK-TV’s Political Science Theater 2012 to see who won that big debate in Newtown on Ronald Reagan’s birthday last month. [WATCH IT HERE]
- Ecologists say it’s a good thing all this mudslinging will soon end. The Ohio Department of Natural Resources fears drastic ecological consequences to the beaver population and to other aquatic wildlife due to an acute shortage of mud. “We think it has something to do with that million dollars worth of negative ads the Ohio GOP House Caucus is spending to protect lackeys like $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg against ‘TaxKiller Tom’ Brinkman,” the ODNR spokesman explained.
- And think about how many gazillions of dollars the Ohio RINO Party is spending to keep their stooges on the Republican State Central Committee. Wouldn’t that money be better spent battling Obama and his Disingenuous DemocRATS between now and November?
Concerned Citizen Volunteers will be going door-to-door with their Green Door Hangers telling Anderson Over-Taxed Payers that the school administration and teachers were illegally using school property and public resources to influence the vote for the Forest Gump School’s humongous tax hike so township property owners of $200,000 houses can pay $2,000-a-year to support the greedy teachers and administrators. School Nazis will be tearing down free “Vote No” signs property owners picked up at Steve Duffy’s Salem Hardware. And on WLW Hate Radio, Darryl Parks will be telling people “Anybody who votes for a school levy is stupid.”
Finally, at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about that time in 1970 when he was the Cincinnati Regional Center Manager of that gigantic News Election Service vote tabulating facility taking up the entire north bay of the Cincinnati Convention Center on Election night. It was so big, Kane needed a golf cart to get from one end to the other of the area.
“In those days, NES was a consortium of the three major TV networks (ABC, CBS, and NBC) and the two major wire services (AP and UPI),” Kane explained.
On Election Night in 1970, hundreds of well-paid NES temps in Cincinnati took calls from polling places and boards of election through our eight-state region on 482 Cincinnati Bell telephones with large indicator lights (so we could see which states the calls were coming from). That information was then key-punched, verified, fed into a computer the size of a Cincinnati Streetcar, and sent to NES Headquarters in New York so the TV networks could show the latest vote total information and decide when to project a winner in each race at the same time the wire services would be sending the same information to their subscribers by teletype.
What was the most interesting thing that happened that election night? Kane was asked? “I remember when John Gilligan tried to sneak in our secure facility to see how he was doing in his gubernatorial race and I had him thrown out,” Kane recalled. “DemocRATS were sneaky bastards, even then.”
- Meanwhile, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says he hopes there’s this much excitement 80 days when Kentucky’s 45 GOP delegates are chosen, in case Romney hasn’t wiped out the rest of those clowns by then.
CAMPAIGN COUNTDOWN HOT LINE
e-mail your last-minute hit pieces today
Some negative advertising items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally negative advertising subscribers, but we could always use more.
Link of the Day
Damned Stupid Voters – Barack Obama has a Strategy Session
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.