Sunday, March 11, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was in Columbus when Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders said it was still a long way until the November Elections, and with all that hype from Super Duper Tuesday’s Primaries subsiding, everybody’s realizing our election results in Ohio didn’t really settle anything at all.
Mitt Romney still needs 732 more delegates on the Old GOP Delegate Counter; today there are caucuses in Kansas, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Guam, and the North Mariana Islands; and Tuesday there will be primaries in Alabama and Mississippi with more caucuses in Hawaii and American Samoa.
OUR NUMBER TWO LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when The Blower published a special e-dition about how The Highland County Press had refused to retract its endorsement of “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup after Mean Jean’s News Flack Barrett Brunsman called to intimidate Publisher & Owner of the Highland County Press. Rory Ryan. Not only did that bonehead play earn the Schmidtheads a special edition in The Blower and an extra editorial in The Highland County Press, but it also earned them ridicule in Friday’s Top Ten List in the Whistleblower, something savvy political operatives seek to avoid at all costs.
No wonder some people actually don’t believe Barrett when he tells them the Schmidtheads had “absolutely nothing to do with those mysterious robocalls” that caused Mean Jean’s antagonist, Defeated DemocRAT David Kevorkian to lose his primary election against a long distance truck driver from Pike County that nobody ever heard of.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE LOCAL STORY THIS WEEK was when The Blower didn’t see any “Daily Talking Points,” “Schedule,” or “Comments on Important Issues of the Day” from the “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup Campaign Press Office Friday morning like we get every day from some of the other campaigns. Instead of Oogling and Googling all their press clippings, you’d think Brad’s Brigade would realize they didn’t “win” on Tuesday, despite the fact that their candidate was an attractive alternative to an incumbent who was the most embarrassing elected official in Southwestern Ohio History (including Jerry Springer). It was “Mean Jean’s” campaign that lost.
MONDAY in our Special ““Indecision 2012” E-dition, The Blower If you don’t vote, you’re leaving the decision to somebody even dumber than you are!:
Before every election, The Whistleblower is always deluged with calls, faxes, text messages, and e-mails asking which candidates and issues we plan to endorse. As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing which will be forever known as Indecision 2012, our readers have every right to expect nothing less.
But the fact that only one day before Ohio’s 2012 Primary Elections, after all of our penetrating reporting and scathing commentary, there can be any doubt about which candidates or issues we might cheer or jeer is further tribute to the astounding even-handedness of our always fair-and-balanced journalism.
And in MONDAY’s Special “Last Minute Truth Piece” E-dition, The Blower uncovered some real journalism for a change:
Every weekend before an election since That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch first ran for Congress, “Mean Jean” Schmidt has benefited from a hit piece in The Fishwrap smearing one of her opponents.
Sometimes, Skaggie Maggie (shown at right with Her Meanness) assigned Hawaiian Hottie Maya Ruin in Washington to wield her hatchet. Other times, Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced-DemocRAT Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Not-yet-Disbarred Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley joined in on the fun.
But to what do our wondering eyes should appear Sunday night, but this e-mail from Rory Ryan, Publisher & Owner of the Highland County Press.
TUESDAY in our Official “Election Day Debacle” E-dition, The Blower asked, “Which candidate were we supposed to vote for, anyway?,” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Just think—as soon as they count up all our new 2012 Republican Party Presidential Delegates tonight, there’ll only be 32 more caucuses and primaries to go. —Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and Ron Paul
Where can we go to “unregister” so we stop getting all those Robocalls? —Registered Republicans
We’ll sure miss all those attack ads? —Local Greedy TV Ad Salesmen
After tonight, will every so-called political writer in Ohio and talking head on TV stop saying how important the Ohio Primary was? —Whistleblower Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
If you think Obama’s first term has been “historic,” wait till his second term. —Obama Supporters in the Press
WEDNESDAY in our Souvenir “2012 Ohio Primary Election” E-dition, The Blower reported “Fraud at Polls!”
Hurley the Historian says The Whistleblower Newswire came out of retirement nineteen years ago last November. It was the day after Election Day in 1992 following our decision to suspend publication a year earlier.
We had to return. Our November 5, 1991 Edition # 75 of the original Whistleblower was supposed to be our final edition. But after witnessing an endless barrage of biased reporting and the unmitigated mess the news media made of Campaign ’92, the results of that year’s elections were not all that surprising.
Political Pundits say Tuesday’s vote in Ohio was the first major skirmish in the 2012 battle for the White House, especially after Big Labor Goons and Disingenuous DemocRATS spent all those millions of dollars telling lies to defeat Issue 2’s collective bargaining reforms and thousands of hours destroying Issue 2 signs. And when even The Fishwrap calls them lies, you know they are, because nobody does it better they do.
And left-wing lunatics always predict The Whistleblower will cease to exist after Election Day, and once again this year, that prophecy did not come true. Our Quote for Today Committee says according to Mark Twain, “Reports of our death have been greatly exaggerated,” and as Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told Political Insiders at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, now it looks as if we’re going to have to stick around for just a little while longer.
THURSDAY, in our Official “Whistleblower Gloating” E-dition, The Blower said, “Gloat, Gloat, Gloat, Gloat, Gloat, Gloat, Gloat”. And later in THURSDAY’S Special “Election Post Mortem” E-dition, The Blower said even her own Clermont County Cronies buried her!
Christmas came early at the Whistleblower Newswire’s offices Tuesday night, and the entire staff stayed up late to put out a special edition to that Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt had finally been defeated, because the Maggie/Che$ley/Cunningham cabal was unable to save Old Wrinkle-Puss one last time. Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane even invited everybody to join The Whistleblower Munchkin Chorus singing, “Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead.”
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FRIDAY in our Special “Forgotten, but Not Quite Forgotten” E-dition, The Blower said everybody was still talking about Mean Jean.
Today it’s the Top Ten Titanic Reasons “Mean Jean’s” News Flack Barrett Brunsman tried to intimidate Rory Ryan, Publisher & Owner of the Highland County Press:
10. I forgot
9. The dog ate it
8. She told me she loved me
7. I did it to help the homeless
6. The Devil made me do it
5. I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
4. I’m a news flack
3. I was framed
2. This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake
…and the Number One Reason “Mean Jean’s” News Flack Barrett Brunsman tried to intimidate Rory Ryan, Publisher & Owner of the Highland County Press is… Barry Bennett and Joe Jansen running “Mean Jean’s” campaign said nobody would ever find out.
SATURDAY in our Special “ Losers Weepers” E-dition, The Blower said there was still no joy in Crony County:
With Romney’s win in Ohio, the Ohio Media is still talking up Rob “Fighting for Fund-raisers” Portman’s VP chances, despite the fact that he chose our Bitch-in-a-Ditch to succeed him in Congress. But Thursday we got a robo-call from Republican U.S. Senate Candidate Josh Mandel inviting people to his fund-raiser in Sharonville next Tuesday morning, featuring everybody’s choice for VP, Senator Marc Rubio from Florida. State Rep-Tile Candidate Mike Wilson is coat-tailing that event with an e-mail invitation. Does he think those big names are going to let him speak?
Some of “Mean Jean’s” supporters have become comically unhinged. For example, the Blogging Blobs of Brown County who we’ll call Mark and Matt Hurley, just posted a long, incomprehensible diatribe against “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup and everyone who supported him. They included frequent references to “douches” and “douchebags,” and slurred the voters themselves for having the audacity to remove “Mean Jean” from office. At no point did they criticize “Mean Jean” for bringing these problems on herself, or for hiring inept campaign staff, or for waiting until the last week of the campaign to start campaigning. Nope, it’s everyone else’s fault.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
REPUBLICANS IN 2012: Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says looking at the results on the morning after Super Duper Tuesday, was Politics as Usual. Mitt Romney was rolling along with 412 of the 1,144 delegates he needs for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination in Tampa. Revered Former Ohio Congressman Bob McEwen was soldiering on as Newt Gingrich’s happy warrior on TV. And Mike DeWhine’s guarantee that Rick Santorum would win Ohio wasn’t worth a bucket of warm spit.- VOTER FRAUD: Why have there been so few complaints of voter fraud leading on Super Duper Tuesday on March 6? Maybe our Dishonest DemocRATS didn’t have any reasons to go to the polls.
- OBAMA 2012: According to Beltway Confidential, Obama delayed calling to congratulate Vladimir Putin on his supposed presidential victory due to difficulty scheduling the call, according to an Obama spokesman who said nothing of the State Department’s decision not to congratulate Putin because of widespread, credible reports of voter fraud. Obama’s congratulatory phone call came on the heels of the 29th anniversary of President Reagan’s “Evil Empire” speech. What a coincidence!
- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Conan O’Brien’s “The latest polls show Obama’s approval rating among women has risen by 10 percent. Many people believe this increase is due to Obama’s new campaign slogan: ‘Tell me about your day.’ In a few months Obama’s going to unveil this one: ‘Would you like white wine and a foot massage?’ ”
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says following Super Duper Tuesday, the perception is growing that Mitt Romney will be the Republican presidential nominee. By week’s end, Romney had moved ahead of the president in head-to-head polling. More important, 60% still believe America is in a Recession.
MORE POLITICS UNUSUAL: Many people think Gary Burbank must be some kind of “Conservative” because he recorded that Earl Pitts commercial lambasting “Mean Jean” Schmidt. So how “Conservative” would it make him when he did the same thing for former Channel 9 New Trollop Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin?”- MEDIA MENDACITY: “Mean Jean’s” Axis of Evil (Skaggie Maggie at The Fishwrap, Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced-DemocRAT Clinton-loving, Fen-Phen Scandal Plagued, Not-yet-Disbarred Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley, and WLW Hate Radio’s Bill Cunningham) got lazy and didn’t launch a last minute attack on “Mean Jean’s” main opponent, as had been their effective strategy in previous campaigns. This story went totally unreported, especially by The Fishwrap and WLW Hate Radio.
- OHIO RINO PARTY: In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says despite spending a gazillion dollars to keep Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine’s stooges on the Ohio Republican Party Central Committee, it appears Real Republicans spoke clearly and elected a majority of members. Do you think Kevin DeWhine’s days are numbered, especially his own vice Chairman Kay Ayers spent all that Party money on herself and lost.
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #258 says “Tell a Joke”: Q. What’s the difference between Obamacare and a car battery? A. The car battery has a positive side.
- MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: The Fishwrap also did not publish a single word about the reasons their Furloughed Fishwrapper, Mean Jean’s News Flack Barrett Brunsman called to intimidate Rory Ryan, the Publisher & Owner of the Highland County Press.
HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: Was Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP surprised Tuesday’s big rally for Ohio Republican U.S. Senate Candidate Josh Mandel featuring GOP Super Star Marco Rubio is being held in Alex T.’s still-Blue Hamilton County, when there are so many Red Counties nearby?- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: tells The Blower they will be releasing some revealing information on Connie the Pillager sometime next week. In the meantime, their latest blog entry asks its readers to identify the reasons behind Mean Jean Schmidt’s glorious defeat at the hands of Brad Wenstrup. They ask everyone to write their thoughts in the comments section.
- THE CINCINNATI MESS: Troubled Taxpayeer Tino Delgato thinks selling Music Hall for $1 is a brilliant idea. With this kind of ingenuity I bet they could sell the Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center for $2. This is from the same folks that gave $1 million to the new owners of the Mahogany restaurant at the Banks. Has anyone on City Clown-sale ever run a business successfully? Go Figure!!!
IN ANDERSON: When Down at the Hamilton County Courthouse, CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says the trial of Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien is now over, and Judge Nadel will be rendering his ruling by April 11 which will determine whether Whacky Jacky’s Illegitimate Son still owes his former employer Baird & Company any part of that paltry $378,000 it claim he owes. [SEE COURT RECORDS HERE]
Don’t expect to see any news coverage by Kevin’s enablers at the Forest Hills Urinal. They’re still busy celebrating passage of the Forest Gump School District’s humongous tax hike which will now force township property owners of $200,000 houses to pay $2,000-a-year to support the greedy teachers and administrators. But the Urinators don’t deserve all the credit. The non-political Anderson Area Chamber of Commerce gets a little too.
- READING THE TEA LEAVES: In its Election Day Recap, the Anderson Tea Party said your taxes will be going up to support a very large obligation to the teachers union labor contract. Once again, over-taxpayers will be forced to “bail out” elected officials who failed to make the tough choices. Our Tea Partiers seem willing to continue their struggle, although The Blower isn’t sure they have a real plan to persist.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for Saint Patrick’s Day, we found in his “Want to Touch My Shillelagh, Little Girl?” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Some Wearin’ Of the Green
Saturday is Saint Patrick’s Day
When it’s chic to wear some green.
And the girlies all dye their thongs
In hopes it will be seen.
- IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Our Clermont Crusader says another Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend “Say It Ain’t So Joe” Braun actually admitted on Facebook this week “On August 2, 2005, my friend Jean Schmidt became the first woman to represent the Cincinnati area in the United States House of Representatives. I am proud to have been a part of that tough campaign and the effort that launched her career in Congress.”
- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo in the Fourth Congressional GOP Primary, Gary No-Moore has successfully won the endorsement of the AFL-CIO and NoKY Labor Council. WTF Gary? Wonder if Judge Spendery is still glad he signed Gary’s filing papers? Nutsy Rogers is out putting up Massie signs, and Thomas has yet to figure out that crazy loon might be worth 200 votes, but he will cost him 2,000.
- THIS WEEK IN KENTON CIRCUIT COURT: The latest and greatest e-dition of Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E Rob Sanders March-Madness filled e-newsletter is on cyber news stands now! This week’s This Week In Kenton Circuit Court features a grotesque group of guys that you certainly don’t want dating your daughters! Take these specimens for example… Bobby Leach says the world would be a much better place if their mothers had swallowed!
- ANOTHER FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT UPDATE: WLW Radio Hottie Lady Lawyer Lisa Wells won wonders when The Blower will start counting down the days until Eric ‘Call Me Crazy,’ Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters 61-day suspension of his law license will be over.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this day in 1989, “COPS,” a documentary-style television series that follows police officers and sheriff’s deputies as they go about their jobs, debuted on Fox, but it wasn’t until recently that we’ve been able to watch “Police Babes of Cincinnati” on The Leering Channel.
- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose this line you probably shouldn’t on a police woman: “Oops…I thought you were a prostitute.”
CFK-TV: The guys at Political Science Theater 2012 were really wrong when they predicted the outcome of Ohio’s Second Congressional Primary. [SEE WHERE THEY MADE THEIR MISTAKE]- THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane who put the wrong date on Thursday’s e-dition. “I guess we were too busy gloating over Mean Jean’s demise,” Kane admitted, “ but now that Super Duper Tuesday is finally over, it’s time for The Whistleblower to get back to doing what it does so well— turning over the rocks to shine the light of truth on what we find underneath. It’s time for our snitches and bitches to get back to work.”
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “239” days away and the Bluegrass primary in May 22 is 77 days away.
Monday we’ll be celebrating Political Backstabbers’ Week, which culminates Thursday on the Ides of March.
Tuesday you’ll be reading “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers,” which might include nominations for the Whistleblower’s Political Backstabber of the Year.
Wednesday will be Backstabbers’ Day Eve and we’ll be featuring Lady Backstabbers in their Evening Gown Competition.
Thursday, the winner of the Whistleblower’s Political Backstabber of the Year will be announced.
The first line of Friday’s limerick will be: “Celebrating Political Backstabbing Day.”
And Saturday will be Saint Patrick’s Day, and our Good Friend Bobby Leach can hardly wait till Erin Goes Braless.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
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