Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Real E-mails from Real Subscribers

• Any Supreme Court Justice who rules against Obamacare would surely be racist. —Obama Supporters in the Press
• Only 62% think Obamacare will cause companies to drop Employee Health Insurance. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
• Remember when I said we had to pass Obamacare so we would know what’s in it? —Nancy Pelosi
•  If the Supreme Court strikes down Obamacare, could I say “At least they didn’t say my version was unconstitutional?” —Mitt Romney
• With only “223” more days until the November Elections, why should I get out of the race? I only need 74% of the remaining delegates. —Rick Santorum
• What percentage of the Central Committee members do I need to keep my job as Ohio RINO Party Boss? —Kevin DeWhine
• I was in Washington to hear the arguments on Monday so I could send out more e-mails at over-taxed paper expense to keep my constituents updated on the progress,  not just as another excuse to ask for donations.  — Kevin’s Cousin, Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine
• Why would Republicans pony up $150-per-couple just to hear me speak at this year’s better-late-than-never Hamilton County RINO Party “Lincoln and Reagan Are Turning Over in Their Graves Because of What We’ve Done to Their Party” Dinner, when they can see the same blather on Fox TV for free? —Karl Rove
• Do you think The Fishwrap likes my proposal to have work requirements for Section 8 recipients? —Congressman Steve Chabothead
• Was it silly for Huffpost Politics to report Mean Jean Schmidt won’t commit to revealing her job negotiations with lobbyists? [SEE THAT STORY HERE] We only hire former lawmakers with influence and credibility. She doesn’t have any, and nobody will have to pay attention to anything that stupid woman has to say ever again. —Lobbyists on K Street
• So who is the high-ranking member of “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s campaign pulled over on election night by the Newtown Police Department and given a warning for DUI? —Dirt Digging DemocRATS
• Four more years! Four More Years! —Cincinnati Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil
• Do you think I’ll do a better job getting the ball over the plate than our Girly Mayor did when I throw out the first pitch on the Reds Opening Day? —Senile Sheriff Si Leis
• Please stop telling the truth to consumers about our lousy Cincinnati Bell service.  Any time you call for service, you get some fool in the Philippines who hates the United States. But they work cheap and allow me to keep pulling down millions in salary each year while helping cover-up that “Erasure-Gate” Scandal at Taft High School, especially since an investigative report published in Sunday’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution found indications of standardized test cheating in school systems throughout the U.S. —Jack Cassidy, CEO, Cincinnati Bell.
• Got any more interesting information on me? —Cincinnati’s Useless Police Chief
• Please don’t ask why Gannett’s First Amendment Attorney Jack Greiner hasn’t filed a Freedom of Information Request after Judge Nadel sealed the so-called settlement documents (where Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien’s former employer was seeking repayment of a paltry $336,175 the company paid to just one of Kevin’s former clients who committed suicide)? —The Forest Hills Urinal 
• We’re glad nobody’s reporting the facts to our citizens like those guys in Lebanon. —Forrest Gump Schools
• After Whitney Houston’s death was determined to be drowning in a bath tub, we knew it wouldn’t be long before Ryan Widmer’s name popped up again looking for an appeal! —Warren County Prosecutors
• At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, I predicted Liberals would be allowed to make Dick Cheney jokes after the former Republican Vice President’s heart transplant last week. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane 
• Are all of my snitches still on Spring Break? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
• We’re not on Spring Break. It just seems that way. —Candidates Still Not Running Very Hard for Goof Doofus’ Seat in Congress in Just 56 More Days
• You know it is a sure sign of spring when UK and Louisville are still playing basketball and UC and Xavier are back home watching the Final Four on TV. —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
• Don’t you wish Morehead State were still in the NCAA Tournament?  We’d be looking into the stands for all the good looking fans that show support for their team, and/or extracurricular activities. —Sportscasters on TV
• The Morehead the merrier! —Horny in Hebron
• What kind of T-shirts could we wear to our game? —Wilder Women
• On this day in 1998, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved use of the drug Viagra, an oral medication that treats impotence, and Our Good Friend Bobby Leach says, “Next to BB&BJ Day, all my old friends and I say Viagra Day at Morehead is our favorite holiday of the entire year.” —Hurley the Historian
• And that’s why we chose Rodney Dangerfield’s, “I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
• Trish the Dish wants to know why somebody sent her that Morehead State T-Shirt. —TV 19 News
• Sheree Paolello says somebody sent her one, too. —Jack Atherton

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

         Sometimes The Blower ridicules Obamacare to show passing unconstitutional laws is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Disingenuous DemocRAT member of Congress.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Nancy Pelosi. 

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