Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Real E-mails from Real Subscribers
On this date in 1854, the Republican Party was founded in Ripon, Wisconsin to oppose the spread of slavery into the western territories, and his year Obama celebrated the event working on his brackets for the 2012 NCAA Basketball Tournament. —Hurley the Historian- Now that I’ve won the 2012 Presidential Primary in Puerto Rico, does that mean all Latinos will be voting Republican this year in only “230” more days? —Mitt Romney
- Not everybody at that St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Pittsburgh booed me. —Joe Biden
- We’re accomplishing so little in Congress these days, maybe we should all be on Spring Break. —John Boehner and Harry Reid
- Elected Officials say they want to get all that big money out of politics and back into their pockets where it belongs. —Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders
- When will the FBI open its investigation of those Rogue Robocalls friends of “Mean Jean” Schmidt used to defeat me in the DemocRAT Congressional Primary? —David Kevorkian
If you think that video of Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane appearing in an erotic Chippendales video with a RINO, two Devious DemocRATS, and a Gay Darkie Mayor was embarrassing, wait till you see what we’ve uncovered to expose other prominent Conservatives to use in this year’s elections. — DemocRAT National Committee Opposition Research Operation - I hope nobody reads the Republicans for Higher Taxes article asking if I am a racist.” —Connie “the Pillager” Pillich
- Once again I voted against the Drake land deal because I’d rather raise property taxes to give more money to Mike Brown and the stadiums. —Greg “Tax Hike” Hartmann
- We will continue to downplay the fact that the Union Terminal building is owned by the City of Cincinnati. —Museum Center CEO Douglass McDonald
What’s wrong with referring to my colleagues as “niggardly?” —Racial Healing DemocRAT U.S. Senator Sherrod Brown- Liz Rogers and James Craig say I should thank The Blower for making me feel welcome as Cincinnati’s new Economic Development Director. —Odis Jones
- I’m no longer part of the anti-school tax group I founded because The Fishwrap couldn’t stop whining about some of my derogatory comments on a blog about Lakota mothers. —Rich Hoffman
- Please don’t ask why Gannett’s First Amendment Attorney Jack Greiner didn’t file a Freedom of Information Request when Judge Nadel sealed the so-called settlement documents where Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin O’Brien’s former employer was seeking repayment of a paltry $336,175 the company paid to just one of Kevin’s former clients who committed suicide. —Forest Hills Urinal
Are all of my snitches still on Spring Break? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo- Maybe that’s why we chose Robin Williams’ “Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’” —Robin Williams
- We’re not on Spring Break. It just seems that way. —Candidates Not Running Very Hard for Goof Doofus’ Seat in Congress in Just 63 More Days
- Usually it’s a sure sign of spring when UK is playing basketball and UC isn’t. —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall
- But it’s Spring Break in Florida. The temperature’s warm, teenage tramps have gone wild, and thongs are particularly lovely this time of year. —Frank Weikel
- Please add Venice, Florida to the list of places The Blower is watching guys who took their wives and teenage children on Spring Break so they can spend all day on the beach ogling young girls’ breasts. —Larry Laptop
- Did you know some of our newer phones allow The Blower’s photos to come through? —Barry Blackberry
Spring comes today on BB&BJ Day and so will I. —Bobby Leach- According to my countdown, after today there will still 364 more days until the next BB&BJ Day. —Horny in Hebron
- When does The Blower’s 2012 Girls Gone Wild on Spring Break video come out? —Will “The Thrill” Terwort
- Where’s our video? —Wilder Women
- Friday night, we’re showing “Yabbos from Outer Space.” —Flashlight Theater
- We don’t need any videos, we just fake it, as usual. —Uptight Bitches from Fort Mitchell
- Does what happen on Spring Break stay on Spring Break? —Political Philanderers
- Do guys still drink a lot on Spring Break? —Nathan “Cornbread” Smith and Michael Liquid Plummer
- Do guys get to eat a lot on Spring Break? —Clueless Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich
- I always used to go “crazy” on Spring Break. —E. Rob Sanders
- Come to think of it, maybe that’s what happened to my former patient. —“Crazy Eric’s” Crazy Psychiatrist
- Trish the Dish wants to know what BB&BJ stands for. —TV 19 News
- Sheree Paolello says Trish ought to know. —Jack Atherton
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower ridicules old guys who take their wives and children on Spring Break to show that ogling young girls’ breasts on the beach is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a dirty old man.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Ollie Ogler.
BB&BJ DAY HOTLINE
e-mail your last-minute gift-giving suggestions today.
Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers.
Link of the Day
PLUS
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.