Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Real E-mails from Real Subscribers

• Everybody’s getting ready to celebrate “Political Backstabbers Day” Thursday on the Ides of March to commemorate that historic date in 44 BCE when Brutus and the rest of the RINOs in the Senate stabbed Roman Emperor Julius Caesar in the back, the front, and just about every other place on his body. —Hurley the Historian
• I remember last week when Obama told me “I’ve got your back.” —Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu
• It’s a shame The Whistleblower couldn’t schedule a Republican Presidential Debate on the Ides of March. —Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and Ron Paul
• People are already sending in their nominations for “Political Backstabber of the Year.” —Backstabber of the Year Selection Committee
• Could we nominate each other? —Ohio GOP Governor John Kasich and Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine?
• Is there a limit to the number of nominations a person can make? —That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch first ran for Congress, “Mean Jean” Schmidt
• How about nominating a BFF? —A Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend
•  Is it OK to nominate a fellow township trustee? —Disgraced Anderson Township Trustee Kevin O’Brien
• With only “237” more days until the Presidential Elections, Obama will be hopping on Air Force One today for an over-taxed payer funded photo op during half time at a first-round NCAA tournament game in Dayton. —White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
• My Hamilton County RINO Party may be weeks late scheduling a Lincoln Day Dinner, but we’re right on time with our NCAA Bracket Challenge. —Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
• The NCAA says it’s waiting to choose Cincinnati as a future March Madness tournament host until the Trolley Folly is up and running. —Girly Mayor Mark Mallory and his Extreme Liberal Clown-cil at the City Hall Circus
• The time has been moved up to 8 AM for this morning’s big fund-raiser in Sharonville, featuring everybody’s choice for Republican VP, Senator Marco Rubio from Florida. —Josh Mandel, Ohio Treasurer and Republican U.S. Senate Candidate
• When Obama denies federal disaster relief to one of your counties, is a Republican Congressman supposed to say something? —“Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Campaign Press Office
• We had had “absolutely nothing to do with those mysterious robocalls” that caused Defeated DemocRAT David Kevorkian to lose his primary election against a long distance truck driver from Pike County that nobody ever heard of. —Mean Jean’s News Flack Barrett Brunsman 
• Is there a separate category for “Backstabbers in Broadcasting?”—Your WLW Hate Radio Snitch (Probably not Darryl Parks)
• Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who’s the biggest backstabber of all?  —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
• In Northern Kentucky, Political Backstabbing isn’t even a misdemeanor. —Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
• Our place wouldn’t be big enough to hold them all. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl
• If you’re an elected official in Northern Kentucky, you might be a backstabber. —Jeff Foxworthy
• How about former elected officials? —Vanilla Hills Mayor Mike Martin
• With only 70 more days until the Bluegrass Primaries, how many of those GOP candidates (like Thomas Massie, Judge Once Moore, Brian D. Oerther, Alecia Webb-Edgington, Tom Wurtz, Marcus Carey, and Walter C. Schumm) who want my seat in Congress are “Political Backstabbers?” —Goof Doofus
• Every member of the Bluegrass Bar Association is a backstabber. —Eric “Call Me Crazy,” Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator Deters
• Not every member of the American Bar Association is a Political Backstabber. —William T. Robinson III
• Some of our best friends are “Backstabbers.” —League of Women Vipers
• On the Ides of March, Political Backstabbers drink free. —Mainstrasse Bars
• Recovering Backstabbers are always welcome. —Backstabbers Anonymous
• See you there. —Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan Cornbread Smith
• What’s the best part about the Ides of March on March 15? It means BB&BJ Day on March 20 is only five days away. —Our good friend Bobby Leach
• Everybody’s wondering why I’m having an Ides of March Party on Thursday, instead of my customary more traditional St. Patrick’s Day Party on Saturday. And don’t forget, all of you Bluegrass Backstabbers, this year, it’s BYOK (Bring Your Own Knives). —Miss Vicki 
• Hey, Everybody… Trish the Dish wants to know what happened to all the clocks. —TV 19 News   
• TV5’s Sheree Paolello told everybody not to forget to change their fire extinguishers. —Jack Atherton

 — Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

          Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Political Backstabbing to show that “hypocrisy and insincerity” are not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t working on a political campaign.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Political Consultants.

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