Wednesday, March 7, 2012
We’re Still Staying Around
Hurley the Historian says The Whistleblower Newswire came out of retirement nineteen years ago last November. It was the day after Election Day in 1992 following our decision to suspend publication a year earlier.
Hurley the Historian says we had to return. Our November 5, 1991 Edition # 75 of the original Whistleblower was supposed to be our final edition. But after witnessing an endless barrage of biased reporting and the unmitigated mess the news media made of Campaign ’92, the results of that year’s elections were not all that surprising.
The voters in ’92, 95% of whom learned all they knew by watching daily distortions on local and national TV newscasts, sent to the White House, a draft-dodging, tax-evading, dope-smoking, pants-dropping, wife-cheating liar whom we predicted would surely drag this nation down to the level of Arkansas.
America got a leader it truly deserved— more arrogant than JFK, fewer scruples than LBJ, and rivaling the Carter-Mondale administration for sheer stupidity.
Fast forward to the Obama-nation of 2008, which was the most dishonest, relentlessly one-sided presidential campaign of bias and distortion by the mainstream media in American history. We thought we had witnessed the “Death of Objective Journalism in America,” but unfortunately, this year our Obama Supporters in the Press are still too lazy, too stupid, or too dishonest to bring you the truth.
Not that all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span registered voters gave a big rat’s ass. People seemed surprised when we asked them if they planned to vote on Tuesday. Their ignorance and apathy were overwhelming. We thought we were watching Jay Leno interviewing all those really stupid people on TV.
This year on Super Duper Tuesday, the Obama administration scheduled a full-blown presidential press conference to cut into GOP headlines on a day that was otherwise was guaranteed to be dominated by Republicans fighting for delegates in ten states. (The administration that promised “transparency,” can’t get any more transparent than that.)
Tuesday night, with only “243” more days until the 2012 Elections, the U.S. Debt Clock nearing $15.5 trillion, The Whistleblower is already looking at the latest update on the GOP Delegate Counter to see who got those 419 delegates in ten states that were up for grabs on Super Duper Tuesday’s Primary Elections. - Will The Blower be gloating about the number of our predictions that came true? You bet! As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in the tri-state, our readers have every right to expect nothing less.
Remembering all that well-deserved RINO-bashing watching the effects of Alex T., Mall Cop GOP’s “Vote for Five” jive to take control of Cincinnati City Clown-cil last November, last night we were how effective the all those gazillions of dollars the Ohio RINO Party spent to keep their stooges on the Republican State Central Committee, and how much the Ohio GOP House Caucus spending all that money on lying ads to protect its lackeys like $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg.
And no matter which candidate won Ohio’s Presidential Primary on Super Duper Tuesday, That Corrupt Evicted Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Bought-and-paid-For Tax-and-Spend Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt could always claim she had her picture with him on her campaign web page.
Republicans for Higher Taxes updated their blog one final time before the primary to pay tribute to Bungals Owner Mike Brown, who donated $1,000 to the same $tate Rep-tile for $ale Peter $tautberg. They asked everyone to carry out Brown’s wishes by voting for his candidate $tautberg over Stadium Tax opponent “Tax Killer Tom” Brinkman.
Hereabouts, as everybody woke up with hangovers from all that celebrating at Tuesday night’s victory parties, Wednesday will long be remembered as “The Day All Those Damn Robocalls Ended.” Is 432 any kind of a record? And how did Barbara Bush and Nancy Reagan get our unlisted cell phone number anyway?
Revered Former Ohio Congressman Bob McEwen was up at the crack of dawn of Tuesday doing National TV interviews on PMSNBC’s Daily Rundown after Monday night after the usual suspects who call themselves “local pundits” told Fox News’ Bret Baier Monday night how important Ohio is, because no Republican has ever gone to the White House without first winning the Buckeye State. Stop the Presses!
In Clermont County some folks in the mainstream media followed The Blower’s lead reporting the Battle of the Bogus Sample Ballots. In Anderson, School Nazis got caught vandalizing “Vote No” signs at Salem Hardware. There were the usual smelly old people working at the polling places on Election Day, and the reason it took so long to fill out a simple Republican ballot was you had to fill in 19 of those little rectangles with a ball point pen that was running out of ink.
But at The Blower, we were all waiting for final returns to come in from Hillsboro where Mean Jean’s News Flack Barrett Brunsman failed to intimidate Rory Ryan, Publisher & Owner of the Highland County Press (“We’ll stand by Wenstrup endorsement”) and to see how accurate CFK-TV’s Political Science Theater 2012’s prediction was about the outcome of Ohio Second Congressional District Primary.
- Back in ’92, The Blower only planned to stay around for a short time. But even after 7,063 straight days of penetrating reporting, scathing commentary, and shining the light of truth on liars and deceivers, our Kneepad Liberals in the Press (especially Skaggie Maggie and her Feckless Fishwrappers) still don’t get it. Their coverage of Indecision 2012 Primary Campaign became even more lazy, stupid, and dishonest. “Media Watchdogs, indeed!” How can they claim that with straight faces when the guy responsible for editorials urging you to vote for take hikes doesn’t even bother to pay some of his taxes?
Voters have not yet learned what those Loony Libertarians always say, that “a vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil,” and people who don’t stand for something will fall for anything, because no matter the outcome, you should never ever vote for a candidate you don’t really believe in.- Left-wing lunatics always predict The Whistleblower will cease to exist after every Election Day, and once again this year, that prophecy did not come true. Our Quote for Today Committee says according to Mark Twain, “Reports of our death have been greatly exaggerated,” and as Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told Political Insiders at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, now it looks as if we’re going to have to stick around for just a little while longer.
You have only yourselves to blame.
We’re going to do it until they get it right.
- So perhaps it’s time once again for Our Beloved Whistleblower Motto (Let’s all say it together):
Because wherever there’s corruption, we’ll be there.
Wherever there’s injustice, we’ll be there.
And wherever there’s a bunch of big guys beating up on a little guy, we’ll be there too…holding the little guy down. And that goes double for RINOs.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially lazy, stupid, and dishonest members of the news media.
My Statement of Principles
- I will provide the people of the tri-state with a publication that will tell the news honestly.
- I will also provide them with a fighting and tireless champion of their rights as citizens and as human beings.
Signed
Charles Foster Kane
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially sleazy politicians and party bosses.
FRAUD AT POLLS HOT LINE
e-mail your sleazy sightings today.
Some dishonest voter items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally dishonest voter subscribers
Link of the Day
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.