MONDAY, JUNE 6, 2016

And It Turned Out To Be A Huge “Disappointment”

Today was “D-Day” in Cincinnati, and when the counter at the lower-right-hand corner of the Whistleblower Web Page had finally completed clicking off the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until “Jaywalking Joe” Deters’ overdue press conference at 1 PM this afternoon, there stood the Hamilton County Prosecutor before a room packed with masterfully played reporters (just the way $tan Che$ley taught him), waiting for another indictment, because why else would you schedule a press conference when a “No Charges” e-mail to the news media would’ve done the job?

Today’s indictment was supposed to be for Michelle Gregg, the mother of the 4-year-old (downgraded to a 3-year-old) child whose actions had been responsible for the assassination of our Beloved Harambe, a 17-year-old Gorilla-American at the Cincinnati Zoo, who’d been shot by Maynard’s Murderers to “to protect” the mother’s trespassing offspring.

Somebody said they heard Deters say although he wouldn’t be charging “Michelle Gregg” with child endangerment, if he had been there, he’d have jumped into the gorilla pit and fought the 450-pound gorilla to the death, just to save the child.

Calls to Deters to confirm whether he meant he would’ve jumped into the gorilla pit before (or after) the gorilla had been killed were not returned.