Tuesday, May 19, 2015       

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers    

The big day has finally arrived, but will the National Spotlight really be on Kentucky tonight to see the results of the Bluegrass Primary Elections? —Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus

Today’s turnout in Kentucky might not match The Blower’s single digit prediction, but it could be the lowest turnout in Kentucky’s history. —Chief Election Official Alison Wondergams Grimes

Just remember what Jesse “The Body” Ventura always said: “If you don’t vote, you’ll be leaving the decision to someone even dumber than you are.” —Your Quote for Today Committee

People who don’t vote have no right to complain. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane

For weeks, everybody’s been wondering if history would once again repeat itself, like when TEA Party Candidate Rand Paul sent the establishment’s Trey Grayson back to Harvard in shame from his ass-kicking in that U.S. Senate Race GOP Primary. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

Watching the Bluegrass Primary results in 2010 was the worst night of my life. —Trey Grayson

Please don’t ask which Republican Senatorial Candidate I’m supporting. —Rand Paul 

Did Rand Paul even support me for Senate Minority Leader? —Bitch McConnell

Last weekend, my wife said it was “vile and disgusting” for Hal Heiner’s campaign to spread rumors about me abusing a slutty girlfriend in college. —GOP Gubernatorial Candidate James Comer

Republican Gubernatorial Campaigns weren’t getting a whole lot of publicity until last month when I pushed out a story that James Comer had physically abused a former girlfriend in college. —Conservative Blogger Michael Adams, Connected to Comer’s Opponent

We’re still investigating Adams for allegedly threatening Comer’s running mate’s daughters over the internet. —Kenton County Grand Jurors

I tried to stay above the fray and run funny campaign commercials about my opponents, but a Pro-Heiner group started running attack ads full of lies using the same arguments that were debunked in last year’s Senate race. Thankfully, the press is exposing these lies. —TEA Party Guy Matt Bevin

None of those commercials were as real as the ones I ran last year. —Fake Bluegrass U.S. Senate Candidate “Honest Gil” Fulbright, who launched his U.S. Senate campaign at the annual Fancy Farm Picnic, even though he wouldn’t actually appear on the ballot — and even though he wasn’t even a real person

Today’s 2015 Bluegrass Gubernatorial Primary is too close to call, since the latest Bluegrass Poll conducted by the Courier-Journal, the Lexington Herald-Leader, WHAS and WKYT found the GOP Gubernatorial Race reported: Bevin: 27%, Comer: 26%, Heiner: 25%, and Scott: 8%, with 14% undecided. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen

Does anybody remember how long it’s been since my crazy election picks appeared in The Blower? —Nathan “Cornbread” Smith  

Does a photo op with the UK Wildcats count as campaigning in Kentucky? —Bluegrass Politicians

Why are there so many unsolved murders in Kentucky? Because there are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA. —Your Late Night TV Jokewatcher

What if we said “No Republican has ever won the White House without first winning Kentucky?” —Former Fishwrapper Howard Wilkinson, who has never been heard from again at WNKU-FM in Northern Kentucky

And we’re doing our best to keep all that “Little Money” out of politics. —Super PACs

Remember what we always say: “A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. — Loony Libertarians

On this date in 1999, Disgraced Former DemocRAT President Bill Clinton apologized to the Chinese for bombing their embassy in Belgrade, Yugoslavia. Nowadays, Rambo-bama doesn’t have time to apologize— he just keeps on droning, and our Glory Hound in the White House will be spiking the football every chance he gets for the next 611 days of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.  —Hurley the Historian

Last year I was hoping I could do a better job managing Campbell County Sheriff Jeff Kidwell’s re-election campaign, than I did trying to help my protégé Rick “The Batboy” Robinson when he ran against Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams in the 1998 GOP Congressional Primary. —“BeanBall Jim” Bunning

Where can we go to “unregister” so we stop getting all those Robocalls? —Registered Republicans

We’re waiting to see how many of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, call us to ask about our irrelevant idiotorial endorsements to take to the polls today. —Skaggie Maggie’s Feckless Fishwrappers 

Even if there are only two races to vote on? —Dumbed-Down Fishwrap Subscribers

After tonight, what will we have to do to get our names in The Blower again? —Will T. Scott and Geoff Young

Would Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters have campaigned for Gatewood? —Northern Kentucky Potheads

Seriously, everybody—am I supposed to be running for anything today? —Former Fourth District Congressman Goof Doofus

The problem with this year’s primary was that there were not enough negative attack ads. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen

I bet The Blower is sorry you didn’t have me to kick around anymore after I didn’t run for re-election in 2014. —Scarry Garry Edmonson  

Covering the news in Kentucky is a big problem because it’s like a whole different state. —TV 19’s Trish the Dish

When did they change Kentucky’s State Motto to “Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names?” —TV5’s Sheree Paolello

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Scary Garry Edmondson, who thinks we won’t have him to kick around anymore.

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

          Sometimes The Blower makes fun of so-called Voting Rights Activists to show that “whining about Early Voting and Voter Fraud” is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Disingenuous DemocRAT.

BLUEGRASS PRIMARY HOTLINE

e-mail your voter fraud sightings today.

Some Bluegrass bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Bluegrass Bashing subscribers. 

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

 Dirty Dozen-Obama’s Model Mosque

 Published on May 13, 2015 Obama touts the Islamic Society of Boston as a model for his Countering Violent Extremism program. Then why are there at least 12 jihadists associated with it?

 (Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend PFC Karl Kadon [1,417 Friends, 65 Mutual Friends, including and Judge Brad Greenberg and Judge Melissa Powers]

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here