Daily Archives: December 13, 2012

Special “Cliff Jumping” E-dition

One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

…Would You Jump Off Too?

  • image004DID BOEHNER BLINK YET? Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Obama is predicting GOP House Speaker John Boehner will be the one to cave on the Taxmageddon/ Fiscal Cliff Crisis. Wouldn’t that cost Boehner his Speaker’s job? Ironically, 16-Dysfunctional DemocRAT Senators who voted for ObamaCare are now disparaging their own “Job-Killing” ObamaCare Tax. And Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen now says 73% think Obama’s Health Care Law is likely to cost more than projected. That means all those dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama voters will be just as screwed as the rest of us.

Of course “the majority” supports Obama’s “Fiscal Cliff” because they want the people, who work and support them, to pay their bills. Everyone should pay at some taxes so they feel what it’s like to support the out-of-control spending for tree frog studies, Appalachian “still” management, and work study programs in Outer Mongolia.

  • MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE Ray Bradbury’s “Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.”
  • HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says On this date in 2000, Al Gore actually finally conceded the presidential election following weeks of legal battles over the recounting of votes in Florida after the Supreme Court told called him a “Liberal Loser.” And wouldn’t it be funny if this week, the Supremes announced that they were overturning that decision?
  • COLLEGE DAZE: Under the U.S. Constitution and Amendments, the Electoral College is scheduled to rubber-stamp Obama as our next president on December 17. In the Constitutional Convention “most delegates doubted the capacity of the people to evaluate talented and capable leaders beyond the borders of their own states.” Were the Founding Fathers geniuses or what!
  • image009CONGRESSIONAL CONFUSION: While being interviewed by Former Fishwrapper Howard Wilkinson on WVXU, Ohio’s Second District Congressman-Elect Congressman-Elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup said he didn’t sign the over-taxed payers’ pledge because it was “too complicated.”
  • HERE’S THE PLEDGE: I promise to: ONE, oppose any and all efforts to increase the marginal income tax rates for individuals and/or businesses; and TWO, oppose any net reduction or elimination of deductions and credits, unless matched dollar for dollar by further reducing tax rates.

Whistleblower readers want to know, “What is so freaking complicated?” Memo to our Congressional Podiatrist– clipping an octogenarian’s toe nails might be complicated, but this pledge is “not complicated.”

And in a related story, The Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau, located in East Jesus, is still blaming Ohio Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Transition Team for failing to give people directions for those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights located in West Union.

  • RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: In today’s Racial Healing Message, “No Hope; No Change for the Blacks!,” our distinguished lecturer deals with the gullible ass blacks who again voted 90% for their DemocRAT slave masters.
  • IN COLUMBUS: Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders is wondering when Ohio Republican Governor Kasich will be pushing his Republicans at the Statehouse for Right to Work legislation like Michigan’s GOP Governor Snyder did. Maybe they’ll be talking about union busting at that 5-7PM holiday party/ fund-raiser on Saturday at the Governor’s Residence.
  • CH SNITCH 1000 MAIN STREET: Following last week’s vote by Republican Hamilton County Commissioners “Tax Hike” Hartmann and Chris Monzel for over-taxed payers of Hamilton County to give more of their hard-earned money to the “Millionaire Mike” Brown and his mismanagement team, Whistleblower Research Bureau Chief Fearless Ferret began checking out how much it’ll cost some of the key people involved. Even now, “Millionaire Mike” Brown will pay the lowest additional amount compared to the other members of his mis-management team. Fearless is now examining his list of the accused mis-managers and the current market value of their homes according to the website of Dusty “Egg on My Face” Rhodes AND the additional tax due as a result of the recent actions by the RINO Hamilton County Commissioners to repeal 1/2 of the Sales Tax Credit that was the “other” part of the stadia deal in 1996 should have been no surprise to most in the know.
  • image011JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: K-Mart announces a new shipment of Chabotheads has just arrived.

image013Meanwhile, there’s still a way for Obsessive Obama Supporters like Tom and Rose to show their love for our Obamessiah during the Christmas Season. That’s why this limited edition “Obama Village Idiot” ornament for only $28.99 plus God only knows how much for shipping and handling, will look so great on your Obamamas Tree, as Obama Supporters in the Press continue to promise their millions of gullible followers, it will still be just like “1,461 More Days of Christmas” during Obama’s second term. Proceeds will benefit Obama’s 2016 Third-Term Re-election Campaign.

  • WHISTLEBLOWER HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: This seems to be a pretty good gift for your favorite elected official.
  • REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES discuss the latest Tracy Winkler scandal in their new blog entry. Tracy and hubby, His Honor Judge Ralph “Ted” Winkler, recently vacationed with Vince and Deb Wallace. Upon return, Tracy hired Vince Wallace to a make-work position in the Clerk of Courts office paying $68k/year, while His Honor Ralph “Ted” hired Deb as his Court reporter. Deb had just retired from that position, so Ralph Ted’s decision to rehire her makes him fully responsible for another county double-dipper.

According to Republicans for Higher Taxes, it pays to be a Friend of Alex and Tracy (FAT). As Vince and Deb Wallace know, membership in the FAT Club has its benefits!

KWANZAA KLAUS says there seems to be a lot of crime near the UC Campus these days. They didn’t have this problem when Bob Huggins was coach. All the thugs were on his teams and off the streets.

  • image016NoKY NEWS: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says when he called the Adams County (Ohio) Travel and Visitors Bureau in Ohio, to get directions to those Amazing Amish Christmas Lights near Squirrel Town, it reminded him to tell readers that Rick “The Bat Boy” Robinson now has his pet squirrel “Nutsy” tastefully decorated for Christmas.

Rick, who invited our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwelalth Attorney E Rob Sanders to Graydon Head’s Holiday Party last month, says he can hardly wait for The Robster’s annual Christmas Party at Sidebar in Covington on December 21, especially since The Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) events are being combined.

  • MORE HOLIDAY MAGIC: Another Holiday Party Rick never misses is the Annual World Orgasm for Peace Day Orgy at the Fort Mitchell County Club, co-sponsored by Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell and the Northern Kentucky Cougars’ Association. That godless pagan event is on December 21, just in time for Druids to celebrate the Winter Solstice. Marvin the Mayan says he’d like to come too, because if the world does come to an end on December 21, he’d like to go out with a gang bang. Now let’s all watch “Getting into the Holiday Spirit with Eric and Nicole.”

image019Now for those of you planning to join Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane in attending TL-DCELPMOB-A-P-FT&SW-PRB-in-a-D’sover-taxed payer funded Christmas Party on December 21 at the Horseshoe Casino, let’s all sing the eighth verse of “Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by that Dishonest DemocRAT Former Speaker of the House Nutty Nancy Pelosi, who remembers in 2008, “Thanks to ‘Mean Jean’ (whose winning percentage was the smallest in the nation), Hamilton County turned “Blue,” DemocRATS won the entire state of Ohio, and Obama became president of our multicultural United States. It goes something like this:

On the Eighth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Eight Dems a Booing,
Seven Wits a Wagging,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.

It’s really beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, isn’t it, Portman

  • HANUKKAH HARRY says, “Let’s be honest, by the sixth night of Hanukkah, the magic can wear little thin.” So you want to try to stay focused during the prayers over the candle-lighting ceremonies, unlike in “Cat Ballou,” when drunken gun fighter Kid Shalien walked into a funeral and sang “Happy Birthday” to the man who got killed and blew out the candles.
  • FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders are asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way we keep finding out how much more ObamaCare is going to cost than anybody had ever imagined. “It really wouldn’t have mattered if people had known about it before the Election,” Kane explained. “The Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term in the Divided States of America has just begun and unfortunately, the voters aren’t through being stupid yet. It’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

Seediest Kids of All


The Butch LeDeux Story

image022Butch LaDeux was a very troubled 11-year-old second-grader who was not doing well in school, even by the Forrest Gump School District’s standards. The truth is, Butch is illiterate, and he always tries to cover up his feelings of inferiority by punching little kids in the stomach and stealing their lunch money.

So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) enrolled Butch at O’Brien’s Gym so he could channel his aggressive energy and Bungals Bar-Fighter Rey Maualuga taught Butch how to blindside his opponents.

Butch still beats up little kids for their lunch money, but instead of punching them in the stomach, he takes clean shots to the head and face as he goes after them because their parents had dared to put “Vote No” signs against the school levy in their front yards.

The LaDeux family is no longer on welfare, due to the substantial amount of money Butch now brings home every week. They’re grateful to the Seediest Kids of All, but it’s really you they have to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.

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Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our December fund-raising drive by the Scrooge and Marley’s Counting House.


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Some party-crashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally party-crashing subscribers.

Link of the Day

Evil Santa Claus

image027Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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