One of the best parts about publishing The Whistleblower Newswire is checking our e-mail first thing each morning to see some of those politically insightful items we’ve received from our equally politically insightful subscribers. Our readers’ comments are extremely helpful for our analysis and interpretation of today’s important top stories.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
A Country They Truly Deserve
- TYPICAL OBAMA VOTERS: During the past few weeks we’ve shown you some dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, uninformed, short-attention-span Obama voters who still haven’t figured out they’re already just as screwed as the rest of us. First, Shannon and her friend Jennifer hadn’t figured out they’d lost their jobs because of ObamaCare. Last week, typical union member Rankin Phyle, who voted for Obama so he could go on strike for higher wages and benefits, lost his job because the company went out of business, closed the plant, and all the other 18,500 Obama-loving union employees lost their jobs, too.
But things could be worse for Rankin and his buddies…they could live in Michigan, where the Michigan state legislature just approved legislation Tuesday removing the requirement that in order to work, even if you weren’t in a union, you had to pay union dues like Obama and the DemocRATS demand. Do you think Michigan Governor Rick Snyder will sign it? He’s a Republican.
Meanwhile on Tuesday, White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard again told the White House Press Corpse to ignore Taxmageddon on January 1, 2013 and tell all those gullible sheeple just to buy another Obama Christmas ornament to decorate their crappy Christmas trees and show their true devotion to the Messiah. Today’s “I Barack and Michelle” Ornament only costs $9.99, plus God-only-knows-how-much for shipping-and-handling, with proceeds benefitting Obama’s 2016 Third-Term Re-election Campaign.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 2000 the Supreme Court decided 5-4 that Florida Supreme Court’s scheme for recounting ballots was unconstitutional, making George W. Bush president of these United States. And wouldn’t it be funny if this week, the Supremes overturned that decision?
- NO WONDER OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE William Howard Taft’s “Presidents come and go, but the Supreme Court goes on forever.”
- THE WHISTLEBLOWER REPERTORY GROUP has a new member in its latest video showing the Whistleblower Elves in Congress when Santa isn’t watching. Can you guess his identity?
In a related story, The Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau, located in East Jesus, is still getting complaints because Ohio Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Transition Team failed to give people directions for those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights located near suburban Seamen, no matter how you’re supposed to spell it.
- HANUKKAH HARRY SAYS you should make the fifth night of Hanukkah a chance to reflect on how rich your lives are. The previous nights of this Jewish holiday brought bountiful food, love, and family tradition. Celebrate Hanukkah by sharing these blessings with other, less fortunate people. Do a “mitzvah,” or good deed. Charity and community service can be part of your Hanukkah celebration.
- CH SNITCH 1000 MAIN STREET: Following last week’s vote byRepublican Hamilton County Commissioners “Tax Hike” Hartmann and Chris Monzel for over-taxed payers of Hamilton County to give more of their hard-earned money to the “Millionaire Mike” Brown and his mismanagement team, those same over-taxed payers will finally see a forced contribution from the various members of the Bungals mis-management team when the sales tax credit on their personal homes is reduced. Whistleblower Research Bureau Chief Fearless Ferret is already checking out how much it’ll cost each of the players.
- DOWN AT CITY HALL: Vice Mayor Foxy Roxy Qualls just found herself 15,000 voters when she runs for Cincinnati Mayor next year by opposing City Mangler Dough Boy Honey’s plan to end income tax reciprocity for 15,000 city residents who work outside the city. Cincinnati residents now pay any income tax charged by the city where they work, and Cincinnati gives them that much credit toward the 2.1% charged by the City of Cincinnati. City Manager Milton Dohoney wants to eliminate that reciprocity credit to generate almost $4.8 million toward the $34 million deficit.
- IN CLERMONT COUNTY: Hate-Speakers at the DemocRAT Underground have a new poll asking their readers to vote for the biggest moron in the Republican. At press time, “Mean Jean” Schmidt was on the list, even though GOP voters booted her wrinkly, lame-duck ass out of office in that primary last March, had no votes. Maybe some of her Tea Party Pals would like to help her out while there’s still a little time left.
Now for those of you planning to join Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane in attending TL-DCELPMOB-A-P-FT&SW-PRB-in-a-D’s over-taxed payer funded Christmas Party next Friday at the Horseshoe Casino, let’s all sing the seventh verse of “Lame-Duck, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-and-paid-For, Tax-and-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by producers at “Saturday Night Live,” whose hilarious news parody made Ohio’s Second District Congresswoman a laughingstock all across this great nation when Rachel Dratch played “Mean Jean.” It goes something like this:
On the Seventh Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
Seven Wits a Wagging,
Six Crooked Cronies,
Five Libelous Liars,
Four Screeching Tires,
Three Borgman Cartoons,
Two Red Dresses,
And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.
Kind of warms the cockles of your heart, doesn’t it, Portman!
Now here’s an update on that Company Christmas Party you’ve been reading about in The Blower.
What a diverse group we are! Isn’t it great that we’ve already celebrated Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours? That would’ve put a serious damper on our party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year may not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps Luigi’s can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – the days are so short this time of year – or else package everything for take home in little foil swans. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men; each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table. No cross-dressing allowed though, for the person asking permission to cross dress. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure problems to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts.
Did I miss anything?
- IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo reports Ludlow City Administrator “Blackjack Brian” Richmond says he spent all weekend putting up Christmas lights on his house, but The Blower thinks he should’ve asked for a little help.
Brian, who used to work for our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwel=alth Attorney E Rob Sanders, says he can hardly wait for The Robster’s annual Christmas Party at Sidebar in Covington on December 21, especially since The Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club) events are being combined.
Another party Brian never misses is the Annual World Orgasm for Peace Day Orgy at the Fort Mitchell County Club, co-sponsored by Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell and the Northern Kentucky Cougars’ Association. That godless pagan event is on December 21, just in time for Druids to celebrate the Winter Solstice. Marvin the Mayan says he’d like to come too, depending on what time the world comes to an end on December 21.
- FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATVE AGENDA, Political Insiders once again were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if there was any way to avoid the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term in the Divided States of America. “There’s only one chance,” Kane repeated. “That’s if some the Electors from Virginia, Ohio, and a couple of other states decided to vote for Romney when the Electoral College meets on December 17.” Think how long they could argue about that on the TV cable news shows.