Sunday, July 15, 2012
The Blower’s Week in Review
- OUR NUMBER ONE STORY THIS WEEK was on Wednesday, when everybody was watching C-Span to see the symbolic ObamaTax Repeal vote that John Boehner and his House Republicans had scheduled. That way, Disingenuous DemocRATS’ names are now on the scorecard, and the GOP can run ads about their votes every day until the 2012 Elections in November.
- OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was when Caucasian American Mitt Romney spoke to the Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored People Convention in Houston and got booed by black bigots when he didn’t pander and said he’d overturn ObamaCare.
Then every Black Race Baiter in America called a press conference as Liberal Pundits and Obama Supporters in the Press couldn’t stop calling Romney a Racist. PMSNBC claimed Romney’s speech was part of his “Southern Strategy” to appeal to “Racist Voters.” Nutty Nancy Pelosi even claimed Mitt Romney went there just to get booed. Imagine what would’ve happened if Romney announced he planned to indict Obama’s Arrogant Black Attorney General Eric Holder on his first day in office.
Obama’s $172,000 White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard said Obama didn’t have to waste time talking to the NAALCP, since he expected to get 99% of the black vote, along with everybody else who wanted to get more free stuff from the government, so Joe Biden spoke to an almost empty auditorium at the NAALCP Convention on Thursday. Organizers were blaming the lack of attendance on the rain or on free ribs and watermelon down the street.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE STORY THIS WEEK was In Washington, when our DC Newsbreaker said just about everybody was upset to learn Obama Donor Ralph Lauren had outsourced the manufacturing of those really gay looking U.S. Olympians’ uniforms were being made in China.
Distraught DemocRAT Harry Reid, who had also received contributions from Ralph Lauren, said, “I think the Olympic Committee should be ashamed of themselves. I think they should be embarrassed. I think they should take all the uniforms and put them in a big pile and burn them and start all over again. If they have to wear nothing but a singlet saying ‘USA’ on it painted by hand, that’s what they should do.”
Hey, Harry—what in the hell is a “singlet?”
- MONDAY in our Special “Diabolical Disclaimers” E-dition, The Blower said “Publishing The Blower means never having to say you’re sorry!” Somebody was actually shocked after one of our snitches had not told us the unvarnished truth, so we had to explain how The Blower works.
Because unlike newspaper blogs, which pretend to care about maintaining a dose of civility, The Whistleblower might still contain unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, vulgar, pornographic, profane, or even indecent information.
Sometimes The Blower uses racial and ethnic slurs to show that bigotry of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a total retard.
Sometimes The Blower uses gay bashing to show that intolerance of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a real flamer.
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of dead people to show that necrophilia in public is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a stiff.
Sometimes The Blower questions a person’s motives to show that dishonesty of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t an elected official.
And sometimes The Blower even borrows a phrase to show that plagiarism of any kind is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t on the Idiotorial Board at the Morning Fishwrap.
- TUESDAY in our Official “All Star Game” E-dition, The Blower remembered In 1957, when Reds fans spammed seven players to the starting team and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
If Disingenuous DemocRATS think the Obama All Stars had just another bad week leading up to the All Star Break,” think how bad it’ll be for the next only “118” more days until the 2012 Presidential Elections. —Political Scorekeepers
The presidential didn’t really call his Individual Mandate a “Tax” when he spoke to that silly little blonde TV reporter from Channel 5 in Cincinnati. —Obama’s $172,000 Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard
Make a $3 donation and you’ll automatically be entered in a lottery to win a free cup of coffee with me. —Joe Biden
Should we really vote for Obama just because he says he “tried real hard” to make things better? —Dumbed-down Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Short-Attention-Span Americans
No wonder two-thirds of likely voters say Obama has kept his 2008 campaign promise to change America, but it’s changed for the worse. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Political Pastime” E-dition, The Blower was for “Inside Baseball Players Only”:
Tuesday night at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were watching that Big Political Baseball Game on TV, just to see how many of those players on Team Obama got to play, and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane explained, “These days, the campaign reminds you of what happened in the 2010 Elections, when Obama came to bat.”
It’s a good thing that MLB All Star Game wasn’t on Channel 5 (for Time Warner and Insight customers).
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Political Theatre” E-dition, The Blower wondered where they find all those bad actors:
You just can’t let a lie stand, or people are going to believe it.
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose C.H. Spurgeon’s “A lie is halfway round the world before the truth has got its boots on.”
Sure enough, Romney finally referred to Obama as America’s “Outsourcer-in-Chief.” But we’re still waiting for a Romney spokesman to call Obama a ‘no good lying bastard’ on TV.”
- FRIDAY in our Just Another “Friday the Thirteenth” E-dition, The Blower advised you to just say no to Friggatriskaidekaphobia:
Our Garrulous Grammarian said the first thing we needed to do was to explain the difference between “Triskaidekaphobia” and “Paraskevidekatriaphobia”
Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number thirteen. It comes from “treiskaideka,” the Greek word for thirteen plus “phobia,” which means “fear of,” so Triskaidekaphobia would be “a fear of thirteen.”
Paraskevidekatriaphobia is the Fear of Friday the 13th. The word “paraskevidekatriaphobia” was devised by Dr. Donald Dossey, who told his patients that “when you learn to pronounce it, you’re cured!”
- SATURDAY in our Official “Bastille Day” E-dition, The Blower asked, Does anybody know the rest of “The French, they are a funny race…”
Hurley the Historian said on this date in 1789, people in France got a holiday when revolutionaries stormed the Bastille, and since our French boycott is no longer still in effect for all patriotic Americans, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo will once again be joining Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl at what used to be one of Camboo’s pre-boycott favorite fine-dining establishments in Northern Kentucky, Chez Bastille, located at 3000 Decker Crane Lane in Covington, Kentucky. The food was so good, it wasn’t surprising Chez Bastille was so hard to get into. And folks who used to eat there all the time say, “Once you were there, you probably would’ve found it even more difficult to leave.”
Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose “I went to a fancy French restaurant called ‘Deja Vu.’ The headwaiter said, ‘Don’t I know you?’” The Blower really liked George Carlin’s, “The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
- OBAMA 2012: Obsessive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose say on Friday, Obama re-election Campaigners at the White House were spam-gramming their local e-mail list, trying to get people to show up downtown on Monday at Music Hall for just another Obama campaign appearance. Tickets to the event were free, as long as you could afford gas to drive to one of those conveniently located Obama Campaign offices in Cheviot, Walnut Hills, or Forest Park to pick them up.
- ROMNEY 2012: Real Republicans are wondering if the Romney campaign would allow Obama’s Campaign Event in Cincinnati go unchallenged, remembering how last week in Northern Ohio, Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign featured Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty aboard the Romney bus in Maumee, Parma, and the Mahoning Valley, one step ahead of Obama, whose own “Betting on America” bus tour was scheduled to hit those same three areas.
- OHIO RINO PARTY: In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chef Gerry Manders says the Cuyahoga County elections board disagrees on extending early voting hours. The two DemocRATS on the board want to allow voting on the last two Saturdays and Sundays in October, while the two Republicans say weekday hours are sufficient. How do you imagine the Republican Secretary of State would break that tie vote?
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says one thing most voters continue to agree on as the country searches for solutions to the federal budget crisis, is spending cuts should be considered in every program of the federal government.
- OUR LATE NIGHT JOKEWATCHER liked Politico’s video of some of this week’s best late night political jokes.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this on this day in 1979, President Jimmy Carter addressed the nation on live TV to discuss the nation’s crisis in confidence and accompanying recession, and everybody’s wondering if Obama will be doing the same thing at his campaign stop in Cincinnati tomorrow.
- OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE: chose H.L. Mencken’s, “A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.”
- VOTER FRAUD UPDATE: In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says Ohio Republican Secretary of State Jon Husted got slapped down after a federal court judge rejected Husted’s arguments to toss the federal-court agreement governing rules for counting Ohio’s provisional ballots.
- THUGS ‘R US: Fox News reports teachers across the country face pay freezes and possible layoffs, but the heads of the two biggest teachers unions saw their pay jump 20 percent last year, to nearly half a million dollars apiece.
- HAMILTON COUNTY RINO PARTY: This week Alex T., Mall Cop GOP was recruiting for Romney’s “Rapid Response Regiment,” because every battle-ready team must be able to respond quickly to a changing environment. Isn’t it nice that the Obama campaign is offering them an opportunity to respond rapidly before tomorrow’s Obama campaign event at Music Hall?
- AND FOR THIS WEEK’S PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: Just what was Alex T. thinking Saturday when Vice Presidential Wannabe Rob “Fighting for Face Time” Portman spoke at the Opening of the Romney Victory Center in Kenwood.
- MEDIA MENDACITY: Noel Sheppard at Newsbusters says we media analysts see, hear, and read a lot of stupid comments from press members every day. For me, the howler of the week has to be PMSNBC political analyst Ron Reagan Jr. saying about President Obama on Friday’s Hardball, “The media is not giving him enough credit.”
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #204, says you should quote Joe Biden: “Look, [John's McCain's] last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.”
- DELUSIONAL DEMOCRATS: Ditzy DemocRAT National Committee Chairman Debbie Wasserman Schultz relentlessly attacks Romney for investing in Swiss Bank Accounts, records show she invested in Swiss Banks, foreign drug companies, and the state bank of India. As Weasel Zippers would say, “She really is a dumbass.”
- REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES: applaud Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex TryinToFoolYou’s DemocRAT Butt Boy Ashwin Corattiyil’s promotion to become Hamilton County RINO Party Executive Director. You can’t get much more bipartisan than that.
- MORE FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERY: Can anybody imagine what Steve Chabothead’s 2012 endorsement interview with the iditorial board will be like after he cut funds for our Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory’s Cincinnati’s Trolley Folly?
- RACIAL HEALING UPDATE: Last week, Race Baiters in Congress and the Press could hardly contain themselves when Mitt Romney got booed at the NAALCP Convention. But did you notice how quickly it stopped when Drudge published the rumor that Condoleezza Rice Rica was Romney’s secret pick for VP?
- LEGAL BRIEFS: Word is there are still more terminations at Cincinnati Legal. How else will $tan and Joe get any share of the profits?
- HOW ABOUT DEM REDS: Typical Reds’ Rooter Farley Fairweather couldn’t stop cheering after Dusty’s Boys wound up in a first place tie after Friday night’s game.
- THE CINCINNATI MESS (You’ll only read about in The Blower): Down at the City Hall Circus, Girly Mayor Mark Mallory is still having a hissy fit over Steve Chabothead’s successful amendment to bar federal Trolley Folly funding. Mallory claims he’s now using his “contacts in Washington” to get that wasteful spending back on track. Do you think that’s the real reason Obama is coming to Cincinnati on Monday?
- CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET: says don’t forget six years ago this week when Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s won his landmark hearing at the Hamilton County Board of Revulsion after the Disingenuous DemocRAT County Auditor’s “certifiable” appraiser got caught trying to justify the Auditor’s bogus 41% computer-generated appraisal. It was our Disingenuous DemocRAT’s Disastrous Debacle, but our local Kneepad Liberals in the Press still don’t give a big rat’s ass about victims of drive-by reappraisals, or victims of drive-by shootings for that matter.
- IN ANDERSON: Is Kuhl’s Hot Sport Spot really printing these T-Shirts to sell in front of the Anderson Government Center and at Anderson Days? Did Bob Kuhl really print 500 shirts to handle the current orders?
- SOREHEADS IN THE SUBURBS: wonder when The Blower plans to show pictures of the penis lineup where Kevin was identified.
- OHIO’S SECOND CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT: Buzzfeed reports that a “shared IP address at the Capitol” was used to remove the section regarding the Armenian Genocide Section from “Junketing Jean” Schmidt’s Wikipedia page. Yeah, right! The Blower’s sure another somebody in another Congressional office tried to clean up her sordid reputation.
- CLERMONT CRONIES: What does it mean when the Chairman of the Clermont Cronies has to write a column in the Community Press begging for money to help keep the lights on at party headquarters? Perhaps Tim Rudd should ask the Tea Party Patriots running the Clermont GOP to fill the void left by all the contentious primaries that threw out the incumbent officeholders and drove away the party’s key benefactors.
- READING THE TEA LEAVES: Our Friends at the Anderson Tea Party are Anderson Tea Party ask if you really want to make a difference in this year’s elections, or are you just going to sit on your fat apathy yelling at the TV. Maybe you ought to show up at 7 PM on Tuesday at the Anderson Center Community Room and get involved.
- NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Summer is well under way and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Seeing is Believing
It’s time to grab the bathing suit
To have a refreshing swim.
And check to see if all the girls
Have got their bikini trim.
- THIS WEEK IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo has finally figured out what all those loser politicians in Northern Kentucky are doing these days— they’re all writing books. Ever since Rick Robinson got his clock cleaned by Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams in a GOP Congressional primary before the turn of century, “BeanBall Jim” Bunning’s “Batboy” has been churning our erotic political novels. After his undistinguished career as Kenton County GOP Chairman, Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters wrote books that couldn’t stop sucking up to WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham. And now our DemocRAT Dominatrix Kathy Groob, who founded has “Elect Women” magazine following her political career, has now written “Pink Politics, the Woman’s Practical Guide to Winning Elections.” Another Bluegrass Publisher Larry Flynt says, “No fair, I called ‘pink’ first.”
- THIS WEEK AT A MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about Obama’s announced visit to Cincinnati on Monday. “Remember last September when Obama came here, supposedly pushing for “shovel ready jobs” with the Brent Spence Bridge in the background?” Kane asked. “How’s that big construction job coming anyway? Anyone see a surveyor on the banks of the Ohio or any workers digging piers, or any Chinese steel working making supports.”
- AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”: The Blower’s Campaign Countdowns to will continue. Speaking of which, the 2012 Elections are only “113” days away.
Monday Obama will be jetting into Cincinnati on Air Force for just another campaign event, and maybe somebody should be asking how much this if costing We, the Over-Taxed Payers.
Tuesday is “Peach Ice Cream Day,” and UDF has a carton with your name on it.
Wednesday is “National Caviar Day,” so you can be sure something fishy is will be going on.
Thursday is “National Raspberry Cake Day,” and it’s just like Ben DFover and Phil McKrevis always say, “If you bake them in a cake, you can have your fruit and eat it, too!”
The first line of next Friday’s limerick is: “More Victory Centers were opened this week” and some of you limerick writers might like to take a whack at that.
And Saturday is “Junk Food Day,” when you can eat anything you want as much as you want. But if you have a heart attack, don’t blame us.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political scorekeeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political scorekeeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.