Monday, June 11, 2012
Proud to Be An American
Please forgive our gloating this morning, but something very special just arrived in the mail, and we can’t help feeling just a little proud and patriotic. We knew it had to be official, because inside the envelope was a letter was signed by Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus himself. No kidding!
Hurley the Historian says he felt almost as patriotic as he did on this date in 1979, when John Wayne died. Our Quote for Today Committee chose The Duke’s “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway,” but the one The Blower likes best is “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” Because with only “147” more days till the 2012 Elections on November 6, the our new best friend Reince said we were among a select group of citizens who’d been especially chosen to take part in an official survey by a major political party.
It wasn’t just any old Robocall survey, because after compiling and modeling demographic information for the thousands of activists in the RNC database, we had been selected to represent voters in our area in the “Official 2012 Presidential Platform Survey.” It had been assigned and prepared especially for us, so we could represent the views and opinions of all the people living in our voting district. The official document even had an official registration number and a survey tracking number. It’s hard to get much more official than that.
Our immediate action was required and our answers to all the questions on the survey were vital, because they’d be used by a major political party to stop the creeping socialism, massive accumulation of federal debt, and economic stagnation that Obama’s policies have wrought upon our nation.
Because without our answers, the Party’s leaders would never know how real Americans just like us at the grassroots level really feel about the critical issues we wanted to see at the forefront of our candidate’s campaign platform and at the top of our elected leaders’ agenda.
And without our answers, the Party couldn’t fully develop a campaign plan to organize and energize ordinary Americans, so they would get out and vote.
You can’t imagine humble it made us feel to know that the future of a major political party, and the conservative movement, and our national all depended on our answers of the RNC’s 2012 Presidential Platform Survey to make sure Obama was a one-term president.
Reince wanted to know if supported a fell repeal of the ObamaCare healthcare legislation that Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid passed without revealing its full details, ever-rising costs, and negative effects on quality, access, and affordability.
Reince wanted to know if we agreed with Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS that higher tax rates and more federal spending are the keys to spurring economic growth.
Reince wanted to know if we believed Obama has done enough to strengthen and improve border security.
And if that wasn’t enough, Reince also wanted to know if we supported expanding offshore drilling and increasing exploration for domestic oil and gas reserves to lessen our dependence on imported fuels.
Reince thanked us for our continued support and said if we mailed back our completed survey in a special envelope stamped “2012 PRESIDENTIAL PLATFORM SURVEY” in Capital Letters, we’d really be helping the country out if we also paid the return postage ourselves.
Along with the completed survey, the Party would also be happy to receive our patriotic contribution of $35, $50, $70, $100, $240 or even $500 to help the National Republican Leadership take on the liberal Obama DemocRATS and expand on the victories Republicans had achieved in 2010 by taking back the White House and electing more Republicans at all levels of government.
And if that doesn’t make you feel proud and patriotic, we don’t know what would. Unless by the remotest of chances, the RNC really didn’t care what you thought and mailing us that “Official 2012 Presidential Platform Survey” was just another political fund-raising scam.
2012 REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL PLATFORM SURVEY HOT LINE
e-mail your meaningless opinions today
Some political fund-raising items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political fund-raising subscribers, but we could always use more.