TODAY’S SEEDIEST KID OF ALL is Young Poochy Barker, who couldn’t have a puppy because his dad was afraid if he couldn’t pay the outrageous Hamilton County’s dog license fees on time, and Disingenuous DemocRAT would make sure the Barker name was published in the newspaper and the entire family would be too ashamed to show their faces in public.
So the Seediest Kids of All (not affiliated with the Failed United Way Campaign) sent over a digital dog. It sits up and speaks and craps on the rug just like a real dog. It even humps grandma’s leg. Noted businessman-socialite-indicted felon-tax scofflaw Roger Ach invited Young Poochy to his Christmas party so he could meet other contemptuous law violators who didn’t like paying higher dog license fees, or any other taxes for that matter. “Never worry about paying for stuff like that,” Roger advised Young Poochy. “What can they do to you, foreclose on your damn house? And even if they do, you can always get some rich sucker like Carl Lindner to buy it and let you live there for free, at least until his sons find out and make him kick your sorry ass out on the street.”
The entire Barker family is grateful to the Seediest Kids of All, but it’s really you they have to thank, since it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.