Tag Archives: STEVEN COLBERT

Special “Weekend Wrap-up” E-dition

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2017

More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: On this date in 1991, following a bitter confirmation hearing, the U.S. Senate voted 52 to 48 to confirm Clarence Thomas to the U.S. Supreme Court. Fat chance you’d see another Conservative on the Supreme Court with an Obama Administration or a Dishonest DemocRAT majority in the Senate.

Coincidentally, Whistleblower 2014 Fall Interns Josie, Zach, Bryan, and Mitchell say 23 years ago, when The Whistleblower used to be printed and delivered all over town, in Issue # 72 published on October 15, 1991 Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane wrote “The Mugging of Clarence Thomas,” which looks just as good today as the day it was first written.

THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE CHOSE Clarence Thomas’ “I don’t believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights, not group rights.” 

BREAKING NEWS: The Chicago Police Dept has replaced all sirens on their cars with the National Anthem, to force suspects to stop running and take a knee. Arrests are up 110%.

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says 67% of Americans Oppose Tax Breaks for NFL Teams. 

It’s Getting Closer To Election Day, And We Have Another Timely Poem From Bunky Tadwell, The Bard Of Cleves: 

         Trolley Folly Update
          The streetcar project stumbles on
          With the cost forever rising.
          Understanding how council thinks
          That fact is not surprising.

IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Illegal Briefs” last week, Scandal reared its ugly head in Patronage County last week. Remember when Genius Maddchild was bludgeoned to death last year when he tried to dislodge Commissioner Swindle’s sticky fingers from the public coffers? This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on July 20, 1983.

THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says this week most of our late-night comedians were back at their Trump bashing.

JIMMY FALLON SAID: A big story right now is this Vanity Fair article about the White House. They say that Trump’s becoming unhinged, and that he recently shouted, “I hate everyone in the White House!” But later, he clarified his remarks, saying, “Except for me. I still like me a lot.” 

JAMES CORDEN SAID: An explosive new article about the White House in Vanity Fair magazine says according to staffers, Donald Trump is actually moodier and more erratic every day, and recently confided in one White House aide, “I hate everyone in the White House. There are a few exceptions but I hate them.” Is this guy the president of the United States or a cast member on “Big Brother?”

JIMMY KIMMEL SAID: Trump’s chief of staff, Gen. John Kelly, had a rare press conference — I think it may have been his first press conference as chief of staff — to announce reports of his demise have been bigly exaggerated [clip of Kelly]: “I’m not getting fired.” So you know what that means, right? He’s fired!

SETH MEYERS SAID: During the press briefing today, John Kelly said that President Trump’s tweets don’t make his job more difficult. Really? Because they’re making mine impossible. Do you have any idea what I would give to be making a Hillary Clinton pantsuit joke right now?

AND STEVEN COLBERT SAID: For the last 24 hours, Donald Trump has been the president of busy town. This morning, he signed an executive order to get rid of some key provisions of Obamacare. For instance, the care part.

OBVIOUSLY, WE’RE STILL HEARING TOO MUCH LEFT-WING HATE SPEECH COMING FROM OUR SO-CALLED LATE NIGHT COMEDIANS

MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER SAYS Kimber Fender, director of the Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County and the library’s  seven member board of lazy rich dilettantes are finally having a little day light shone on them.  And, boy, were they surprised.  About time!

Kimber and her merry band of yes-yes trustees were planning on a quick cheap insider sale of half of the downtown main library to real estate developers.  Citizens have intervened, vigorously opposing this proposed sneaky sale of a public institution.

The latest trustee meeting was held last Tuesday morning.  Members of the public were not allowed to enter via the same easy access door as the trustees, instead having to walk around the building.  Four security guards and a police officer guarded the moneyed trustees.

Trustee Bill Moran’s son, through a company stupidly called Orange Boy, for a high fee, recently appraised the targeted library building as only being worth five million dollars, although it was built in 1995 at a cost of forty million dollars.  Bill Moran, Jr. has ties to the real estate developer 3CDC.  Anyone see a connection here?

During Tuesday’s trustee meeting, gristled turkey vulture trustee Elizabeth Lamacchia, another Indian Hill (7800 Deer Crossing) arrogant resident, exploded at the public meeting, shouting at the public who were present, “Why do you think you have a right to speak to us?  Why should we listen to you at all?”

We’ve been telling you about the arrogance of Kimber Fender and her trustees since 2011.  You will be hearing more.

THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
                  Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.

SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #295 is to quote P. J. O’Rourke: “The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.”

JOHN GALT says, “The symbol of all relationships among such men, the moral symbol of respect for human beings, is the trade…A trader is a man who earns what he gets and does not give or take the undeserved.” 

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says this week, the House passed legislation to spend $36.5 billion for further recovery efforts related to the recent hurricanes, largely mirroring the request made by President Trump. The Senate was out of session.

Next Week: The House will be on recess until October 23. The Senate will vote on the hurricane relief funding bill the House passed this week and then consider its fiscal year 2018 (FY-18) budget resolution, a prerequisite to passing tax reform legislation later this year.

THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, like the scrounges who go on Craigslist.  

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, And Planned To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Crooked Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap, and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why The Blower is just recently getting around to all that great Hollywood Hypocrite Harvey Weinstein material. “For sure we would’ve been on that story earlier,” Kane explained, “if all that sexual perversion was going on in any of the local TV news rooms or at the Hamilton County Courthouse.”

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially the “DemocRAT Dead End Kids, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.

Whistleblower Guest Column and Election Letter Policy

Here are The Blower’s guidelines for elections-related guest columns and letters to the editor. Columns must be no more than 100 words, but letters may be up to 57 words. All letters and columns are subject to extreme editing. Columns must include a color nude photo (jpg format) and a complete background check of the author. For levies and ballot issues, we will run one column opposed to the issue and one column against. Columns should be from official anti-levy groups.  

AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”

MONDAY (OCTOBER 16) The Blower will be featuring our “More Media Bias” E-dition, or as we say at The Blower, “Just Another Monday.”

TUESDAY (OCTOBER 17) we’ll be wondering if we can ever find a way to celebrate “National Sarcasm Month,” and “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be sure to give you some ideas on that.

WEDNESDAY (OCTOBER 18) The Blower will try to find out what happened to Forest Hills School District Treasurer Rick Toepfer and Amorous Administrative Assistant “Insatiable Beth” Brulport, who had been accused of “sending explicit sexual messages to each other during school hours using school accounts and devices.”

THURSDAY (OCTOBER 19) we’ll find out if CityBeat’s Jim McNair has a follow-up on his expose about that $56,723 bill county over-taxed payers are stuck with from the Columbus law firm defending actions by Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Leslie Ghiz to regulate news coverage of the second Ray Tensing murder trial. (READ MORE ABOUT THAT HERE)

THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (OCTOBER 20) Limerick is “Is Journalism already dead?

AND SATURDAY (OCTOBER 21) we’ll still be wondering if we can ever find a way to celebrate “National Sarcasm Month.”

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.

WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO
Remembering What Is Was Like Before The NFL Became Corrupted By Liberal Political Correctness

 

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