Tag Archives: “Night Before Christmas” Poem Parody

Special “Sunday Sermon” E-dition (Praying For Parodies)


This Sunday in America…at the Church of The Compassionate Conservative, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, once again the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane was asking his Political Parishioners to Pray for Parodies, especially after somebody reminded him to run The Blower’s first “T’was The Night Before Christmas” Poem Parody.                          

image004T’was a month before Christmas

When all through our land,

Not a Christian was praying

Nor taking a stand.


Why the PC Police had taken away

The reason for Christmas – no one could say.

The children were told by their schools not to sing

About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.


It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say

image005December 25th is just a “Holiday”

Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks, and credit

Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!


CD’s from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-Pod

Something was changing, something quite odd!

Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa

In hopes to sell books by Fran-ken and Fonda


As Targets were hanging their trees upside down

image006At Lowe’s the word Christmas – was nowhere to be found.

At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears

You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.


Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-is-ty

Are words that were used to intimidate me.

Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen

On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !


image007At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter

To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.

And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith

Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded


The reason for the season, stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate “Winter Break” under your “Dream Tree”

Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.

Choose your words carefully, choose what you say

Shout “MERRY CHRISTMAS,” Not “Happy Holidays!”