SUNDAY, MAY 6, 2018
We Won’t Endorse….
by Charles Foster Kane
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher
Before every election, The Whistleblower-Newswire is always deluged with calls, faxes, text messages, and e-mails asking which candidates and issues we plan to endorse. As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing which will be forever known as Buckeye Indecision 2018, our readers have every right to expect nothing less. But the fact that only two days before the Ohio Gubernatorial Primary Elections, after all of our penetrating reporting and scathing commentary, there can be any doubt about which candidates or issues we might cheer or jeer is further tribute to the astounding even-handedness of our always fair-and-balanced journalism.
But political scientists are puzzled: How can elected officials be caught lying, tell more lies the next day, and the press won’t even hold them accountable? But as Hillary says, “What different does it make, anyway,” after our Avaricious Attorney from COAST Chris Finney successful argued for a politician’s Right to Lie before the U.S. Supreme Court.
Unlike the so-called mainstream news media like our Feckless Fishwrappers, whose totally discredited political endorsements by their rubber-stamping idiotirial board and news coverage are so often interchangeable, The Whistleblower continues to present facts, opinions, viewpoints, and analyses on all sides of an issue. On rare occasions we even attempt to use humor or sarcastic satire to make a point. We trust our readers are intelligent enough to come to an informed decision.
And since we never accept advertising, and have no sponsors nor special interests to dictate their extreme prejudices, we wouldn’t insult the Persons of Consequence who are our subscribers by presuming they’re not bright enough and sufficiently critical to evaluate what we’ve presented, along with everything else they’ve seen, read, heard, and smelled so they can make up their own minds.
Let’s face it: Prostitutes in the Press and trash-talkers on the radio will take money to promote both sides of any contest or issue, whether they believe them or not. They’ll always ignore false claims in lying, last-minute desperate negative attack ads from despicable candidates, as long as those commercials are paid-for-in-advance. There’s no limit on how much money they’ll accept from anyone, all in the name of promoting “free” speech. We wouldn’t be surprised if Tuesday’s turnout would be a lot lower than our Kneepad Liberals in the Press are predicting.
Also try to remember what those Loony Libertarians always say: A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. People who don’t stand for something will fall for anything. No matter the outcome, you should never ever vote for a candidate you don’t really believe in.
Finally, The Blower predicts Tuesday’s turnout in Ohio could be pretty high if all those Dumbed-Down Black People voting to stay on the DemocRAT Plantation, Bernie Sanders Socialists looking for more FREE Stuff, Angry White People who can’t wait to stand in line to get into Donald Trump rallies, all of those illegal aliens seeking amnesty, and all of those people Delusional Ohio Governor John Kasich believes will show up at the polls in 2020 to support him for president.
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