Tag Archives: Feckless Fishwrappers

Special “Early Christmas Sales” E-dition

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2017

What a Difference a Year Makes
Things have really changed since this time in November 2016, when The Blower published Real E-Mails From Real Subscribers in our Special “Early Christmas Sales” E-dition and people were wondering how they were ever going to pay for everything they’d bought on Black Friday and Cyber Monday.  

HEADER-DEC 1 SALES

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2016       

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

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American Culture has really changed for the worse during the Age of Obama. Turning “Thanksgiving into Thanksgetting,” Obama-Sharpton Race Riots and Civil Disturbances, and the Retail Rampages on Black Friday are only three of the latest egregious examples.   —Conservative Culture Warriors

image018Did WLW Hate Radio Racist in Residence Bill Cunningham really say they call it “Black Friday” because it’s the biggest shoplifting day of the year? — Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Eric Holder, Revrum Lynchmob, Nate “Rhymes With Hate” Livingston, and SMLP Smithermouth

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Was it a record when Cunningham’s restaurants failed and were forced to close? —Racist Restaurateur Liz Rogers

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Remember when we had a hard time trying to choose which Liberal DemocRAT won when Members of the Congressional Black Caucus spoke on the House floor about the grand jury’s decision not to indict Officer Darren Wilson in the shooting death of Michael Brown. —Your “Liberals Tell the Stupidest Lies” Award

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And when we broadcast Oscar-winning actor Jamie Foxx calling Obama “our lord and savior” at the Soul Train Awards, that meant he was really the messiah, right? —Black Entertainment Television

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How about that time on Thanksgiving, we made it impossible for little children to donate food to those in need? —Atheists for Obama

image018Does anybody remember when we publicized the plight of those “young practitioners of democracy” who were arrested in Cincinnati using a righteous shooting of a black thug by a white police officer as their political pretense? —Feckless Fishwrappers

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Maybe I should’ve sent loud-mouth lawbreakers using an unrelated incident as an excuse to engage in criminal conduct like Elizabeth Cambron, Adlap Bommaraju, Hilliard Herring, Zachary Lucas, Brandon Geary, Cerissa Newbill, Robert Fairbanks and Rhonda Shaw to Ferguson to help clean up that city, instead of granting motions to remove their electronic monitoring devices. —Black DemocRAT Hamilton County Judge Ted Berry

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I knew we shouldn’t have let that guy who claimed to be a judge into the courthouse with his ID card.  —Sheriff Neal’s Deputies, Just Trying to Do Their Jobs 

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I would’ve kept those law-breaking rioters in the slammer for their orchestrated obstructions and thrown away the key. Judge Melissa had it right the first time. —Compassionate Conservative Tino DelGato

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You can’t believe how much crap those obese Americans were buying on “Black Friday (that really started on Halloween)” and “Small Business Saturday” using credit cards they’ll never ever be able to pay off. —Your Friends at Walmart

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And yesterday was “Cyber Monday,” because it’s the busiest day of the year for retail electronic commerce in the United States. —On-Line Over-spenders, Using their Newest Credit Cards

image018This year on Cyber Monday, we sent The Blower an invoice to renew its website. —Go Daddy

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Next Tuesday will be the 75th Anniversary of the Japanese sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, or as the Obama Administration likes to call it: “The Asian Spring.” —Hurley the Historian

image018Just like in 1941, it’s getting colder today, so look for a little nip in the air. —TV 9 Weather Buffoon Larry Handjob

image018We’re teaching our students who’ve not yet dropped out, that December 7 is “The Day That Will Live in Infirmity.” —Failed Cincinnati Public $chool$

image008image018We chose that immortal line from “Animal House” when John Belushi asked, Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!” —Your Quote for Today Committee

image018To show my diversity, every year on December 7, I always attack Pearl Schwartz. —The Anti-Semitic Samurai

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What better way for our Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our image012Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, to demonstrate their fanatical fervor than to purchase another Obama Christmas ornament this year. We all know Obama is Jesus Christ and the Savior of the DemocRAT Party. That’s why this limited edition “Last Supper” ornament is so spiritually uplifting. —Obama’s Legal Defense Fund

image018Hey, everybody: a new shipment of Chabotheads has just arrived. —K-Mart

image018Saturday night, I’m scheduled to turn on the Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County. —Ohio’s Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup

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This Christmas season, our students will once again be taking home leftover 2014 Turkey of the Year Christmas Tree Ornaments to their parents (featuring “Smiling Dallas” Jackson, Josh Gerth, and Andy Pappas), so we can show our appreciation for their parents’ passing our humongous $103 million Tax Hike Scam. —Forrest Gump School District

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At Anderson High School’s Class of ‘56 Reunion Dinner at Grove Park Grille on Thursday, classmates who’ll most likely enjoy the steak will be the ones with their own teeth. —Survivors of the Class of ‘56   

image018This year in the real spirit of Christmas, we’re planning the best Holiday Event ever. You get to get in for free, but you’ll still have to pay for your own food and drinks and drinks, now that a real conservative is running the show. —COAST’s new right-wing Chairman Brad Beckett  

image018Are you sure Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and all of the Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda didn’t get an invitation to my Christmas Party this year once again being sponsored by my daughter Emily’s husband’s family’s pizza place where I’ll be kicking off my long-awaited return to politics? —“Mean Jean” Schmidt

image015image018At least in that new “Snowball Fight Video,” where The Whistleblower and Newt teamed up against us local RINOs, they forgot to color my face “Blue.” —Alex T., Mall Cop GOP 

image018We chose Cincinnati for the first stop on our “2016 Thank You Tour” to thank old Blueface for all his support. —President-elect Trump and Vice President-elect Pence

image018The best way to celebrate “Giving Day” today is to send us money. —Other Non-Profit Companies Looking For A Hand Out

image017image018Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, it’s your liberal guilt giving throughout the year that makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All

image018We don’t think we get nearly enough credit. —United Appall People

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We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’ll be calling it our “Holiday Party.” —Patty Lewis, Human Resource Director

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This year our eight-day holiday won’t even begin until Christmas Eve. —Hanukkah Harry

image018And don’t forget there are only 28 mo’ shopliftin’ days till Kwanzaa! —Kwanzaa Klaus

image020image018This year we have a special authentic Christmas display with Jesus riding a dinosaur. —Answers in Genesis

image018During the holiday season, our Covington Bimbo Chorale will be singing, “Oh. Come, All Ye Unfaithful.” —Phyllis on Madison

image018On the night before Christmas, and all through the town, not a sign of Baby Jesus, should ever be found. —The Northern Kentucky ACLU

image022image018This year for Christmas, we’re not even giving all our Boondoggle County employees a lump of coal. —Judge Defective Once Moore

image018Don’t forget. You don’t have to be Druish to celebrate the Winter Solstice on December 21. —Dave the Druid

  • image024image018And when they are celebrating World Orgasm for Peace Day in 2016, can we still have our Fake Orgasms? —Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell  

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At the Annual Graydon Head Holiday Party at the Fort Mitchell Country Club Wednesday night they’ll be making Jews feel welcome, just like they’ve always done in Northern Kentucky since 2003. —Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson

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At least this year, since he is no longer with that prestigious law firm, Rick didn’t forget to use the “Bcc” feature on his e-mail invitations so everybody could figure out who else got invited. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

image026image018Do you think anybody would remember me at what used to be Rick’s party since I’ve been out of office for so long? — “BeanBall Jim” Bunning

image018Me too. —Goof Doofus

image018Maybe Rick could crash the party and take along plenty of books to sign. —Rick’s Publishers

image018That picture of “The Batboy” wearing his bowling team shirt on the covers of his books makes us feel right at home. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis   

image018Could The Blower please start a rumor about what higher office I’ll be running for so people will ask me about it Wednesday night? —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders

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We were really surprised when TEA Party Patriots flooded The Blower with ballots and we were named the 2014 Whistleblower Turkeys of the Year in Northern Kentucky. Matt Bevan, Who Was Humiliated When He Ran Against U.S. Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell In The Republican Primary, And Ditzy Democrat Alison Wondergams Grimes, Who Embarrassed Herself And Every Dishonest Democrat In Kentucky When She Couldn’t Even Admit She’d Voted For Obama In 2008 And 2012

image018The best part about our traditional Thanksgiving dinner at the station was when we grabbed Trish “The Dish’s” legs and Trish said, “Make a wish.”  —TV 19 Photographers

image018You guys can’t fool me. That’s another dirty joke, right? —TV 5’s Sheree Paolello

image017Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially #Ferguson Protesters in Cincinnati.

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  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer     

 image033Sometimes The Blower makes fun of people who publish their guest lists to show that making fun of those people who weren’t invited will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Northern Kentucky Author/ Attorney.  

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson. 

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HOLIDAY PARTY HOT LINE

e-mail your engraved invitations today.

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Some party crashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally party crashing subscribers

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WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Black Friday Fights at Walmart and Target 

image038Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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