Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
THURSDAY, MAY 17, 2018
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
— Tonight’s Top Story —
With all that interest in Saturday’s Royal Wedding, Political Insiders at this afternoon’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he had really been offered an honorary knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II when she and the Royal Family were in Kentucky twenty-three years ago this weekend, like it said in Edition #51 of the Whistleblower. “Of course,” Kane explained. “You know everything you read in The Blower is true.” Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us Prince Charles dubbing Kane thrice at the ceremony in Lexington.
— TONIGHT’S NEWSMAKERS —
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE
— Whistleblower NFL Boycott Countdown Continues —
— DELUSIONAL DEMOCRAT UPDATE —
Delusional D-RAT Debbie Wasserman Schultz characterized the NRA as “just shy of a terrorist organization” Tuesday in response to the contention of the group’s newly appointed president, Oliver North, that the Parkland students pushing stricter gun-control legislation are engaging in “civil terrorism.”
— Here’s An Idea For Ohio’s Campaign To Replace Delusional GOP Governor John Kasich —
— WHAT KIND OF MAN READS THE BLOWER? —
Would You Believe…One Who Takes A Selfie During His Colonoscopy
The Blower Is Still Waiting For Our Soros-Funded Boycott For Mocking David Hogg To Begin
Our Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin says:
“The Hamilton County Administration the heroin epidemic could raise your property taxes, costing $73 per $100,000 of assessed valuation, in addition to the $54 per $100,000 of the current levy. County leaders envision a three-year levy; that would allow it to expire at the same time as the current levy in 2021. A new levy after that would, in theory, combine the two.”
It’s increasingly clear that a “blue” county is a sick-and-dying county.
Will the last property owner to leave Hamilton County even bother to turn off the damn lights?
— Anderson Apocalypse Update —
School board meeting notice: meeting moved from Nagel to Mercer auditorium.
Once again, a Forest Hills school board meeting expecting a large crowd in only 39 more days gets moved to anywhere BUT the Anderson High School auditorium, traditional site for largely-attended events. Can’t let the public see first-hand the mess the board has made of that school with its “renovate to new” building program. Can’t allow the overtaxed-paying public to see how you’ve wasted their money. Can you school board?
Expect another super-secret “executive session” to hide negotiations on the district buying property with money it does not have.
What will be their method of funding? Maxing out credit cards? Running shell games at elementary recesses? High school bingo in the cafeteria at lunch? Human trafficking of students?
For real, we hear they may resort to private money. Loan sharks. Just what we need. More property and more vigorish.
They also might want to hide who they might be buying property from. (Hint: FOB – friend of the board)
The apocalypse is closer than anyone seems to want to admit. Indications are the district is nearing or already in financial trouble. Inner-city school boards do a better job than these guys have. An audit of the building fiasco might be needed to reveal the depth of the deception this board has resorted to. And the real trouble they are in. Expect the board to go to extremes to avoid answering for what they’ve done. Not the whole board. The FOT – friend of Turpin – Frooman, Smith, and Heis.
— Tonight’s Whistleblower Not-Faking News —
— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM OTHER SATIRICAL WEB SITES —
(Commenting On Today’s Top Stories)
Liawatha: “Trump Lies”
WASHINGTON DC (World News Bureau) – Tuesday at the Center for American Progress “2018 Ideas Conference,” Sen. Elizabeth Warren (RTRD-MA) accused President Donald Trump of lying.
TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
Since day one of his orange presidency, Drumpf has wasted no time putting his name on the hard-earned achievements of those before him and chalking those accomplishments up as his own personal successes. We saw this cheap political tactic wielded again this week as the U.S. moved its embassy to Jerusalem, stoking…
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— Tonight’s Top Three Whistleblower Political Posters —
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The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Completing Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 482. There Are Now Only 900 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2013.