THURSDAY, JANUARY 07, 2020
TRUMP’S 1448th DAY IN OFFICE
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
Today’s celebrity birthdays included three American icons: Millard Fillmore, 13th president of these United States; Paul Revere, the New England Patriot who rode through every Middlesex village and farm to warn that the British were coming; and of course, Our Very Own Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, Charles Foster Kane. —Hurley the Historian
Don’t forget my birthday next Wednesday. —Elvis
I’d be wondering if anybody will be wishing me Happy Birthday on my Facebook Page, if Facebook hadn’t cancelled my page because somebody claimed I was not a “real person.” —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
Folks who expected me to be endorsed by the Clermont County Republicans may have disappointed, but they congratulated me on my new career as a Dominatrix after they checked out my new web page. —“Mean Jean” Schmidt
We can hardly wait for The Blower to explain the real story about why “Mean Jean” wasn’t endorsed. —Clermont County Republicans
Is Cincinnati behind the times or what? We’re not even included on the list of shithole cities that have been controlled by D-RATS. —Cincinnati’s Diminutive D-RAT Mayor John Cranley
I can hardly wait to hear which losers Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP plans to endorse in the 2020 elections. —Former Hamilton County Demo Labor Party Boss Tim Burka
2-14! Are you sure Starvin’ Marvin isn’t still coaching The Bungals? —Trouble-making Tailgater Tino Delgato
I thought for sure The Blower would have something to say about this week’s Fiesta Bowl debacle. —Urban Meyer, Seen Praying From The Sidelines
Please tell your Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Happy Birthday, since we’ll be mailing his re-estate tax bill next Tuesday. —Hamilton County Treasurer Robert A. Goering
This is the year Forest Hills School District home-owners can get ready to pay hiked up property taxes because dumbed-down voters were too damn lazy to look up their property taxes and see how much school taxes they were already paying.. —The Anderson Apocalypse
Wait till your Beloved Publisher sees how we jacked up his tax bill. We’ll just call it a “birthday” present. —Your Disingenuous Double-Dipping Democrat Auditor Who Was Also Permitted to Run Unopposed
The reason The Blower doesn’t have much Northern Kentucky News this morning must be because everybody’s out buying presents for Miss Vicki’s Birthday next WEEK. —Alison Wondergams Grimes
Please thank Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception for including us in last year’s rendition of Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s Party After the After Party. —Howard Wilkinson, Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin, Ohio GOP Governor John Kasich, Lady Ga Ga, Roseanne Barr, President of Iran, Mayor Mallory, Trish “the Dish,” Mitt Romney, Hillary, “JayWalking Joe” Deters, Foxy Roxy, Vladimir Putin, “Millionaire Mike” Brown, Obama’s Mooch, the Birthday Boy, Whoopi Cushion, Sarah Baby, and Bill Springerinham
Clowns to the left of you, Jokers to the right, here we are, Stuck in the middle with you. —Long-time Whistleblower Persons of Consequence
How cold is it supposed to get this week? —TV 19’s “Trish the Dish”
I used to always ask how warm it was when I wore my winter wig. —Jack Atherton
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially RINOs in Congress.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer—
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Celebrity Birthdays to show that always all that obsessing over celebrities is not appropriate in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President In History In The White House—Twice, And Planned To Give Obama A Third Term By Voting For Crooked Hillary, And Get All Of Their Local “Fake News” From Our Obama Supporters In The Press, Like The Ones At The Fishwrap, And On Channel 5, 9, 12, And 19.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially WLWT AnchorBabe Sheree Paolello (whose name we have to look up how to spell every time we use it).
CONSERVATIVE CAMPAIGN HOT LINE
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Some GOP Campaign items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally GOP Campaign subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Our Classic Mike Brown Video from 2010