Last week the Patronage County Commissioners were arguing about the renovation plan for the local Patronage County Museum, as well as the Patronage County Music Center, because Commissioners still need to decide before August 6 whether to place a proposed sales tax increase on the November ballot.
“A sales tax seems easiest to sell,” said Commissioner Filch. “That would spread paying for it among the greatest number of people.”
“A property tax would be tougher to sell,” added Commissioner Pilfer. “And don’t forget how people always complain whenever anybody suggest raising ticket prices to pay for improvements.”
“Our friends supporting a levy say they’re optimistic all this can be worked out They’re calling it a collaboration, and a partnership,” Commissioner Swindle explained. “They say these are very important, iconic buildings, and it’s really vital that we all pull together and try to find a solution.”
“It’s no big deal to come up with the money,” said Commissioner Filch. “Besides a county-wide sales tax, we could always get donations from local Liberal do-gooders, along with state and federal bonds and money from the city.”
“How about selling naming rights?” asked Commissioner Pilfer.
“Great idea,” answered Commissioner Swindle. “Think how much those folks at Dildo World will pay plenty to look legitimate and see their name on a big building.”
“I think we need to keep muddying the waters at least until we can get that tax hike on the November ballot,” concluded Commissioner Pilfer. “We don’t need investigative reporters at the Patronage County Innuendo asking why the owners of those buildings don’t make the repairs.”
“Right as usual, Pilfer,” concluded Commissioner Swindle. “Especially when you consider that the three of us actually own the property on which the museum and music center stand.”