This week our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about how there was no more “Golden Week” for Dumbed Down DemocRATS,” after Ohio appealed a Liberal Doofus Federal Judge’s order in Columbus to the U.S. Supreme Court, and SOTUS returned the start of Early Voting in Ohio to the date provided by the duly elected General Assembly.
“Did you see where Hereditary Patronage County Party Boss Peter Principal got his name in a prestigious national publication like yesterday’s Whistleblower?” asked Commissioner Filch. “Principal was forced to lay off his entire Early Voting Staff at his Board of Elections for the whole week when Early Voting was delayed throughout every Middlesex, village, and farm county, and ‘hood’ in Ohio.”
“But at least Ohio Poll Workers will have 28 days of meaningless part-time busy work beginning next week, unlike poll workers in Kentucky,” explained Commissioner Swindle.
“Didn’t The Blower also report there’s no such thing as ‘Early Voting’ in the Bluegrass State? How can that be?” asked Commissioner Pilfer.
“They only have ‘Absentee Voting’ in Kentucky,” said Commissioner Swindle. “And to get an “Absentee Ballot,” voters actually have to write or go to the County Clerk’s Office and apply for one. And Applicants must actually state a valid reason, under oath, why they can’t vote on Election Day like everyone else.”
“So in Kentucky it’s not like Ohio where anybody can ‘vote early and often’ just because Disingenuous DemocRAT Party Bosses, Free-Stuff Dispensing Liberals, Rhyming Reverends, and Union Goons tell them to,” added Commissioner Filch.
“I can’t image all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, would enjoy living in Kentucky,” responded Pilfer.
“Maybe that’s why Kentucky legislators wrote their law that way,” Commissioner Swindle said.
This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.