Special “Opening Day At Last” E-dition

image010image009TODAY IS
MONDAY, MARCH 29, 2021
TRUMP’S SIXTY-EIGHTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND EVERYBODY’S WONDERING WHY TRUMP DIDN’T BUY HIS OWN TEAM SO HE COULD THROWOUT THE FIRST PITCH (WHICH HE NEVER DID AS PRESIDENT)

But here’s the time Trump landed his helicopter at center field and threw out the first pitch

APRIL 4 OPENING DAY AT LAST

Root-Root-Rooting for the Home Team!
image004Typical Reds Rooter Farley Fairweather is back. And he’s really excited because Bell’s Boys are now tied for first place in the National League’s Central Division. Actually, they’d be in last place if the teams were arranged alphabetically by team name. Farley wonders how long his beloved Cincinnati Redlegs’ magic number will still be “162.”

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Due to the COVID-19 plandemic, less than a third of the stadium’s seats will be full of fans cheering on their hometown team. You might see a sign or two around the ballpark about social distancing, plus there’ll be a new cashless system to buy food and drinks.

image005Despite making the playoffs in 2020, The Reds were last in this spring’s Cactus League (7-19-2). And everybody’s hoping for the best.

image005Farley, however is making some rather bold predictions for professional baseball’s first team as it begins the 2021 season on Thursday’s Opening Day: Luis Castillo will become major league baseball’s first 30-game winner since Denny McClain did it in 1968 . . . And Joey Votto will prove he’s worth every penny of the roughly $45,000 he’s paid each and every time he comes to bat!

image005Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Ted Williams’ “Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.”

image005Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall hopes none of the millionaire Cincinnati Reds players will be taking a knee during Thursday’s National Anthem.

image005And in a related item, Hurley the Historian says on this date in 33 AD the first baseball game was played between the Bethlehem Braves and the Jerusalem Giants with Harry Carey doing the play by play. Eat your hearts out, Marty and Thom, wherever you are!

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