TUESDAY, MARCH 23, 2021
TRUMP’S SIXTY-SECOND DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
This E-dition Has Been Quarantined In The Whistleblower Archives Due To China’s Deadly Kung Flu Virus. Although Last Year’s “Let’s All Go on Spring Break” Issue Had Been Previously Scheduled For Updating, It Would Have Been Impossible For Our Staff To Edit It Under Current Government Social Distancing Protocols.
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
This year on Spring Break at the Nude Beach in Florida, I’ve been personally working on a list of guys who took their wives and families to the Redneck Riviera, Naples, Destin, or Key Largo, just so they could spend all day on the beach ogling young girls’ breasts. You’ll never guess whose names are already on that list. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
Maybe that’s why we chose Robin Williams’ “Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’” —Your Quote for Today Committee
Are all of my snitches still on Spring Break, too? —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
We’re not on Spring Break. It just always seems that way. —Northern Kentucky Legislators
Usually it’s a sure sign of spring when UK is playing basketball in the NCAA Tournament while UC and Xavier aren’t. —Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall (Now heard on 220 radio stations, locally 1360)
But it’s Spring Break in Florida. The temperature tomorrow in Punta Gorda will be 75 degrees, teenage tramps will go wild, and thongs are always particularly lovely this time of year. —Frank Weikel
Please add Venice, Florida to the list of places The Blower is watching guys who took their wives and teenage children on Spring Break so they can spend all day on the beach ogling young girls’ breasts. —Larry Laptop
Here’s a Spring Break Poem: What could be nicer, than a nice set of boobs? A pretty young girlfriend who just tied her tubes. —Odious Octogenarian Bunky Tadwell, The Bard of Cleves
Did you know some of our smarter phones allow The Blower’s photos to come through? —Barry Blackberry
According to my countdown, because next year will be leap year, there will still be 365 more days until the next BB&BJ Day. —Horny in Hebron
When does The Blower’s 2019 Girls Gone Wild on Spring Break video come out? —Will “The Thrill” Terwort
Where’s our video? —Wilder Women
Do they have any videos of women faking it? —Uptight Bitches from Fort Mitchell
Does what happens on Spring Break stay on Spring Break? —Political Philanderers
Do guys still drink a lot on Spring Break? —Nathan “Cornbread” Smith and Michael Liquid Plummer
Spring Break is a great way to get a great tan in only one day.—Larry the Loser
Do guys get to eat a lot on Spring Break? —Clueless Marc Wilson and Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich
I always used to go “crazy” on Spring Break. —Your Good Friend, Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders
Come to think of it, maybe that’s what happened to my former patient. —“Crazy Eric’s” Crazy Psychiatrist
Trish the Dish claims she still wants to know what BB&BJ stands for. —TV 19 News
She really knows, she’s just saying that. — WCPO-TV Helicopter Reporter Dan Carroll (Formerly with TV 19)
And if all of that isn’t Newsworthy enough, Geezers looking for Major Yabbos on the beach should check out “The Makeover.” — Our Aging Attorney Acquaintance Still Searching For His Lost Youth And Vigor On Spring Break, Who Just Returned From Naples
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Older Oglers On The Beach.
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower ridicules old guys who take their wives and children on Spring Break to show that ogling young girls’ breasts on the beach is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a dirty old man.
This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Ollie Ogler.
SPRING BREAK HOT LINE
e-mail your Major Yabbo sighting photos today.
Some Spring Break items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Spring Break Watching subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER SPRING BREAK VIDEO OF THE DAY
(Possibly sent in by Women’s History Month Faux Facebook Friend Addia Wuchner, Bluegrass State Representative, who doesn’t need a makeover)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.