Special “Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest” E-dition

image018image017TODAY IS

Still Just A Few Big Plays Away from Mediocre           

image005This week, everybody who wonders how scalpers can ever make a living at Bungals games, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Weekly Limerick Contest.

            The winner is the tri-state’s most gullible sports fan, Sidney Sportsucker, who again sold his spleen to buy Bungals tickets this year and hopes he won’t have as much trouble giving away his over-priced tickets to all the bad games as he did last year. Sidney remembers when politically correct pussy ESPN analyst actually predicted Cincinnati would win Super Bowl LII in 2019.  At least Sidney didn’t buy Cincinnati Reds season tickets, too.  

            Sidney wins a “Wait Till Next Year” T-Shirt, left over from when Defensive Genius Marvin Lewis first came to town; an anatomically correct Mike Brown Bobble-head Doll; choice seats behind the drunken floozie pictured below if Ohio GOP Lockdown Governor ever allows fans to attend games, and the chance to be the first in line to get beat up in the men’s room at the Holy Grail by a drunken Bungals fan after the Steelers game, since Willie’s hepatitis-free Sports café is closed. His winning entry is:image006

           When you watch the Bungals this year,
           Will their play draw a cheer or a tear?
           Will the offense show up and give the “D” a nice rest,
           And make Bungals nation start pounding their chest –
           While consuming vast quantities of their favorite beer?

         Tomas De Torquemada says:
         When you watch the Bungals this year
         You’ll be shedding many a tear.
         “Competitive,” to Mikey Brown,
          Means “able to get a first down,”
          And charging you double for beer.

And from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked):

When you watch the Bungals this year,
Wait a few games ’til you cheer.
They’ll snatch defeat, you’ll see
 From the jaws of victory,
 And you’ll end up crying in your beer.

Finally, Perturbed in Park Hills says:             

When you watch the Bungals this year,
Be prepared to fall on your spear.

New coach, new staff and new playahs?
Mikey still screws the taxpayahs.

No one knows where AJ Green went;
Has he put his pad up for rent?

Their O-line means 3 and 13:
Do they know the meaning of “mean”?

Cincy’s pro teams seem to be cursed:
Every year they go last to worst.

Mikey’s venue ends in “BS”:
Unlike us, he’s feeling no stress.

Finally, Perturbed In Park Hills Brings Everything Up To Date With:
If you watch the Bungals this year,
You’d better practice your Bronx cheer.

Did your season ticket subscribe
You to some leftist diatribe?

Will their support of “I can’t breathe”
Make your patriot anger seethe?

If they stay in the locker room
Is that enough to make you fume?

If they diss “Oh say can you see,”
Get off the couch and take a pee.

Turn off the tube and tell Mike Brown
To get his old ass out of town.

Radical chic can’t play football
While doing the BLM crawl.

What’s next, the black power salute
While running your wide-out slant route?

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
The best part of a presidential debateimage017

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